


Dismantle. Repair.

by HarlemMarxx (MrsFatality)



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Brainwashing, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 55,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsFatality/pseuds/HarlemMarxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Ambrose was promised salvation upon his abduction, but his unsettling return alongside Bray Wyatt only confirms more sinister intentions behind the word. When Seth Rollins gets tangled in an unexpected rescue from Roman Reigns, decisions and loyalties will be questioned. Will Dean fight to regain a life with his brothers or will he fall away into darkness with the buzzards?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fight and Flight

**Author's Note:**

> I went into NaNoWriMo looking to write a historical novel and came out with this. I don't know what happened really.. But I hope you enjoy it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! The first chapter is a bit rocky so please excuse any mistakes. And keep in mind that I wrote this on a whim after HIAC for my own entertainment, so its not perfect, but I had fun so whatever. ;)  
> Enjoy!

It wasn't right,  _he_  wasn't right.

This wasn't Dean. Not the Dean he remembered anyway.

It'd been so long since he'd been even relatively civil with his former brother and maybe there were things about his old self that he'd forgotten, but Seth remembered Dean. He remembered every single detail, holding them tightly somewhere in the back of his mind so that they could not escape.

Maybe he should have questioned it, the reason he held them so closely. Probably. But there was always something more important on his mind and of course he only kept his memory of Dean intact so he'd know how to hurt him. And he did, he really did.

Dean was hurting now, he could tell, but it wasn't Seth who caused it.

Hell in a Cell was the last time anyone had seen Dean. It'd been months since and despite being missing for so long, the Lunatic Fringe looked far from rested. There was no laid back look to him anymore, instead he looked weary, and there was something in his blue eyes. They were no longer playful and teasing, no, there was something there-

 _No,_ Seth thought.

Not  _something,_  there was  _nothing_  there.

Dean Ambrose was standing across from him, but staring through those dead eyes was no one.

He just looked... empty.

"Ambrose," he called out. He'd planned for this day, the day that Dean would reappear. He knew exactly what he'd wanted to say, but his voice faltered when he spoke. It felt like calling out for someone he knew wasn't there to answer.

"Dean-" his voice was a quiet plea.

"Rollins," a deep voice yelled his name out angrily. It was a familiar voice but it wasn't Dean's.

Turning to his left, he saw Roman Reigns stepping forward from the crowd. He cursed to himself and shifted so he could keep watch on the two men whose eyes were on him.

Bray stayed in his chair, which was situated a little behind Dean so that he could keep watch, rocking and smiling gleefully at the growing tension.

Roman slowly approached until he was as close to Seth as Dean was.

He thought about running. Roman looked ready to break him in two. But as his gaze darted between his former brothers, he caught Romans eye for just a moment and saw something familiar that he understood. It was a look he used to know during their Shield days. A look he hadn't seen in so long.  
Most wouldn't even catch it, but they used to know each other so well and over that time they'd learned to understand each other's subtleties. Roman must have been reading him too because he had been quick to react upon Seth's initial hesitation at the sight of Dean.

A moment passed where Seth warred with himself. There were pros and cons to either decision, but ultimately he knew he couldn't fight Dean. Not like this.  
It killed him because every move he made would be watched, and anything that seemed out of line would be held against him. He could very well lose everything he'd worked for. He'd given up everything to join the Authority, and although things with them had turned out different than he'd thought they would, he wasn't quite ready to give it up. Mainly because it was all he had left. He'd thrown a lot out the window without a second thought. It was just part of the job, getting to the top took sacrifice. Neither Roman nor Dean would've ever been able to do it, and they hated him for doing it to them. But it was just something you couldn't make someone understand. He was strong enough to fight for what he wanted, why shouldn't he then?  
But Dean's face... Those eyes. The message Roman was sending him, one that he knew was important because Roman waited for an answer instead of just attacking.  
And while yes it was risky, he was sure he could more than likely suck up to Hunter and Stephanie to regain favor. But once gone far enough, Dean would not be possible to regain.  
It was then that he realized he really only had one option.  
Eyes still on Roman, he responded as he would've back in their Shield days as well, with a slow lowering of his chin before turning to Dean again.

_three..two..one.._

They charged in unison, however Dean was more interested in Seth than anything else.

Honestly this new kind of Dean was one that terrified him. Seth could see what he needed to do in order for Roman and him to get an upper hand before Bray started with his smoke and mirrors antics. He fought Dean until he was knocked to the ground, but he didn't try to escape. If he could just shield himself from the worst of the hits, it'd keep Dean distracted while Roman took out Bray.

He curled up onto himself as much as possible, keeping his back to Dean. Blow after blow, fierce resentment behind each one, into Seth's stiff frame. He was almost beginning to wonder if it was Roman's plan to let Dean beat the hell out if him before running off, until Roman called to him, "Seth, now!"

And with that, Seth blocked a hit and swung a leg around to right himself.

Roman grabbed Dean from behind and did his best to hold him while Seth did everything he could. All they needed was for him to pass out...  
Roman got an arm wrapped tightly around Dean's neck and sternly but soothingly spoke next to his ear.

"It's okay Dean, it's just me. It's okay..."

The lunatic fringe thrashed wildly against the hold and ground his teeth into Roman's skin until he drew blood.

"Agh!" Roman cried out shortly before containing it and attempting to speak reason instead,  
"Dean listen to me, we're brothers remember? It's Roman. I love you man, remember?"

Seth watched as medics rushed past to check the now motionless Bray. Turning again, he saw that Dean's fighting had slowed and Seth almost thought he was taking the words in, that is until his his eyes fluttered shut and his head rolled to the side.

"Let's go." Roman murmured as he took Dean in his arms and turned to leave. Seth was certain the words were meant for Dean alone, but he followed anyway.

The commentators and crowd were going wild but he tuned them out.

Trailing behind Roman wasn't hard, as no one dared to give the furious man anything more than a glance. Roman often referred to Dean as his boy and if there was any question as to how he felt about someone messing with him, the answer was blatantly painted across his face.

"Rollins! Rollins! Get over here!"

_Shit._

Triple H was shouting and barreling towards him.

"You'd better have a good explanation to save your skin Rollins, because when I'm done with you that'll be the only scrap of you that's left."

Seth hesitated a moment to face him, stepping slowly backwards towards the direction Roman was still headed.

"Look I know that wasn't part of the plan-"

"Cut the bullshit, Rollins. I could destroy your career with just one word."

Seth raised his palms innocently, and side-eyed a wall of crates to his right.

"Do you understand me? I say the word and you're gone! No questions asked."

"Yes sir, I understand. But-"

Just as the words left his mouth, he was shoving the crates between Triple H and him. They crashed to the ground, completely blocking the small hallway. He took off running at top speed as Hunter shouted curses and called out for backup.

Not looking back, Seth caught up to Roman as he was exiting through a door at the end of the hall.  
They stepped into the darkness and he realized they were at the side of the building. A single car was parked under a dim streetlight.

"Rollins get out of here." Roman growled, lifting Dean carefully onto his shoulder and unlocking the door to the backseat.

"Oh is that how it's gonna be? You do realize this was sort of a team effort right?" Seth said as he barricaded the building's door, keeping a watch on Dean who was being gently laid down across the backseat.

"Funny, the Shield was sort of a team effort once too, look how that turned out." Roman said darkly as he pulled a bottle from under the seat and poured the contents into a rag. Seth watched the rag become a little heavier with the liquid until suddenly the door behind him began to quake, taking his focus.  
His eyes met the barricade as it began to fall apart, and he backed further and further away until he was next to Roman.

"Get out of here Seth! We don't need you!" Roman yelled angrily.

Everything went to chaos then because the barricade was blown away with the force of the Authority and Bray Wyatt bursting through the door, Dean groaned and began stirring from his spot in the car, Roman was tossing the rag to Seth and shouting for him to get in, and Seth dove into the car, practically on top of Dean and slammed the door as they sped away.

"I swear Rollins," Roman growled shaking his head.

Seth was holding the cloth of what he understood to be some sort of heavy sadative, over the nose and mouth of a newly unconscious Dean Ambrose.

"If you so much as  _think_ something I don't like, I will make sure you career isn't the only thing you lose."

Seth frowned at the sincerity in his voice.

"We want the same thing here, you know." He responded, trying to sound cooperative.

His eyes gazed just below him, where Dean's ironically peaceful face sat. His face was badly scarred and there were dark shadows under his eyes. Seth gently brushed some of Dean's messy hair off of his face.

_How could I let this happen to you?_

"Do we? Because last time I checked, you wanted to tear him apart, and as it just so happens, I'm trying to hold him together. I think you're confused." Roman bit out.

"Roman, I-"

"You know what, no. I don't wanna hear it. Soon as we get to where we're going you're on your own."

"Would you just hear me out?"

"No, I won't. I've heard what you have to say and none of it's what I wanted to hear from you. And you know what?" He quickly met Seth's eyes in the rearview mirror. "It doesn't matter. I don't want it anymore. You are a piece of garbage, and I finally see that."

"Ro-"

"Don't, Rollins!" Roman shouted suddenly, shutting him up quickly.

Seth let out a deep exhale as he realized the gravity of the entire situation. He didn't speak again, watching silently when Roman pulled out his phone to dial a number.

"Hey it's Roman. I've got him and we're on our way."

A pause as he listened to the person on the other end.

"Yeah, I know. No. He uh, he's here too."

Another glance in the rearview.

"No no, not like- AJ no. Would you listen to me a minute? He sort of- well, he's not a threat right now."

Roman exhaled this time.

"Listen, I know that better than anyone. You know I do." His voice became soft as he said it but returned to normal once more, "I didn't have much of a choice. I'll take care of it though, trust me."

Not too long after, the phone call was over. During that time, Seth struggled to make a space for himself in the backseat that didn't involve lying on top of Dean. He ended up in the seat diagonal from Roman, with Dean's head resting upon his lap. Maybe he should've felt uncomfortable -probably- but if he was being honest with himself -which these days he rarely was- it felt completely natural. Well, that was other than the fact that Dean wasn't happily napping, and Roman hated his guts.

"AJ's in on this?" he asked making sure not to sound overly interested in Roman's plans.

A long moment of silence passed before Roman must have decided responding would be harmless.

"Yeah." The answer was short and flat, the kind that someone gave when they didn't want to talk to you but wanted you to shut up. Seth was well aware that was exactly the kind of answer Roman meant to give, but took the fact that he answered at all as an opportunity to break down the obvious barrier. While it was only one of the many barriers between them, it'd be a start.

"Is that where we're taking him?"

Nothing.

"To her place?" Seth tried again.

"No." Same as before, one word.

Seth decided to just drop it, looking out the window, bored.

"We bought an old house, pretty out of the way since we don't really know what to expect when he wakes."

The corner of Seth's mouth turned up ever so slightly at the longer response.

"Mm, good thinking. What exactly do y'think Bray did to him?"

"Seth, let me ask  _you_  a question. What was your plan? Before I showed up?"

"Well... I didn't actually have one."

He cleared his throat before continuing, "It was uh, sort of a sudden change of thought."

Roman let out a laugh in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Seth felt a bit embarrassed but didn't want to break up the conversation they had going, "Yeah I mean, I was going to fight him- well, I was going to fight  _Dean,_  But when I saw him... He wasn't Dean anymore."

He looked down at the head in his lap, his fingers tracing the scars that covered Dean's face. He quietly wished he knew each of their stories, but then again, maybe he didn't.

"So where are you gonna go from here?" Roman's voice drew him from his thoughts.

Seth's stomach squirmed.

_Right, I don't belong anywhere now._

"Who knows. My track record isn't looking great."

He was only half joking. Roman didn't say anything, but Seth knew his response wasn't one of disagreement.

They turned down a dirt road that ran through a forest before ending at an old abandoned home that was barely standing. Roman parked behind the house and Seth eyed it in shock. Roman got out and opened the back door opposite to Seth.

"It's further in, dummy. Figured it'd be better not to have the car point straight to where we're staying, y'know?" He said as he scooped up Dean's limp body.

Seth mouthed "oh" before getting out and following close behind the other two. It was dark out and Roman was the only one with a flashlight and any clue as to where he was going.

"Further in" was definitely a good description. They marched on until Seth almost began wondering if Roman was going to try to lose him amongst the trees, but then he saw a light ahead. Soon they were looking at a rickety house, not as old or rugged as the one by the road, but still so. The front steps creaked and one broke straight through as Roman heaved Dean up them.

Before he could knock, the door swung open.

"Roman, how is he? Bring him in," the short brunette, AJ Lee stepped aside, motioning for them to come in.

"He's okay. He's been out the whole-"

"You brought Rollins here?" AJ's entire demeanor changed as soon as she set eyes on him. She'd always made Seth uneasy, but especially now that she looked like she very much wanted to strangle him.

"Well I have a feeling the Authority isn't gonna want him back, so like I said, not a threat." Roman left for a small closet in the wall.

"You two know I'm right here, right?"

"Shut up Rollins." AJ said, practically over him.

When Roman returned, he held what appeared to be-

"No." the word escaped Seth before he could stop it.

Roman nodded unhappily, looking down at the straitjacket in his arms.

"Yeah we weren't thrilled with the idea either, but it'll be better than him hurting himself. He'd break out of pretty much anything else. He's crafty as hell."

Seth couldn't argue with that.  
Instead he watched as the others sat Dean upright, gently sliding his arms into the sleeves and strapping them down.

Dean would hate it if he knew.

Roman scooped him up yet again, whispering what sounded like an apology into his tangled curls, and took him to a room nearby.

When Seth followed, he saw that the room was bare other than a mattress supported by nothing but a box spring. The implications made a chill run through him.

_Will he really be this bad?_

He remembered the dead look in Dean's eyes at the match. He could  _easily_  be that bad.

He watched as Roman lowered Dean onto the bed, and removed the cloth from his face. Seth quickly backed up to the doorway. He had no clue how this Dean felt about him, but it wasn't worth the risk to find out.

"He's going to be dazed a while." Roman offered as he stood. "It's probably best we give him some time alone after that to let him get the initial rage out if his system."

Seth nodded in hasty agreement.

They left the room, locking the door behind them.

AJ made her way to the kitchen announcing that she'd made dinner, and Roman left for a small bedroom next to Dean's.

Seth stood alone for a minute, taking in the appearance of the living room. The old floral wallpaper was peeling in many places, the windows were rather dirty, and the furniture looked like they'd thrown it together from various garage sales… for all he knew, they probably had. Though the place was anything but nice, it had a certain cozy feel to it.  
He noticed the kitchen wasn't much different, old table, old appliances, old everything.

"'Ey Rollins, you like spaghetti?" AJ asked, not taking her eyes off the stove.

"Uh, sure." He sat in one if the three mismatched chairs around the wooden table.

"Good."

Something landed in his lap and he looked up to see Roman leaning against the door frame,  
"Put a shirt on at least, would you?" he said with mock disgust.

Seth slipped into it, giving a look of sheepish appreciation. He honestly had forgotten he was still in his ring gear, but at least now with a t-shirt -though a bit loose- over his black pants, and with his soon to be bare hands, he looked more casual. He then tied up his hair, ignoring the ache in his shoulder as he moved it.

"Really, Rome?" Slipped out as soon as he noticed "one versus all" printed across the shirt.

"Don't call me that. And yes Rollins, you're welcome."

"Okay, okay sorry." Seth put his hands up innocently but added with a touch of snark, "Thank you,  _Reigns."_

"Mhm."

AJ handed Roman a bowl of spaghetti and they both sat across from Seth at the table. He watched for a moment before taking the hint and rising to get a bowl for himself.

They'd gotten halfway through the meal when they were interrupted by a loud banging sound from the other room.

Seth's eyes widened as they met Roman's.

In little time, Roman was on his feet and already to the door the noise had come from.

_So much for leaving him for a little while._

"Dean?" he called in a kind tone that hid the nervousness that was evident on his face well.

Silence.

"Can you hear-"

Suddenly the noise began again, over and over the door was beat from the other side. Dean yelled in rage.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

He could be heard sliding down against the wood, his breaths falling loud and heavy all the way to the bottom.

"I'm going to open the door now."

Seth stepped a few paces away until he could no longer be seen from Dean's room.

He didn't know who they'd see when the door opened, but he wasn't about to stick around to find out.

* * *

Roman pulled a key from his pocket, and slowly he opened the door.

The scene before them was difficult to look at. Seeing Dean unconscious and restrained was one thing, seeing him awake like that was something entirely different.

Roman had spent enough long nights with Dean to know more of his background than most people. From what little Roman knew of Dean's childhood, it hadn't been a pretty one. He had made it out okay obviously, but there was a time when he was tossed between foster homes thanks to the downfalls of his parents. During that time he'd been very troubled and eventually he'd been sent elsewhere, wrongly in Roman's opinion.

He'd ended up spending time in a mental institution as a result of it all, treated as if he were feral because it was easier to slap a label on him then try to understand. Easier to say he was a product of a broken home in broke down city than to look into his eyes and see a plea for help.

It was clear that the state had just been fed up with dealing with Dean's case, and because of his nearly unstable nature, he was easy to pass off to someone else.   
And although commentators insisted on portraying Dean as a complete lunatic, Roman knew how much the idea of real and total insanity horrified him. Of course that didn't stop him from playing up the angle sometimes. But Roman knew him well enough to be able to tell when he was putting on, and when his unique tendencies were actually showing.

He wasn't putting on now. Not at all.

Hard breaths came out too fast, his body trembled, blue eyes darting wildly.

"Whoa, whoa Dean," Roman said sympathetically, kneeling beside where he was lying on the floor. He knew how to deal with full-on panic attacks, he'd done it many times now, but he hoped he could keep Dean from getting to that point.

"Hey, I'm here okay? It's just Roman. I'm going to keep you safe. Just breathe."

He frowned at Dean's position.

"I want to sit you up, would that be okay?"

Dean didn't say anything but nodded a little.

Relieved, Roman took him carefully by his middle and sat him up. After that he moved his arms, not wanting to make Dean feel more trapped. He kept contact though, stroking his upper arm steadily.

As soon as his breathing slowed slightly and he stiffened.

"Stop." It was a quiet murmur.

"What?" Roman lifted his hand.

"I said, stop."

Roman shifted so that he could give Dean a little space. It wasn't like Dean had never asked not to be touched, it was just that this time there was a different look in his eyes. Almost like he wasn't fully with them but the part of him that was, was on some sort of ledge.

_Oh Dean what did he do to you?_

"Listen to me, you're safe here. I'm going to keep you safe." Roman said soothingly.

But Dean just shook his head frantically.  
"You're a liar and a traitor, just like him. You betrayed me, said you'd be there but you weren't. I called you my brother... but I was wrong. Bray, he showed me things... found me when I was lost, gave me a family. He  _healed_  me. ...And where were you?"

His eyes pierced into Roman with accusation, "'One versus all' you say. Like it's you against the world. But I needed you. You weren't there. You're a liar, Roman."

"Dean- I'm sorry. I didn't know, I thought you were alright..."

Dean let out a sharp laugh like it was a joke, but Roman saw no humor.

"I was naive to think anything we'd built could last. This world is sick, I've always known it, I was just trying to hold onto some false hope that I was wrong. Now I see how right I was... he showed me. I know better now."

Roman was taken aback by it all, he thought he'd been there for Dean. He'd always known Dean questioned the good in humans, but this was bad. Before the Shield he'd relied on only himself, they'd come so far from that. His walls had slowly come down and he'd begun to trust them. It hurt to see him like this, like all of their efforts had been in vein. It was like Seth's betrayal all over again. Roman had hated Seth for ripping Dean's trust apart like that, but somehow he was the one at fault now.

Tesnsion hung thick in the air until AJ finally spoke up in an obvious attempt to diffuse the situation.

"Hey Dean, you hungry?" She asked, keeping her voice casual.

His eyes shot up to look at her and he seemed to think for a moment, weighing the question in his mind, before giving a simple, "Yeah."

Roman stayed in the room with Dean who was still calming himself slightly, while AJ left for the kitchen.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket just enough to type a quick text. As much as he hated himself for it, he still knew Seth's number by heart.

-Roman: room next to this. go. dont come out.-

-Roman: touch anything and youre dead-

* * *

Seth entered the room- Roman's room, he figured in no time at all.

_touch anything and you're dead_

He snorted to himself. Looking around the place brought an odd feeling of nostalgia. A bittersweet memory of what they used to have, the way the three of them used to live together...  _everything you screwed up_  he thought to himself squeezing his eyes shut tight.

_My reasons were justified.._

_But were they?_

_Did you ever know the meaning of 'justice'?_

He opened his eyes again, gazing at the familiar things around him.

_The only one who was justly served was you. You're miserable now, just like you deserve to be._

He angrily kicked a backpack across the room, not giving a second glance to the things that spilled out as it flew.

"Screw you roman," he grumbled under his breath.

He dropped down onto the bed, putting his head in his hands. He took out his phone and sent Roman what he was thinking before he could change his mind.

-Seth: If I told you I regret it, would you believe me?-

It wasn't long before the screen lit up again in response,

-Roman: at this point? no.-

Seth let out a breath he'd not noticed he'd been holding.

Would he have believed himself?

Probably not.

He made to lie back across the bed but was quickly reminded of the injuries he had yet to inspect from serving as a distraction. He sat up again, looking in the mirror that was conveniently across from the bed. Carefully lifting his shirt, he wrinkled his nose at the sight. Dark bruises streaked over his torso, nothing he hadn't seen before, especially after Hell in a Cell. He cursed at the thought of starting the healing process all over again.

His phone buzzed again.

-Roman: nice fucking job rollins-

-Seth: What is it now?-

-Roman: Where'd you leave your stupid gloves-

Free hand instinctively dropping to his pockets, he remembered suddenly. The table, he'd left them on the kitchen table.

-Seth: shit-

-Roman: just threw em behind some stuff... he didnt see but it was close-

Seth had barely typed out his appreciation and was about to send it when Roman added,

-Roman: he doesnt need that kind of stress right now. soon as he's back to normal though you won't be hiding behind me.-

-Seth: Think he will? I mean, Bray brainwashed him... Do you think he can be the same person he was before?-

-Roman: Ive seen him pull through worse. but you wouldnt know.-

 _Ouch._  Seth could tell it was a deliberate jab at him but he chose to let it roll off his back. He guessed he deserved it. But there's no way Dean had been that bad off when he'd left, right?  
  
But who was he kidding? He knew Roman was right, he'd torn apart something sacred. What they'd had with each other wasn't something you could just replace or get over.  
Especially not for Dean when they were the only family he'd ever really had.  
Seth had just been selfish enough to talk himself around all that, and now it was catching up with him and staring him in the face, daring him to keep ignoring it.  
  
He sighed. He had to stop thinking like that, he was exausted and could feel a headache coming on, so he decided to make himself comfortable on Roman's bed. What could it hurt, he was stuck there anyway.   
He got so comfortable in fact, he almost didn't notice himself drifting to sleep.

* * *

Roman hadn't mentioned anything potentially sensitive over dinner, and neither had AJ. It was something they'd discussed months ago, in the planning stages of Dean's rescue. They didn't know how he'd been eating since he'd been taken, so they didn't want to risk ruining his appetite.

He didn't eat nearly as much as he used to by any means, but it was something, which was a huge relief to Roman.

He felt guilty telling AJ as much as he had about Dean's past and personal life, considering how long it'd taken for Dean to even tell him. But he knew he could trust AJ because he knew if Dean referred to someone as his friend, they were trustworthy, save for one.

So he'd told her what was necessary and they worked from there.

Dean had carried little quirks from his childhood, including the fact that food was a comfort to him. He almost always kept snacks around, sometimes overate, and chewed gum when he was anxious.  
This time though his poor appetite didn't come as a comfort to Roman. He wouldn't mention it though and neither would AJ. Instead they ate in silence, allowing Dean one free arm and a spoon, while the other stayed strapped securely against his body.

Once they were finished, Roman took him to the living room, while AJ busied herself with cleanup in the kitchen.

Dean seemed a good bit more at ease with what little freedom he now had. His fingers danced across his knee restlessly.

Roman took a deep breath.

"Dean, can we talk? About everything with Bray I mean..."

Dean shrugged as if it really wasn't that big of a deal.

"I guess."

"Are you sure you're okay? You were missing for  _months."_

Roman didn't want to rush Dean and cause his defenses to go up, but he had to know. Besides, they used to talk about personal things, so it came naturally to Roman.

Dean however, didn't seem to feel the same. He hesitated stiffly, thinking about that for a moment before answering.

"I'm fine." he seemed far away, even as he spoke again. 

Roman didn't like the way he answered. Something was off about it.

"Dean, talk to me."

"I'm fucking talking to you right now." He said a little agitated.

"I know but-"

"What? What're you gonna say? That I can  _trust you?"_ he shook his head.

Roman sighed. He hadn't wanted to get Dean worked up, so much for that.

"Okay, you're right. I messed up by you, and I really am sorry."

Dean stared him down darkly, without a word. When he finally dropped his gaze, he spoke, "Why did you bring me here? What is it you want?"

Roman had to think about it. They'd wanted to save him, but he didn't seem like he wanted to be saved... If this new Dean  _wanted_  to be with Bray, then what were they doing? Who were they to keep him from what he wanted? But still, it was so unlike Dean to want that, and that scared Roman. He didn't appear to be under any kind of control from Bray, but what if they sent him on his way and found out they'd missed something?

"Tell you what, if you stay with us for a few months and  _still_  want to go back, we'll let you go and never bother you about any of this again."

It was quite a gamble but Roman knew it was the only option. It wouldn't be right to harass him about the past once he made his mind up anyway.

"You didn't answer-"

"I know, Dean. Look, AJ and I care about you, okay? We just want to make sure you know exactly what it is you want. I promise you that's all we want."

Dean's face grew frustrated and confused.

"I know what I want  _already._  Just let me go back-"

Roman was getting desperate now and he could feel something in him snap, "Remember when Seth betrayed us?"

He forced himself to ignore the pain in Dean's eyes at his words.

"Remember how there was a time you refused to believe it was his choice? Like maybe someone had forced his hand, or tricked him y'know? And you knew- you  _knew_  it wasn't true. And you knew that one day you'd have to stop pretending. That on that day, even you wouldn't be able to convince yourself you believed it."

Dean was biting his lip, his intense glare on Roman who just continued.

"You lied to yourself every night just to make it to the next day, in hopes he'd come home... Night after night. You remember how long you held on? How I tried to tell you it was over and you could let go, and you yelled at me? How bent you were on not ever giving up?" Roman could feel tears welling up in his eyes then. "Now it's my turn, Dean. Please just give me that." 

After a long silent moment Roman stood and went to the kitchen where AJ still was, now leaned up against the counter looking at her phone. She looked at him sympathetically but he put up a hand to stop her from asking. Truthfully, he wasn't okay.

She nodded once in understanding and went to see Dean to his room again.

Alone, Roman shut his eyes.

He'd been so afraid that Dean would be someone completely new, that he hadn't considered him just having a new mindset. It was far more terrifying this way. Because what if Dean didn't choose him? What if this really was what he wanted? What if Roman had already lost his only remaining brother?

No, he couldn't let himself think like that. He needed to distract himself, so he decided to turn in for the night, knowing AJ would understand.

What he saw upon entering his room was not exactly what he'd expected.  
Seth was still there, which wasn't anything too surprising, but he was dead asleep across the bed, part of the blanket pulled over him, and his hair spilling from its tie.

Roman laughed quietly as he looked down at him. He changed and got ready for bed, sliding onto one side of Seth.

"Move over, little skunk." Roman teased, nudging him to scoot.

"You know I hate that." Seth slurred sleepily while rolling onto his side.

"I know." Roman smiled as he got comfortable.

He wouldn't have been so trusting if Seth weren't the one already passed out in the middle of nowhere surrounded and outnumbered by people who hated him. Roman felt his chances for the night were actually pretty good.

It would only be a matter of shutting his mind down to get some sleep. Who knew what the next day could bring…


	2. Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say that all of the responses I've gotten from this story have been incredible! I honestly was't expecting this! I am so, so grateful... I'm generally very self-conscious about my work, so when the reviews started coming in I was ecstatic, and even now I can't stop beaming at the thought of them! So thank you for that. :) Anyway, this chapter is shorter than the last one, and I can't say it's the most exciting.. but I wanted to go ahead and update for my lovely readers!  
> Also I want to add that I may not be able to update again for a little while due to Christmas festivities, but know that I am not going to abandon this. I have over 25,000 words (and counting) of this story written in a single note on my ipod (haha) and it's just a matter of editing and formatting and whatnot.  
> When it does come, the next chapter will take a bit of a darker turn, just a heads up.
> 
> Thanks again, enjoy!

They all slept in the next morning to make up for the night before.  
With eyes still shut to keep out the unwanted morning light, Roman slowly stretched out his arm until it reached someone. It was Seth, he could tell without even looking. Smiling, he slid his arm around Seth's bare torso and pulled him close. His smile faltered when he realized Dean wasn't in the middle where he always slept, and-  _Oh._

He sat up, practically shoving Seth away, as the present set in.

"Ow! Roman!"

"Shhh! Shut up!"

"Well how'd you expect me to react?" Seth responded, this time with less volume, but more sass.

"Chill out. You're in  _my_  bed..."

Seth hiked his eyebrows.

"Well  _Goldilock_ s, it was late. Where was I supposed to sleep?"

"Ten o'clock is late to you. And that's not even how that story goes."

"Screw you." Seth gave an exaggerated look of irritation.

"No but really, you were supposed to be gone by now. I need to figure out what to do with you..." He pondered it a moment while getting dressed, but decided to just deal with it after breakfast.

Making sure Dean's door was still closed and locked, he showed Seth to the small bathroom so he could get washed up before going back into the bedroom.  
Roman hummed quietly to himself as he scrambled eggs in the kitchen.  
AJ stumbled in, still wearing an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants.

"G'morning," she muttered as she plopped into one of the kitchen chairs.

Not far behind came Seth, hair still wet from the shower.  
"Morning AJ," he offered in a casual yet friendly tone.

"It  _was._ " She replied.

AJ had been there through the betrayal. She hadn't known Roman that well, but she and Dean had become pretty close friends. She was there through it and saw how it badly it tore Dean up. Needless to say, she hated Seth.  
Seth rolled his eyes and sat across from her, as Roman passed each of them a plate of eggs, bacon, biscuits, and gravy.  
Admittedly, it smelled amazing, but Seth eyed it skeptically.  
  
"You trying to kill us?" he joked like they would've back when they were close. Seth teasing him whenever he made heavy meals, and him teasing back about Seth's health obsession. Only they weren't close anymore.

Roman set two more plates on the table and stopped to give Seth a judging look.

"Damn, I forgot how whiny you are."  
He picked up the plate and motioned for Seth to get up before handing it back to him,  
"Don't eat it then. I don't care what you do with it, just go do it in my room so Dean can come eat. Because y'know, he appreciates food since he fucking knows what it's like  _to not have any."  
_

"No, I didn't mean- Never mind. Thanks." Seth left with his plate in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other.

"Fucking spoiled brat."

Roman heard AJ snort at that as he left to get Dean.  
  
He'd known it was a joke but they weren't on those terms anymore. Seth was no longer in a position to complain even jokingly.  
Not to mention how it'd always burned Roman up if he ever seriously complained about food, especially when they were around Dean. Not that Dean would ever say anything about it, but he always wondered how comments like that made him feel.  
He tried not to blame Seth too much for it because he knew that he was raised in a setting where he was taken care of and money wasn't really a problem the same way it'd been for Dean.   
Today it just hit him wrong, he guessed. Honestly, he was really worried about Dean. He'd raised the stakes by adding a deadline with a promise tied to it, now he had to keep it.  
  
When he opened the door to Dean's room, he found him pacing restlessly. The sight made Roman feel guilty. Dean looked like a wild animal at the zoo, trapped and desperate for any movement he was allowed. AJ had restrained his other arm again before leaving him by himself the night before, but not without a fight she'd said.  
He must've still been angry about it because as Roman came closer, he continued to ignore him.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?" Roman tried.

Dean didn't stop his rounds but gave Roman a "how do you think?" look. And he looked tired. Shadows loomed under his exhausted eyes.

"That bad huh?"

No response.

"Nightmares again?"

He knew Dean never slept well alone. It was part of the reason he used to sleep in the middle of the other two.  
Dean only shrugged which Roman knew meant that he was right.  
He nodded and went to sit on the unmade bed.

"C'mere."

Dean looked at him skeptically and he just held both hands out to communicate his intentions.  
Understanding spread over Dean and he came to sit next to Roman who began undoing the jacket.  
Dean eyed his hands as he removed the first buckle.

"You know I'm not gonna run, right?" He took his now free arm and moved it around a bit, stretching out the stiffened muscles. "I'm not planning on fighting you. I'm giving you your chance."

The way he seemed to choose his words carefully, spoke a level sincerity that didn't go unnoticed.  
Roman's hands continued to the other buckle, without a second thought. Before Dean could pull his arm away though, Roman took his hand and looked him in the eye.

"Thank you."

"Yeah sure." Dean said awkwardly, slipping his hand away. "Is it time to eat?"

Roman smiled, "Yes. Breakfast is waiting for you in the kitchen."

"Can I shower after that?"

"Of course, I want you to feel as at home here as possible."

Dean chuckled humorlessly as he left for the door.

It was nice being able to have Dean free of restraints again. Something about his personality had shifted and it was just one more glimmer of hope towards having the old Dean back.  
Roman felt the pressure now that Dean had agreed to his offer. While yes he'd agreed to letting them try and get through to him, he'd also agreed to leaving if they failed.  
Roman knew this was his last and only chance. If he screwed it up, he would lose his brother forever.

* * *

Seth groaned when his phone buzzed from its place on the bed. He'd just finished his breakfast, which he'd eaten all of after all, and he really just wanted to relax the rest of the morning.  
No doubt Roman was guilting him, for what he'd said at the table, in the text he'd just received.   
  
He knew he probably deserved some of it. Roman used to get onto him for complaining about certain things even before the breakup, but he was a believer in the 'every man for himself' mindset. If he could get exactly what he wanted, there was no way he was going to settle for less just because someone else couldn't. 

He did feel guilty though, maybe it was rude. But it wasn't like he never thought about Dean's underprivileged past, he just didn't think it should affect him.

They never did seem to feel the same way when it came to thinking like that. He'd left the Shield to achieve higher power. It wasn't his fault that the other two were left behind in the process. And while they saw him as a traitor, he knew he was making the most of his potential. He never actually wanted to hurt them, it was just a sacrifice he had to make on his way to greatness. Why should he be guilted for choosing what was best for his life?  
He'd eventually had to harden himself to a point where he could do things based on only himself and no one else. He couldn't afford to worry for anyone other than than that.

Sighing, he picked up the phone. The damage couldn't be that bad-  
  
The name across the screen was not Roman's.

 _No no no_  
  
-Triple H: Rollins do you remember that talk we had about the importance of loyalty within the Authority?-

A chill ran through Seth.

-Triple H: We don't take these things lightly. You know this.-

His finger hovered over the keyboard. What was he supposed to say? It was too late for apologies and he had no one to side with now.

_Every man for himself._

The words rang through his head like cruel mockery. Dread was filling him despite his efforts to stay calm.

-Triple H: I'll be seeing you soon.-

Seth dropped the phone into his lap and massaged his temples.  
  
He knew if Triple H said something, he meant it. How soon, he didn't know.  
So Hunter wanted to find him, and Roman wanted to lose him. His odds were looking worse by the minute.  
If he could just convince them...

-Seth: Roman, I need to talk to you as soon as you can manage.-

-Roman: why?-

-Seth: We have to talk about it in person.-

-Roman: then I guess you're gonna have to wait-

Seth groaned again. If only there was a way to tell Roman it was really important without raising any red flags.

-Roman: Dean will be back in his room when we head out tonight. we can talk then -

He sighed. He'd just have to wait until then.

* * *

Roman rolled his eyes at the texts. Seth was being unnecessarily needy this morning, while Dean was sitting across from him, broken.  
Roman watched him as he slowly ate. He was zoned out and Roman knew it was partly from lack of sleep but also there was something eerie that he couldn't quite put his finger on.  
Thank goodness he'd be getting Seth out of his hair soon. Then he could really focus on Dean's needs. Seeing him so exhausted and weary, he now hoped to at least stay in the room with him that night, to help remedy the nightmares. Though he knew AJ might not approve for safety reasons, if he was to gain Dean's trust back, he would have to do whatever he could- and fast.  
Seeing what Dean thought of the idea would be telling, as he normally wouldn't sleep around anyone if he could help it, unless a certain level of trust was established first.  
Luckily the trust they'd had before wasn't completely gone, it just seemed... damaged. It was as if someone had broken in and tampered with it. Like Dean had woken up one morning to find it torn apart with only an idea as an explanation of how.  
He just couldn't seem to trust Roman like he used to. Almost like he was afraid to, for what reason, Roman didn't know.  
Had he ever given Dean a reason for it? Maybe he hadn't been there for him like he should've... But why did he seem afraid?  
Roman saw it in little things. The way he was always on edge, how he seemed to be holding back in a way, or how he watched Roman's movements carefully as if he were measuring each of them warily.

It was a different story with AJ, which was something Roman couldn't quite figure out. Yes she was small, but Dean had always respected her and he knew how much damage she could do.  
So why wasn't he nervous around her?

The sound of shattering glass ripped him from thoughts.  
Dean cursed and bolted from his seat to grab the paper towels. His cup was lying in pieces on the table.

"Shit! Sorry, my head was somewhere else... I guess it slipped."

"No, don't worry about it. It's okay." Roman reassured him.

"I don't know what happened," He continued, cleaning the mess.

"Dean, I said don't worry about it. It happens, okay? You haven't slept and you're exhausted, it's fine."

Honestly Roman was somewhat concerned because it wasn't something that "happens." Not to Dean. Roman must not have realized how tired he really was, and it made him wonder when the last time Dean actually slept well was.

"How're you doing, by the way? I know this was all unexpected."

Dean's eyes narrowed a little before he answered.

"I'm alright. I mean, yeah it was sudden and awful, and kind of a sick thing for you to do... But I guess I get why you did it. I don't blame you for it."

"We didn't know it was your choice to be there, y'know? We thought the worst..."

Dean shook his head, "No, no it's not like that. Bray took me in when I was lost, he saved me."

Roman looked at him, somewhat puzzled. He knew there was no figuring it out. Bray Wyatt seemed anything  _but_  safe.  
He decided not to try to make sense of it.

"Thank you again. For staying."

Dean just shrugged, sitting down again.

"Well even if you tried to hold me here after this is over, he'd come looking for me. He'll find me either way to take me home."

Dean's words sounded like they were meant to be comforting, at least for himself, but something sinister seemed to loom in them.

"Sup dorks," AJ chimed as she entered the room, fully showered and dressed.

Dean smiled a little and waved lazily.

"What're we doing today?" she asked, returning the smile.

"Probably just taking it easy, some of us had a rough night." Roman gave her a subtle but meaningful look.

"Ah. Okay, cool."

"I'm gonna go ahead and get cleaned up, I guess. Thanks for breakfast, Rome." Dean rose from his seat and took his plate to the sink.

"Sure," Roman smiled.

When he was gone and the water could be heard running from the other room, the two spoke softly.

"How's he doing?" AJ asked with concern.

"He had a bad night. I can't leave him alone again tonight."

"Roman no, you don't know what he could be capable of right now."

"Look, if we want him to trust us, we're going to have to trust him. I'll be fine, I won't sleep until he's out."

"I just think you need to keep in mind that he's not the same anymore."

"I know. He's giving us a chance though; we have to do whatever we can to get him back."

She sighed, "Okay. Just be careful."

"I will. And if you don't mind, I'm going to step out to take Rollins to the closest bus stop. We don't need Dean finding out."

"We don't need Rollins." She corrected.

"Exactly."

"So just tell Dean you're going to the store or something, lock him in his room, and take Rollins?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Roman nodded.

"Sounds good. I know he's all talk, but I'll feel a lot better once he's gone."

"I know, me too."  
Something nagged at Roman as the words left his mouth because while he didn't trust Seth, it wasn't something he should have to think of or decide. It should've just been a simple fact.  
Seth had done him no favors. Not a single one.  
Sure, they'd had good times but now that they were over, it just hurt. It was like the three of them had built their lives around each other, creating something that stood strong. But when Seth betrayed them, he left a hole they could not fill. Everything they'd built together came tumbling down in his wake. He'd left them to pick up the pieces of themselves and rebuild from the ground up.  
Roman absolutely hated him for it.  
So why couldn't he let him go?

 _No,_ he thought. He would  _make_  him go.

While he may not have been able to fully let go with his heart, he would force himself to let go in every other way he could.

To solidify the plan, he typed out a message to Seth,  
-Roman: I'll be dropping you at the bus stop tonight. gather whatever is yours and be ready to go-

-Roman: you can keep the shirt-

-Roman: make your calls or whatever-

Roman waited a moment for a response.

-Seth: I really have to talk to you.-

 _Seriously?_  Roman thought.  _What could be so fucking important?_  
  
-Roman: we'll talk in the car-

-Seth: No. We cant-

-Seth: it has to be before then-  
The messages were quickly typed and sent, making him even more curious about what Seth could be on about. He almost got up to just go ask, but he was stopped by the sound of the shower being turned off.

-Roman: you don't call the shots rollins. not anymore-

-Roman: you lost that privilege a long time ago-

"Everything okay?" AJ asked, looking across the table, concerned.  
Roman stood and began cleaning up.

"Mhmm. Just being dramatic."

He checked his phone again when it vibrated in his pocket.

-Seth: It's important.-

-Roman: you sold out your own brothers. you wouldn't know important if it punched you in the face.-


	3. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hello! :) I hope you've all had as wonderful of a holiday as I have!  
> As always, thank you for everything!
> 
> Enjoy!

_Don't stray._

_He seems to mean well…_

_Don't stray._

_What happened to us?_

_Don't stray._

_What happened to me?_

_Don't. Stray._

_Fix me._

Dean shook his head violently trying to clear it. He hated when this happened, and it seemed to be happening more and more often. There was just too much in his mind for him to take. He couldn't gather his thoughts onto one path, leaving him feeling lost in his own head.

It was unsettling to say the least and-  _oh._

It was the first time he'd really seen himself in…

_Weeks? Roman said months. But that can't be right._

It was the first time he'd really seen himself since the night of Hell in a Cell.

His widened eyes scanned over his own reflection. From the long hair that hung messily around his neck and over his forehead, the many scars across his face, and to the most obvious- the ones all over his body. He looked terrible. Though, the fact that the marks were there wasn't what bothered him most... the fact that he couldn't remember even getting them was.

Having injuries that were unaccounted for wasn't anything new, but there had never been this many without so much as an idea of where they'd come from.

But-  _they were from a knife weren't they?_  He narrowed his eyes, tracing a particularly nasty one down to his waist.

_An old, jagged knife ripped through his skin as he hollered in agony._

_He was too weak to fight back, too weak to run, too weak to do anything and yet the yells continued to escape him._

_A sick voice cooed to him between hot breaths against his ear,_

_"That's right, sing for me little bird, and I will set you free..."_

_Something leathery brushed across his bloodied arm as another cut was made down the other._

_He was beyond hate, beyond fighting, beyond begging; all he had left was this torture and a prayer that the gentle darkness would take him soon._

* * *

"Dean! Can you hear me? Open the door!" Roman called as he knocked violently against the wood.

Dean's yelling had stopped and silence had fallen on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Just break it open," AJ urged Roman frantically. They'd been knocking for quite a while with no response.

With a loud warning, Roman rammed his shoulder against the door with just enough strength to make it open.

Dean was on the floor, hugging himself and shaking horribly. He was breathing unevenly and he was quietly muttering to himself.

AJ caught sight of his naked frame and stepped away out of respect for him.

Roman just stared with concern when he saw, because Dean had acquired way more scars than before, and some of them looked so bad he almost wondered if they were even fully healed. A sick feeling filled him as he stepped closer, because he could make out words like "broken" and "lost" amongst the scars. It was obvious the marks had all been deliberate and some were in places Dean couldn't reach with a steady hand.  
Deliberate and inflicted by someone else.

Roman had to take a deep breath to calm himself before sitting beside Dean. He was sick to his stomach and absolutely livid, but neither of those feelings would help the situation, so he pushed them aside for the moment.

He took the towel Dean must've been planning to use from the counter, and made to wrap him in it.

"Don't fuckin' touch me!" Dean screamed viciously, shoving Roman away quickly.  
Dean had never once looked at him, he seemed to be far away, and it quickly became evident he wasn't thinking in the present.

"Dean listen to me, I only want to help... Is it okay if I put this towel around you?"

"He's going to pay for it, I swear he is."

Roman felt helpless. He tried again with the towel, but this time instead of touching Dean, he only laid the towel around his shoulders slowly.

Feeling it made Dean shudder but soon one of his trembling hands was grasping the edges of it with a death grip.

They sat that way for what felt like forever, Roman listening to his mutters and breaths with no way to help, aside from just being next to him repeating comforting words gently.

Eventually Dean's breathing evened out mostly, and he was silent. He had pulled the towel tighter around himself and was shaking a lot less, though he still hadn't truly acknowledged Roman's presence.  
Roman didn't mind that though. He simply watched him patiently as he calmed.

Dean let himself fall sideways so that he was leaned against Roman, and finally, with relief Roman wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Dean was weeping into him and Roman whispered reassurances into his wild, now mostly dried hair. Whatever had upset him must've been bad.

Suddenly Roman's phone buzzed against his leg, causing Dean to startle. Roman swore and threw it out the bathroom.   
Seth Rollins was the last person on earth he wanted to talk to at the moment and he didn't need a phone going off while Dean was just calming down.

He softly stroked Dean's arm and soothed,  
"No one's going to hurt you. You're safe now."

Dean's body relaxed against his and it seemed the tears were over.

He offered gently, "Wanna talk about it or no?"

He felt Dean shake his head a little.

"Alright. Just know that I'm here, okay?"

A soft "okay." was all he got in response, but he was glad for whatever he could get. And even more so that at least it wasn't a negative one.

He sensed that Dean was beginning to realize something wasn't right, and while it hurt to see him go through that, it gave Roman hope.

Though, it would be hard for him to keep a neutral appearance. All he wanted to do was hunt down Bray Wyatt and rip him to pieces for what he'd done. But he couldn't show Dean that. He already knew that the worst part would be watching Dean ache for the very one who had done this to him.

Dean had once told him about abuse he'd suffered as a child...

He'd explained the way you could love someone even as they were tearing you down. How there was always a reason for what they did, how incredible your mind could be at twisting truths and creating ones that looked better to you. Truths you refused to believe were lies simply because you so desperately needed them. They became so real that you believed them with every fiber of your being.

And when you couldn't see a reason why, you still trusted that person so much that you would take it all without question, knowing they wouldn't let harm come to you unless it was necessary. And in the end they'd fix it and things would be better. It'd be worth it, you'd see.

But the worst came when you found out the truth. The  _real_ truth.  
The truth that they'd known what they were doing to you the whole time. That they'd meant every bit of it to happen. That maybe they did love you, just not enough. The truth that they chose something else over you, and you would never know why. You'd forever ask yourself what you'd done wrong, try to retrace the steps, only to become frustrated when you couldn't find your mistake. And no one would tell you so, but there was no mistake along your path for you to find. You'd done everything right. It just wasn't enough...

And then there was the way that, even after it was all said and done, after the truth was revealed and you knew what had really been happening... There was still love.  
It was a love you hated, one you dragged behind you simply because you couldn't let go of it. A love you knew was wrong, yet it continued to linger.

Roman knew Dean would have to go through that yet again if everything went according to plan, and it made him furious.  
His only option would be to be by Dean's side through it all, even just to show him that not all love was bad.

It really wasn't anything new then... Dean had needed that all along. Roman had never mentioned it to him, but he could tell Dean craved it. He craved love and a family that wouldn't wind up hurting him.

This time Roman was determined to give him just that.

* * *

 -Seth: AJ what's going on would you just give the phone back to Roman?-

-Roman: No!-

-Roman: Listen, you two-toned sellout, he's /busy/-

-Roman: What part of that is unclear? Or did all that bleach go to your brain?-

-Seth: …I can tell you hang around Dean too much-

-Seth: At least tell me what happened.-

Seth exhaled anxiously.

-Seth: Please.-

He'd heard Dean screaming from the other room. What worried him was that he recognized it. The only other times Seth had heard that sound was during the really rough nights that used happen every now and then. The nights when Dean would wake up in fits and would be left too shaken to go back to sleep. They'd hold him and talk about mindless things until Roman would drift off, snoring softly. Seth would pretend not to be tired, as they laughed and joked until dawn, when Dean's body would win against his mind and he would fall into a heavy sleep, just as the sun rose.

-Roman: *sigh*-

-Roman: Dean started having some sort of real bad panic attack and Roman went to calm him down. Took a while but he seems a lot better-

Seth frowned.

-Seth: Did something trigger it?-

-Roman: Not sure. He was in the shower and next thing we know he's an emotional wreck on the floor-

-Roman: He kept repeating things about making Wyatt pay.

-Roman: He screwed Dean up bad. I only caught a glimpse but it was enough to see he'd had no kindness for him-

A twisting feeling came over Seth's stomach as he read the words. He'd done awful things to Dean before and loved every minute of it, but this was different.

-Seth: Damn. Worse than his face?-

-Roman: By far.-

Maybe it was getting to him because he knew Dean had told Roman he  _wanted_  to be with Bray, even after everything he'd put him through, maybe it was something else. 

-Seth: Thanks AJ-

He wasn't sure he wanted to hear any more.

If he'd asked himself if he'd take pleasure in Dean's struggle before it'd happened, he probably would've said yes without missing a beat. But now that he was facing it, he wasn't enjoying it one bit. It was twisted, whatever Bray had done to him. And even with as much hate as he carried for Dean, he couldn't seem to relish the moment like he thought he should've.

At least when he was the one screwing Dean over, he had control. He knew exactly how to hurt Dean to a specific point. Looking over the ledge of his breaking point... they'd teeter on it, and Seth would pull him back just before he could fall, only so he could hurt him some more. It was a practiced dance they'd learned over years of knowing each other.  
But was this really any different?

Seth wondered if Dean was on the other side of that ledge now.

_Roman will carry him through it, he's helped Dean so much already._

Seth was sure of it without a single doubt.

_They don't need you._

* * *

 It'd been about an hour since Dean was finally able to leave the bathroom floor and get dressed. Roman had given him a different shirt to wear instead of the one he'd had on since he'd last seen Bray. He'd also given him a hoodie because Dean kept eyeing the scars littering his arms and Roman thought it better just to cover them.

The incident had left him drained and he ended up passing out on the couch when Roman left the room to get his phone from AJ.

Roman wanted to prop him more comfortably against a pillow, but he knew better than to touch him when he was asleep. So instead he carefully sat next to Dean and watched deep breaths evenly move his chest. It was nice to finally see him looking peaceful.  
He was so exhausted that he didn't even budge when Roman's phone went off, causing him to practically jump off the couch.

_I'm going to strangle you Rollins._

He made for the front door, taking the call as he stepped outside.

"Rollins I swear I'm going to strangle you."

The only appropriate way to answer obviously.

"Reigns?" The voice didn't belong to Seth, though it was one he recognized. Professional, yet menacing. He checked his phone to make sure he was hearing right.

"Triple H."

"Look Reigns, I'm not going to waste time here, is Rollins not with you?"

Roman said nothing.

So Seth hadn't been in contact with The Authority. Surely Triple H was angry, but did Seth not hope to go back to them?

"I see." Hunter said darkly.

Roman shut his eyes in thought.

"What exactly is it you want?"

He wasn't sure what exactly it was he willing to do honestly, but it couldn't hurt hear Hunter out at least.

"I want Rollins. Pretty simple, really."

It never was, Roman knew that much.

"Why would-"

"Listen, I don't have time for-"

"No,  _you_  listen." Roman was getting mad now, "I want the all of the details before I make any kind of decision. If I make a deal with you, it'll be on  _my_  terms."

"The safety of your  _precious Dean Ambrose_  is on the line, here. So I  _suggest_  you play by my rules."

Roman stiffened, cursing in his head as everything else left it.

"Go on."

"Give me Rollins, and I'll keep Wyatt distracted. You know he's hunting for Ambrose, right? It won't be long now..."

Roman wanted to hit something.

_Why can't Bray just leave him alone?_

"How do I know he won't rat us out once you get 'im?" Roman questioned with suspicion.

"You're forgetting I have no use for Ambrose. Besides, once it's all said and done, Rollins will want to put this whole mess behind him."

Roman shifted his weight.

"We leave for the bus stop tonight. I'll text you the address."

"We'll be there."

* * *

 Roman quietly entered the house again, typing a message to AJ about the plan. It wouldn't be a good idea to speak it out loud, just in case.

Dean was still curled up on the couch, asleep. A blanket had been draped over him and he looked a bit more comfortable than before.

"Y'know, he may as well just sleep there tonight. I don't think he's going to wake up any time soon..."

AJ smiled, looking at Dean as she spoke softly.

"Well he did have a tough night  _and_  morning. He needs all the rest he can get."

Roman remembered what Triple H had said about Bray coming for Dean. While he figured the distraction he'd be running into would find him soon enough, he wasn't about to start taking chances while they were unconscious.

"Once I get back I'll carry him to his room."

They watched as Dean stirred just a little.

"We make a good little family don't we?" AJ whispered with a smile.

Roman laughed quietly,

"Yeah, we do."


	4. Reckless Abandon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey everyone! It's been a while and I apologize for that. I had to step back from this story for a little bit due to mental health reasons...  
> That sort of brings me to my next point which is that I have made a blog over on tumblr, and I may talk more about what happened on there.  
> If you want to connect with me over there, look for harlem-marxx ...shouldn't be too hard to find me, haha. I'd love to hear from you :)
> 
> Anyways I hope you all like this chapter, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support!  
> Enjoy!

Seth pulled the hood of the jacket Roman had just given him up over his hair. Roman told him he'd want it because it was chilly out but really Seth just hoped it would help him blend in with everyone else.

"Roman I-"

Roman shoved a small bag that held what few belongings Seth now had, against his chest roughly.

Seth huffed in frustration. He'd waited patiently for Roman to come to the bedroom so they could talk, but Roman wouldn't let him get a single word in. Every time Seth tried, the man would either ask him something about packing, or simply say "not now." On the one hand, Seth was thankful for the things Roman had thrown together for his travels with the knowledge Seth had brought nothing, but on the other hand he really wished Roman would just sit down and listen. Besides, didn't he deserve it for waiting once already?

He opened his mouth to speak again, and yet again was interrupted.

"Let's go." Roman prompted, opening the bedroom door without any further warning.

"I really-" Seth's voice was caught in his throat suddenly at the sight of his former brother asleep on the couch, as calm as can be.

Roman could be seen raising a finger over his own lips to hush Seth, but Seth only had eyes for Dean in that moment. He looked a little less pale, and while he still had shadows under his eyes, they were no longer so dark.

Seth's feet took him closer and he just stopped, staring.

It was that moment, really seeing Dean up close for the first time since June, that something hit him.  
Suddenly it wasn't about manipulating Roman to let him stay until he figured out what to do about Triple H. It no longer felt like a scheme to get to the top, or a game he could win by being cunning…

It was about his Shield brothers.

And it wasn't that they needed him or anything he could bring, no.

It was that, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, how much he absolutely hated Dean sometimes, or how much broken trust laid between him and the others.

 _He_  needed _them._

He didn't just need them as refuge once the Authority caught up to him. He needed the friendship, the late nights spent talking their fears away, the road trips full of petty arguments, the loving arms around him when he felt like a failure, the laughter that seemed to become of almost all of their conversations, the brotherhood he'd destroyed.

He needed everything he'd thrown away.

He truly needed them.

Frozen, he stood there as it all came crashing down in front of him, though suddenly somehow all of the pieces seemed to fit.

Roman's hand tugged him by the arm until he moved again. He was contemplating how best to explain himself to Roman even as he got in the car.

He'd only have one shot at this.

"So, you gonna tell me what the hellyou want or not?"

"Yeah. Uh, I know I haven't exactly earned this but do you think you could hear me out for a minute? Like,  _really listen?"_

"Seth, I'm listening. Just say it already." Roman said as they began down the dirt road.

Seth exhaled heavily.

"Okay, well I've been thinking... These past few days have been a whirlwind. The whole thing with Bray and Dean, I hadn't planned to even do anything about it to begin with... But then we did it together for Dean and- I don't know... It was almost like we were the Shield again."

He could see Roman stiffen at his mention of the Shield, as he paused to think.

"I guess before, I didn't take the time to look back, or either I just didn't want to because I knew if I did, I'd realize my mistake."

Roman's eyes were fixed on the road intensely.

"What I'm trying to say is that you and Dean were the best thing to ever happen to me. I was an idiot to think I would be happier with the Authority... and I just-"

He took a shaky breath, realizing he hadn't ever actually said it, and the words hitched in his throat, making him feel choked by them for a moment before they all came out at once.

"I'm sorry, Roman. I'm sorry for ruining everything, I'm sorry for hurting you two, I'm sorry for abandoning you- I'm  _so fucking sorry."_

Once he'd said the first one, the rest just kept spilling out.

He bit his lip and regained enough composure to continue.

"You don't have to forgive me, or take me back, or even believe me. I just need you to hear me. Because I can't pretend you don't matter to me any longer."

Roman's hands were clenched around the steering wheel tightly, his hard eyes where focused on the road ahead. It was a little while before he spoke.

"Seth I can't, you know I can't. Even if I wanted to forgive you, Dean needs me." He shook his head a bit, "He can't go through it again. If you'd seen what it'd done to him... It was horrible, Seth. I honestly didn't know if he was going to pull through it. It took him months just to let me back in.  _Months._  And I didn't even do anything. His trust is so frail and I'm going to fight for it with everything I've got. He needs someone to prove that trust can last. AJ and I are going to do our best to do that, but there's no room for you in our lives anymore."

He took a breath before finishing, "I appreciate the things you're saying I guess, but it's too late for them and honestly they're just words to me now."

Seth was quiet. He'd known Roman wouldn't take him back, but something about hearing it out loud, hurt so much more.

Roman gave him a side glance when he didn't respond.

"I understand. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest at least."

Seth looked out the window instead, wishing things could've been different but knowing there was no way for that now. It was just something that happened when you burned your bridges as carefully as he had. He'd meant for them not to be repairable when he'd done it. He sure had done a good job of that. There was no going back.

Roman sniffed and turned on the radio.

Seth didn't even notice himself fading to the radio's quiet sounds, and the gentle motion of the car, until he was woken by their absence.

* * *

Seth blinked and looked around.

Roman was no longer next to him, and out the window he saw darkness and old street lamps that cast an orange glow over everything. A brick building stood across from him, lined with several old buses. He wondered which he'd be taking, and where he'd be going... It wasn't something he'd brought himself to decide on beforehand.

He hesitated a moment before getting out of the car, his bag in hand.

Roman probably went to use the restroom but even if he'd gone somewhere else, it wouldn't be hard to find him, as they were the only ones around.

Seth wandered to the inside of the bus station. Just like the exterior, it had an outdated appearance overall.

He examined the route options for a second, until Roman came to stand behind him.

"Sleep well, little skunk?"

Seth rolled his eyes which landed on Roman with a death glare.

Roman smirked and then turned serious again, "Can we talk a minute before you go?"

Seth squinted at the route listing. None of them sounded particularly desirable.

"Yeah, sure. I'm in no hurry."

Roman motioned for Seth to follow as he stepped into the night air.

He led the way to a bench, off to the side of the building that allowed for privacy from the station workers.

"Look, I know we've been through a lot these past few days... Or past months, really."

Seth waited as Roman took a deep breath and seemed to find his words again,

"Dean's not- the same as he used to be... And I don't think it'd be very fair to treat him like he's someone he isn't anymore."

Seth nodded slightly, in agreement. He understood that already. Wasn't it sort of a given?

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what happens, please don't take it out on him, alright?"

"I don't understand. Take what out on him?"

"Seth-"

Suddenly Seth was grabbed from behind and violently thrown down onto the sidewalk.

"Ah!"

Randy Orton sneered as he leaned down to rip Seth up again by his hair.

"This." He hissed closely in Seth's face.

Kane quickly got behind Seth and pinned his arms behind him tightly. Seth yelled and fought but it didn't seem to do much. They'd already gotten a hold on him and there was no breaking it by himself.

Triple H, who was standing in front of him now, glared dangerously until he turned to Roman.

"Good job Reigns-"

"Roman how could you?" Seth screamed before having the wind knocked out of him by Orton, who was enjoying it more than he should've been.

Seth winced and clenched his teeth but his eyes stayed on Roman, who wouldn't look at him.

Seth didn't understand, he thought things were getting better between them.

"Just keep up your end of the deal, okay." Roman ground out to Triple H who smiled a little.

"Don't you worry. Wyatt will be out of your way for quite a while..."

"Then we're done here." Roman's eyes fell on Seth for only a moment.

Seth internally cursed the man's ability to hide what he was feeling, but even more so when a flash of sympathy, was it?, slipped through.

Seth silently pleaded with his brother.

_Please_

He was no longer fighting, why should he when all they'd do is beat him until he no longer could? So he simply stared at Roman desperately in question.

No response. Roman just turned and walked away. Not a word, not a second glance, nothing.

* * *

"I'm back," Roman called out as he entered the house. He had stopped by the store on his way home just so Dean wouldn't question it, and to take some time to get a grip on the slew of emotions he was feeling.  
After putting the few things he'd picked up away, and pulling out the pack of gum he'd bought with Dean's anxious habit in mind, he went to Dean's room where he could hear AJ laughing.

"Hey Roman!" Dean said, laying some of the playing cards in his hand down.

"Bam, another match." He laughed.

"What are we playing?"

"Go fish. Dean's kicking my butt."

"You two are such kids," Roman chuckled at them, to which AJ stuck out her tongue. Dean only laughed. It was really good to see him relaxed and playing silly games like he used to. The way his face lit up when tossed the pack of gum also gave Roman hope.

"You're a saint Rome. You have no fucking idea."

Roman chuckled at his enthusiasm over such a simple vice.

"Hey, you want in?" Dean offered only half-jokingly before AJ laid her cards down, "I want out."

"Oh come on AJ, don't be a sore loser!" He grinned cockily.

"Ha! I wasn't  _for the past eight games!"_

They laughed a bit before AJ stood and stretched.

"I'm gonna turn in for the night. Don't do anything crazy while I'm gone." She eyed Roman warningly. She must've still been worried about him sleeping in the room with Dean.

"Don't worry, we won't." He replied, returning a look.

Once she was gone and Dean had put the cards and gum away, they both sat.

Roman looked at him closely.

"How are you? You were totally out when I left."

Dean shrugged, fingers fiddling with the blanket under them.

"Woke up and didn't feel like going back to sleep."

Roman knew why. Dean sometimes went through spells of avoiding sleep, the last time it'd gotten bad was around Seth's betrayal.

Roman gave him a sympathetic look.

"Y'know, if you want, I could sleep here too so you don't have to be alone..."

Dean didn't say anything. He seemed to be thinking it over, and a hand absentmindedly moved to stroke a scar around his wrist.

"That sounds nice actually. But... do you think we could keep some space between us for now? I'm not- ready." He settled with the word, a little awkwardly.

Roman felt his rage boiling inside of him again. Bray messing with Dean while he slept was not something he wanted to think about, though he had to wonder.

"Of course, anything you need. And if I make you uncomfortable at all I want you to tell me."

Dean nodded a little and then muttered something about not even knowing what made him comfortable or not anymore.

"Dean it's okay, you're just discovering new triggers is all. You're still you."

Dean shrugged again.

"I guess. But sometimes I just feel so confused and lost in my own skin, y'know?"

"You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head.

"That's just it... There's nothing to say. Bray healed me, Roman. He showed me how instead of fighting my demons, I could use them..."

He looked Roman dead-on.

"He understands me. He knows what I've been through… knows what it feels like."

Dean ran a hand through his hair in distress.

"But... a part of me feels so lost sometimes. I think I've been ignoring it all this time, but recently it seems to keep coming back."

This time it was Roman who shook his head a little, "No, I don't know what he told you, but you don't need to be healed, you've never been sick or broken..." Roman's mind went to the horrible scars reinforcing those very words into Dean's flesh.

"You know how Bray is… Those things he said aren't true, Dean."

 

"No, it's okay. I know now, I was broken-"

"Stop it. Don't say things like that."

"Why not? It's all true Roman, don't you lie to me." Dean's voice rose as he grew frustrated.

"Hey, calm down," he began sternly. "I'm not lying… I'm just telling you what I know. Or at least the way I see things."

He could tell by the look on Dean's face that he was past listening, but he felt it was important to say nonetheless.

"To me you are Dean. That's it. You've always been just as you should be."

"Whatever. Forget it."  
Dean was slightly annoyed but seemed fine otherwise as he waved Roman away.

It was difficult not knowing Dean as well as he used to... He didn't know what was and wasn't okay to talk about anymore. It was like starting all over again, only this Dean had an edge to him- not that the old one couldn't be described that way- but this was a different kind of edge.

His voice was softer when he spoke again,  
"I don't mean start a fight or whatever… I'm just sick of people beating around the bush with me."

"It's fine. I'm sorry if I said something wrong..."

Really Roman wasn't worried one bit about speaking against Bray's influence, but knowing it had bothered Dean made him cautious.

Dean simply waved him away, as if to say "no big deal" so Roman moved to sit next to him against the wall.

Dean slid down so that he was lying on the bed, one arm propping his head up.

"How've  _you_ been?"

Roman raised his eyebrows at Dean. They didn't usually talk about those things unless they had to or unless it was an immediate crisis.

"What are we, preteen girls at a slumber party?"

Dean smirked at the remark before playfully punching Roman's shoulder,

"Hey cut me some slack, I haven't seen you in a little while."

"I know, I know." Roman smiled a bit.

"Um... I've been alright, I guess. Just taking it day by day, really. Trying not to miss you... and him."

Dean's body stiffened slightly and a familiar look came over his face. A look of hatred and despair all in one.

They'd talked about it before, the way they both deeply hated Seth but could never really stop missing him. They'd talked about it once and never again.

Roman had actually begun wondering if Dean had gotten past that since the discussion, he knew better than to ask though.

"You deserve to do what you want, regardless of anyone else... It's just something I'm going to have to work through."

Dean laid his head down flat so that he was looking up at the ceiling, and took a deep breath. His eyes wandered for a little while, like he was thinking of what to say. The words never came and slowly his eyes drifted shut. Over and over again he would reopen them, trying to fight it, before sleep finally overtook him.

Roman pulled the blanket gently over him. He felt a little guilty that Dean was still in jeans, they couldn't be comfortable to sleep in, but he knew Dean had never cared about that sort of thing before, why bother him with it now?

He moved himself to lie next to his brother.

Dean had shifted onto his side, which allowed Roman one last look at his relaxed features before he cut the lights off.

In the dark, he listened to Dean's heavy but steady breaths. The sound only made him want to be that much closer. Roman wished he could wrap his arms around him and hold him until morning.

It'd been so long and felt like even longer. Dean had been missing and Roman didn't know if he'd ever see him again. It would all run through his mind during the night, leaving him unable to sleep. He would think of every detail, what he wished he could do to take in each and every one, and to show Dean how loved he was.

It'd keep him up night after night, how much he missed Dean.

And here he was and Roman couldn't even lie against him.

He was of course thankful to even have Dean there at all, he just wished there was more he could do- though in the full reality of things, he'd just really missed him.

He was grateful for every quiet breath however, and he listened to them in the dark.

It was like all the other nights were background noise covered by the sweet sound of his safety. All the nights filled with worry, pain, regret, panic, guilt... He felt a load of it being lifted off his shoulders.

Though, the main one he'd really struggled with since the abduction was the guilt. It still seemed to echo every event since. Every struggle Dean came upon, every look of terror, every mark upon his body, every time he seemed ready to just give up and run away... It was all Roman's fault to some degree.

_I should've been there. I should've known. I should've paid more attention. I should've been there for him._

But "should haves" never changed a thing and the guilt never left him.

In a way, he almost felt like he had two brothers' problems to feel guilty for. How had it come to that?

Though he liked to think it was just Rollins' life catching up to him. Seth had broken Dean and left him for Bray to have his way with, it only made sense for it to come back around full circle.

He just questioned his decision now that he'd witnessed the Authority's brutality towards Seth. He knew Seth would get through it and things would be okay again for him, but Roman hadn't realized just how bad it'd be. If that was how they treated him standing outside of a bus station, what would they do in private?

The thought did nothing to help his guilt.  
Though, it wasn't like Roman had had much of a choice… his hand had been forced. There was no way he could've risked Dean's safety. In his state, who knew if he'd recover if Bray got ahold of him again.

Not allowing his mind to go down that dark path, Roman took a breath and closed his eyes to sleep.

_Dean isn't going anywhere. He's right here, safe and sound._

* * *

_A feeling of unease. Not the kind he could ignore, but the kind that made him want to curl up into himself and hide away until it passed. If it ever did._

_It made him want run until it was too far to feel._

_It made him genuinely terrified._

_Something was wrong but he didn't know what. Darkness and the lull of a voice, calming but sinister..._

Dean's body jerked and he awoke in a cold sweat.

Motionless.

He didn't dare move, only his chest, heaving from the shaky breaths it expelled.

He blinked and let his eyes focus on Roman's unconscious face.

The uneasiness wasn't real. The voice could not reach him. He was okay.

It'd been a few days since they'd been sleeping that way and he'd thought things were getting better. He really thought they were, until that night in particular.

Letting his eyes close again, he exhaled heavily and slid his hand into Roman's.

Roman's fingers squeezed weakly in his sleep, but he must've known it was Dean.

_Darkness and the lull of a voice, smooth and wicked._

_Something was wrong._

_A hand roughly yanked his head up by his hair so that each word was felt upon his face._

_"The Shield... was all about justice wasn't it?" a short laugh hit warmly against his skin._

_"But that didn't really seem to work out for you did it? No, you never got what it was you deserved... But see, that's why I'm here..."_

_He was yanked above the table now, a gasp escaping him as he was held up by his throat now._

_"I'm here to show you what justice is... Make you_ feel _it. And until you understand I will not leave you!"_

_The words were screamed into his face just before he was thrown back against the wooden surface._

_Almost instantly, a blade was ripping through his chest in planned but haphazard motions._

_The strong scent of blood and the anguished sound of his own screams filled the air._

* * *

Screaming, Dean bolted up in bed. His hands raked through his hair desperately before he folded over onto himself, gasping and shaking.

"Dean, Dean! It's okay, listen to me, it's okay." Roman moved to cradle Dean in his arms, though he did so with caution until Dean began to lean into it.

"Shhh, just breathe. You're safe. It's okay, you're safe."

He could feel Dean shake his head a bit against his chest.

"I promise you, you're safe now."

Dean pulled away slowly, just enough to look up at Roman.

_Damn, he's shaken up._

"How do you know that?"

The question took him by surprise. What exactly was it he thought Dean was afraid of?

"Well, tell me what we're up against."

Dean nuzzled into his chest again. This was a side of Dean that only Roman and Seth had ever seen, and even that was extremely rare.

"I don't know... I can't remember."

He took a big shaking breath, obviously trying to control it as it came out.

"I'm scared, and I don't even know why."

"Breathe." He pulled Dean back a little.

"Dean." he sternly said and held Dean against him again when he heard the deep breath. "It's okay, it happens."

"But this was  _so real._  I could swear it was. If it hadn't all faded as soon as I woke, I'd believe it happened, but I don't even know what 'it' was."

"Shh, just try not to over think it alright?"

Dean nodded into his shoulder, still taking deep breaths to calm himself.

They fell asleep for a few more hours until dawn, Roman holding him closely, reminding him he was safe.


	5. Distortion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry the updates have continued to be slow... All is well, I've just been super busy as of late. But here it is, chapter five! :D  
> As always, thank you all so much for your support! Your reviews especially always make me smile :')
> 
> Enjoy!

The two men awoke to a knock at the door.

"Rome? Dean? Breakfast is ready when you are!" AJ called to them.

"We're coming," Roman hollered back while Dean chucked his pillow across the room, towards the door.

"Screw that, I could sleep another year or two."

Roman laughed as he sat and looked at Dean whose eyes were now hidden behind his own arm.

Dean must've felt Roman's eyes on him, because after a moment or two, he lifted his arm just enough to peek back at Roman.

"What?" He asked curiously, his eyebrows knitting together slightly.

"I don't know, just missed you." Roman made sure to say it fondly rather than accusingly.

Dean groaned dramatically.

"Rome, you know it's too early for you to be saying sappy shit like that."

He feigned annoyance, but Roman spotted one of his dimples just before he sat up and rubbed his face in his hands.

Roman stopped on his way to the door and put a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You can go on out there or to the bathroom or whatever, I'm gonna go get you some more stuff to wear from my room."

"Cool. Thanks, man."

* * *

After using the bathroom, Dean stalled, messing with his hair a little while so he could have a moment alone.

He felt defeated in having to set limits for Roman and himself ever since they started sharing a bed, but honestly it was the only way he would've been able to actually rest peacefully. Well, until he acted on impulsive desperation following a nightmare at least.

It wasn't that he expected violence from Roman during the night, it was the opposite actually. As much as he hated to admit it, part of him feared letting himself be held close and loved. Every single time he'd let someone close, he ended up suffering for it.

_"Shhh quiet now, dear sweet boy. I told you I won't let harm come to you... Don't you believe me?"_

_Powerful arms hugged around his midsection with enough force to hold him there, not that he was going to move anyway. A hand slid up him to gently brush away the hair that'd fallen over his eye before its fingers wrapped hard over his shoulder, gripping him and keeping his back against Bray._

_"Of course," he said softly as if he were afraid someone else would hear him in the darkness instead of just Bray. His breathing had slowed considerably and the nightmare seemed to be fading from his mind little by little._

_He was thankful Bray didn't care about the cold sweat he was drenched in._

_Small kisses were slowly placed upon the back of his neck, sending a small shudder down his spine. He felt Bray's mouth hesitate and pull up in a little grin against his skin before the man laughed quietly at his discomfort and continued._

This is safety, _he reminded himself._

_Bray was in control. In Bray's grasp, he couldn't screw up. He'd be safe as long as he didn't stray._

_"Tell me you won't leave me, Dean. Promise me. Promise me your life."_

_Dean shut his eyes as another shudder ran through him at the feel of Bray's breath across his neck._

_"You owe it to me Dean, you owe me this, you owe me everything you have- everything you are. You're mine Dean, you understand me?"_

_And he wasn't sure why he said it, or if he wanted to, or if he even meant it- but the words came nonetheless,_

_"I will always be yours, Bray."_

* * *

It wasn't hard to find shirts for Dean once Roman was in his room. But the task instantly brought thoughts of Seth to mind.

Seth had been wearing Roman's shirt when he'd left him. The Authority was not going to let that one slide easily.

They were clearly going to rough him up a good bit before hearing anything he had to say, but as far as major concerns went, Roman had reasoned with the idea that Seth had always been a good talker and would surely be able to win them back over, one way or another.

 _Shouldn't this feel good?_  
  
He remembered the look on Seth's face before he'd turned away.

Hurt, fear, shock, betrayal.

A lot of the same things Roman had felt after being hit in the back with the steel chair...

It was ironic and should've been thoroughly enjoyable for that reason. But for some reason, it just wasn't. No one deserved what Seth had done to him and Dean, and while Seth deserved a hell of a lot of things, it wasn't that.

And on top of the emotions Roman was already struggling with, of course Seth had to go and make the entire situation worse.  
He had apologized. After months of Roman aching for those words, and then months convincing himself he'd never hear them... Seth had done it.

He didn't even deserve a chance to make things right again. Roman knew he didn't. Yet he couldn't help but worry about how Seth had taken his response... It made him mad that he couldn't hate Seth the way he liked to think he did. He guessed Dean wasn't the only one who was capable of dragging love around begrudgingly.

He had to admit, he hated Seth a little for his horrible timing, but he knew how Seth was with these things. He was lucky to get the apology at all.  
He knew how fragile Seth's ego really was and how rare it was for him to admit his mistakes to others.

And while he was glad to hear the words, even if he was well past waiting for them, there was no way he would take Seth back.

Like he'd said, they didn't need him. There was no room for sell outs in their little group.

Not like they'd want him anyway, he could be sort of unbearable at times.

The way he would get uptight about little things, how he thought he could tell Roman what to do despite the fact that Roman was twice his size, the stupid way he did his two-toned hair, that annoying laugh he did when he thought something was really funny...

_Ugh._

Roman couldn't stand him.

But even more than that, he couldn't stand how much he missed him.

He rubbed his face with his free hand, cursing quietly at himself.

"Knock knock."

He looked up to see Dean standing in the doorway with a questioning look.

"Just tired still." Roman stood with his armful of clothes and made to exit the room.

Dean followed with a grimace,  
"I'm sorry, man."

"Hey, no. Don't you dare apologize. Why do you think I offered to stay with you in the first place?"

"Yeah, I know... But it's gotten worse again."

"So what? You think I'm gonna bail now?"

"I mean, I wouldn't blame you..."

"Not gonna happen. Dean, I'm not going to leave you to go through this alone. I want to help."

Dean smiled a little in appreciation to which Roman tousled his hair.

After leaving the clothes in Dean's room, and with Dean wearing a fresh shirt, they sat in the kitchen to join AJ.

AJ knew better than to ask how the night went, at least in front of Dean. So instead she mused about the match she was leaving for that day.

Since Roman had been on leave due to his injury, it kept him from the work responsibilities that AJ had to maintain.

He didn't quite know how Dean had gotten away like he had... It was sort of like an assumed leave of absence after he'd been taken by Bray.

It made Roman angry that the Wyatts could get away with things like that simply because the higher-ups were too afraid to really cross them. Though at least it granted Roman time with Dean, without having to worry about his career falling apart thanks to his disappearance.

Roman tried to pay attention to the conversation that the other two were having, but it didn't last long once Dean seemed to get distracted by something AJ had said somewhere along the line.

He wasn't making comments anymore and had stopped nodding at the things she was saying.

She must've noticed too because she seemed to subtly cut her story short, ending by standing.

"Well, I'd better get packed up."

She put a hand on Dean's shoulder and he looked up at her.

"You alright?"

He made a face that seemed to question why she would ask that, though he clearly knew he'd not been focused on the things around him.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm glad." AJ said with a smile, before leaving for her room.

Roman waved as she left and then he turned back to Dean, whose leg was bouncing restlessly as it often did.

"I was thinking if you want, we could take a walk around the forest later... I know you can't stand being cooped up for too long."

"That sounds amazing. I'm kinda getting sick of being surrounded by this fuckin' old lady wallpaper."

Roman laughed a bit and jokingly pointed a finger at Dean,  
"Watch it, boy. This place was a good deal, okay?"

"Probably because whoever inherited it just wanted to get rid of it. Seriously, it screams 'grandma.'"

They both laughed.

"Anyway, would you mind if I shower first? I need a refresher after last night..."

"Go for it, bro. I've got nowhere to be."

Roman honestly sort of wished he wouldn't, just because he knew there was a chance Dean would be reminded of whatever had triggered him the last time, but there was no way Roman was going to deny him something so basic.

The shower took Dean longer than it used to and Roman wondered if it was hard for him to face his scarred body. He'd never had an issue with his appearance, no matter how rough he looked, and Dean wasn't careful when it came to his body. Yet this was different. The way he couldn't stop looking at the words down his arms, it broke Roman to see him actually bothered by it.

Especially knowing that in some twisted way, Bray had gotten him not to be resentful or even fearful over it.

It made Roman's blood boil.

Trying not to think about it, he ended up taking the time Dean was gone as an opportunity to talk to AJ privately.

He knocked lightly on her door and she told him to come in. She was folding clothes and stacking them in her bag neatly.

"He's not okay," she said plainly.

"Mhm. Well, he had a tough night... Woke up in terror again, screaming. It was bad, how scared he was, Bray really fucked him up."

"If he shows up, I swear I'm gonna hurt him."

Roman smiled a little at her enthusiasm.  
"As much as I wish you would, it's probably better if he doesn't know you're in on this."

"You're right." She frowned.

A couple of silent moments passed before she smirked up at him.

"What?" he asked because she was obviously thinking something.

"Did you cuddle?"

"What- AJ, c'mon. It's not like that."

"Hey, I'm not judging. It's freaking adorable!" She remarked, beaming at him excitedly.

Roman rolled his eyes playfully at her giggles.

"Only you AJ, only you."

"Well you can't deny it." She winked at him, grinning a while before sobering again.  
"But anyway, do y'think you two will be okay while I'm gone? I mean I know he  _seems_  fine, but last time he just sort of snapped suddenly."

"Even if he does, I'll be able to handle it... And if I have to, I can take him down on my own." He replied darkly.

AJ nodded.  
"Just be careful about how you do things. We have no clue what he's been through."

"I wish he'd just tell us. Though he doesn't seem to think Bray did anything wrong to him, and it pisses me off.

"I know. I wonder if he's suppressing the memories."

"I'm sure some of them, but how does he reason past the crap ton of scars covering his entire body? You can't exactly ignore fucking words _carved into your skin."_

"I have no clue. Unless he did it to himself..."

Roman shook his head.

"No, he has some in places he wouldn't be able to reach while maintaining what little precision was used. Plus, the words 'don't stray' across his back are a bit of a giveaway.

AJ, who must not have seen it, swore in angry disbelief.

"Yeah. I just don't get it." Roman said with a grimace as they heard the water turn off from the other room.

AJ shrugged sadly, zipping her bag shut before toting it to the main room.

"Oh! I've been meaning to ask how it went with Rollins..." Her voice was hardly a breath as he followed her into the kitchen to keep Dean from hearing.

Roman sighed heavily.

"Do you want the honest version or the one that makes sense?" he asked flatly, half-hoping she'd ask for the latter.

She looked concerned as she thought about it and answered slowly,

"The honest one, of course."

"It was awful. I don't know if I'd convinced myself he'd go quietly, or that he wouldn't be mad- I mean I didn't think I still cared about those things anyway... But that piece of trash, he apologized on the way there."

"He  _apologized?"_

"Yeah, and he meant it. It wasn't out of desperation like you'd think, he really, genuinely meant it."

"What'd you say back?"

"I told him I couldn't accept it. That Dean has been through enough as it is, and that we're beyond him now."

Roman leaned, checking to make sure the bathroom door was still closed before continuing.

"But I don't think I ever will be beyond him; not completely. I feel so wrong saying that, especially knowing he practically let this happen to Dean, but I can't get around it... Seth's face when they took him, if Dean knew what I'd felt when I saw it, he wouldn't forgive me."

"Roman, listen to me. In the end, why did you leave Seth there?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

She gave him a look that told him just to answer.

"For a lot of reasons..." he made a face, "Okay you're right, I did it for Dean."

"See? You picked Dean over him. That's all that matters."

Roman smiled slightly as her point set in.

"Thanks, AJ. It's just that I wish I could let go already."

"You know Dean hasn't either, right? Every cruel word, every hit... It's all part of Dean's way of holding on. I can tell, the hate he holds onto with everything he's got? At least he's got something to hold onto, right? That's his way of not letting go. He's not going to fault you for yours."

Roman bit his lip trying to think of how to respond, when they heard the door to the bathroom open.

He settled with embracing her gratefully.

Dean must've read it as a parting gesture as he entered the room because as he absentmindedly ruffled a hand through his wet hair, he lazily spoke.

"You leaving already?"

"Yep, I've got a long drive."

She turned, practically hopping, and wrapped her arms around Dean suddenly in a tight hug. He stiffened, with a shocked look on his face, and didn't return the hug.

AJ pulled away quickly like she'd just remembered, and looked worriedly up at Dean.

"Sorry. Too soon?"

Dean had never liked being touched unless he really knew the person. Roman knew he'd seen him hug AJ in the past, so it must've been a new thing, or maybe it was a problem with the way she'd done it. It looked like being careful of how they did things didn't just apply to confrontational situations. AJ was right, they had no idea what he'd been through.

Dean reassured her though, with a hurried, "Don't worry about it."  
There was even a little bit of what looked to be embarrassment in his expression as AJ looked at him guiltily.

They moved into the main room, where her bag was, and said their final goodbyes as she left.

Roman told Dean he wasn't going to let him out into the brisk air until his hair was fully dried, which brought many complaints and snarky input about Roman being "an overprotective mom", and how "he swore he'd keep the jacket zipped all the way up", and how they "could even hold hands if he wanted."

Sometimes Roman thought an overprotective mom was exactly what Dean needed. Someone to make sure he looked after himself and to keep him out of trouble.

Not that Dean would listen anymore to that than he would to Roman... probably less actually.

Though he couldn't help but laugh a little to himself. Dean was recovering more and more of his personality, and he didn't seem as nervous around Roman as he had been at the start. He still seemed somewhat erratic at times, but it was better than when they'd first gotten to him.

Though it was worrisome to wonder why his personality had been so off before. Maybe he'd been intimidated or threatened into it, but that sounded nothing like Dean.  
Roman figured it was just another thing he'd have to wait to find out. Though, he didn't mind, he'd wait patiently as long as it took.

"Rome, can we go  _now?"_

Dean was shaking his hands through his hair for emphasis when Roman looked at him.

"Alright, alright." Roman put down the rag he'd been wiping the counters with. He'd honestly been stalling because part of him worried that if Dean followed AJ out to the car, he'd know what direction to go in to escape.

Though part of him  _was_  concerned about Dean's wellbeing in the cold, so he went with that instead.

He opened the door and motioned for Dean to go first. Following and pulling the door shut behind them, he watched as Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Roman had noticed him looking more pale since before his disappearance, but by the way Dean was acting now made him wonder how much of the outdoors he'd actually seen over the last few months.

They walked down the stairs and made their way into the forest, no direction in mind, just endless woods. There was quite a chill in the air that made Roman glad they'd waited to go out.

Dean probably wouldn't have cared one way or the other, he wandered between the bare trees with a grin on his face as he chattered away about something trivial.

It made Roman smile to see him feeling good. He beamed at Dean, listening to some story about his early wrestling years that he'd already heard before, but he wasn't about to tell Dean that. It comforted him to hear such an old story from a Dean that had been so tampered with.

"Anyway, it was hilarious." he finished with a chuckle before stopping and looking Roman in the eye, "What?"

"Nothing." he smiled.

"Shut up, man." Dean turned to keep walking.

"What? You're all hyped up, it's sort of adorable."

Snorting in disagreement, Dean flipped him off.

Roman just laughed. It felt like old times again, back when things were simpler.

"I'm just glad to see you feeling so good."

"Yeah, after last night..." Dean sat down on a fallen tree, "Man, I don't know. This whole week really."

Roman sat too, pushing a stray hair out of his own face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. We don't have to talk about it."

Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I'm fine."

"But-"

"I'm fine." he ground out. "You both keep acting like I'm going to fall apart at any moment. Seriously though, nothing has changed. I'm just the same as ever."

"I'm sorry, I just know you've been through a lot over the past months and-"

"Oh,  _so what?_  I take a good beating at Hell in a Cell, and you think I'm going to let that stop me? You think that Rollins leaving me with more than a few scars is going to stop me?"

He was up and pacing a bit, clenching his teeth. Roman knew he'd mistakenly set Dean off.

Violently, Dean yanked his jacket sleeve up, and sneered at a word cut deep into his arm.

"Fuckin' Seth Rollins thinks I'm 'broken'? I'll show him what broken really looks like!"

In that moment, Roman swore he felt his heart stop. Surely Dean hadn't said what it'd sounded like he'd said.

"What?" he asked quietly, unable to move. He must've misunderstood him, there was no way.

"I'm gonna make him pay. Rollins will pay for everything he's done."

"Dean- Seth didn't... The scars covering your body, how did they get there?"

Dean whipped around and looked at him like he was being idiotic.

"Didn't you see Hell in a Cell? It was Rollins. Who fuckin' else?" he raged.

"He didn't do that to you."

"I'm not playing around, Roman."

"Neither am I, I promise you it wasn't him."

"Then who the fuck was it? Enlighten me because y'know, you were the one who was actually there to see it- wait... No you weren't, that was me." his voice had turned incredibly sarcastic and bitter as he glared at Roman in annoyance.

Roman stared back, unsure of how to say what he needed to while hurting Dean as little as possible.

"We have proof, it wasn't him. If you don't believe me, I'll show you the tapes." he kept his voice calm, "But I want to know what you remember... because we obviously remember the night very differently."

For a moment Dean seemed to consider denying the request but instead, and with no little agitation at its seemingly pointless nature, he slowly spoke,  
"The match... I remember Seth... Unbearable pain... Bray was suddenly there... I thought the pain would never end... Bray said he could heal me... Said he could fix me. Promised me it'd be the last time I felt-  _broken."_

Dean's words came out evenly as he listed everything, up until the very last one which came out as a whisper.

"No," was a breath he barely let out.

"No," was firmly spoken this time, in disbelief.

 _"He fucking lied to me."_  he was suddenly pacing, shaking a hand out with rage filled energy.

Roman sat and watched helplessly, trying to decide what to say or even if he should say anything at all.

"He promised me- I should've known but I fell right into it." he dug a hand through his hair as he continued.

"Is this what family looks like, Bray?" Screaming the words into the forest, he yanked his other sleeve up roughly to reveal the words there. Furiously he dragged his nails through them.

"Dean," Roman came to where he stood, taking him by the wrists and holding them so that he wouldn't break his own skin.  
"I know you're hurting. And I know you're angry. But please don't do this to yourself."

He pulled Dean into a strong embrace, which he struggled greatly against.

Even with all the affects of Dean's trauma, Roman still knew him well enough to know the difference between when it was time to back off, and the rare times when what he needed was to not be let go of no matter what he did. This was one of those rare times.

He was proved right when Dean finally gave in, letting himself be held. Roman felt him murmur against his chest, "I thought things were finally gonna be okay... Sure, I fought him at first, and I was terrified... But I began noticing things, ways I related to Bray... I found an odd safety there because yeah, we're both fucked up, but at least I wasn't alone in it anymore."  
He took a deep, shaking breath before continuing just as shakily,  
"But sometimes when I look back on things, they aren't all there… It's like- you ever wake up from a dream that you can't remember? It just exists as this feeling of dread and fear that haunts you the whole day... Maybe small things or moments bring it back, but you never really know why... Or when you do remember pieces of it, they don't seem to match up. You know they're supposed to, but you can't tell how. So you take the few pieces you have and the feeling of it all and you store them away together, because you know there's no way you can make sense of it all, and you don't want to try."

Roman didn't speak, taking in what Dean was saying.

"I think he manipulated me into believing it was Seth... I fucking  _trusted him."_

"It's not your fault." Roman soothed.

"But all the things he said about you... I can't believe I listened to him."

"It's okay, Dean. It's over now."

"I'm gonna destroy him. I swear I'm gonna destroy him."

Stroking Dean's arm gently as he held him close, Roman spoke softly into his hair.

"I know. We'll make sure he gets all the justice he deserves."


	6. Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to Raign for being really kind to me :) and for encouraging me to update!

They were silent the whole walk home. By the look on Dean's face, he needed the time to think. Roman respected that, of course, and once in the house he even kept quiet when Dean refused food. He did worry though. Especially when Dean left for the shower a second time that day. He didn't question him on it, he already knew the answer.

Dean had carried the habit from growing up in a dysfunctional home. Before he'd made spending nights out on the streets a habit, when there was no escape from the chaos, he'd hide away under the hot water until it ran cold. It would wash over him as he let his emotions consume him completely. There he'd just fall apart without anyone seeing how incredibly wrecked he was.

Roman would never forget the night he learned it either. It was the night Seth had told Dean he was never his brother and that he'd never even cared about him. Roman knew it'd hit him hard and there was no way, despite Dean's insistence he'd be fine, that he was going to go to bed before seeing that Dean was asleep first.

So he'd sat on his bed, trying to distract himself with a book. The shower's splashing the only sound he could hear until another, more human sound met his ears. It was the sound of an escaped sob. It was something you'd never hear from Dean Ambrose, and yet it'd no doubt come from him.

That was the night he knew Dean wasn't okay.

That was the night he should've known he wouldn't be for a long time.

When Dean finally came to the bedroom, he was wearing the hoodie again and a pair of sweatpants that had been in the stack of clothes Roman had given him that morning.

Roman had waited up for him and was looking at his phone, pretending he wasn't tired. He'd just finished texting AJ and telling her all about Dean's breakthrough, when Dean wordlessly climbed onto the bed. Roman had one hand on the phone, his other arm outstretched to rest on the top of the pillow next to him. Dean moved under his arm and burrowed casually into Roman's side. He felt Dean's arms slide around his middle, as he pulled his free arm around Dean too.

Roman was reminded with guilt, of how he'd held Seth not so long ago. He wondered where Seth was now, and if he'd won the Authority's trust back yet...  
Though they'd been sure to keep Dean from seeing the footage of the confrontation with Seth that had recently aired, Roman had pulled it up online later when he was alone and it'd done nothing to comfort him.

_"Would you like to explain yourself, Rollins?"_

_The tone of Triple H's voice was a bad sign._

_"It was a momentary lapse of judgment, sir." Seth said quietly._

_"Like hell it was!"_

_Nervously, Seth shifted his weight._

_"I_ point blank _told you what would happen! And your response was to defy me_ yet again _and take off with those two ragtag wannabes!"_

_"Yes sir, I know it was a stupid mistake and-"_

_"Oh that doesn't even_ begin _to cover it!"_

The video then cut to Triple H telling Orton and Kane to teach Seth a lesson, and them moving in on him just before it cut out.

_Afterwards, Triple H explained to the crowd that Seth would be away from the WWE until further notice._

Roman felt bad for him but there wasn't much he could do.  
He almost wished he could at least tell Dean that Seth had helped them escape, just because he felt like Seth deserved some credit for not being a total self-centered jerk. And maybe Dean would feel a little more at ease knowing Seth wasn't out to get him. Though Roman knew there was no way he could tell him that without risking the trust between them.

Settling on something else, he asked gently,

"You okay?"

"I will be. Always am."

"You don't have to be, you know..."

He felt Dean shrug against his ribs.

"Always am." he repeated.

Roman wouldn't push him if he didn't want to open up about it.

Dean had never been a man of self-pity by any means and if he could get away with not dealing with emotional issues, he would. And that was often what he did. Roman knew it, it was just important to him that Dean knew he  _could_  talk about it if he needed to.

"I know you are, just offering though."

He put his phone away and turned off the lamp next to the bed.

Then he used both arms to hold Dean as the two of them fell asleep.

* * *

_A strong hand forced his jaw to the side, Bray's eyes were level with his own as they seemed to pierce straight through him._

_Depraved, he spoke with far too much enthusiasm for Dean's liking,_

_"Traitors have differences; in their methods, their motives, their targets, their outcomes... But there is one thing they all have in common, fear. Traitors are just desperate and strategic cowards who hold fear over morals. Now, I'm not a man of moral value... At least not by the standards of most people... But I'm not one to be controlled by fear either. In fact,_ I have control over fear. _I can send it into the minds of others, to torture them until they're ruined."_

_"Tell me, are you afraid now?"_

_A hand stroked his hair slowly. As it neared the bottom, it tangled deep inside and pulled him up so that Bray could whisper in his ear,_

_"You should be."_

* * *

"No, no, no!" Frantic but slurred murmurs woke Roman just barely.

"Please- no!" It turned to something closer to shouting as Dean's unconscious head shaking turned to a struggle to get away.

His eyes shot open and he desperately pushed and kicked himself away from Roman, only just catching himself as he landed hard on the floor.

"Stay away from me!"

He backed himself up against the wall, while still on the floor.

"Please-"

Roman was awake by the time Dean had started fighting against him.

"Dean, it's okay. No one's here to hurt you." With his hands up, Roman was taking slow steps towards him. Getting closer, he could tell Dean wasn't completely aware of his surroundings. His eyes were wide and he wasn't looking at Roman. Next he tucked his knees to his chest and buried his hands in the blonde mess atop his head.

 _Still out,_  Roman thought. It wasn't the first time he'd done something similar, but it'd been quite a while.

Roman repeated gentle reassurances, hoping at least his voice would reach Dean.

As nonthreatening seeming as he could manage, he sat across from Dean and put a hand carefully on his shoulder.

It was shrugged it off forcefully and Dean only dug his hands further into his hair.

Again Roman touched his shoulder, this time shaking him lightly.

He looked up, pushing Roman's hand away with more force than before, and suddenly wakefulness washed over his face along with terror and confusion. His eyes darted around for explanation as he mumbled,

"He's here. He's here for me-"

"Dean, look me in the eye.  _Dean."_

Widened blue eyes met his unblinkingly.

"I'm not gonna let him take you. He's not even going to so much as touch you. Alright?"

"He promised Rome..."

"Yeah and he's a fucking liar, remember?"

Dean shook his head, "No, you don't know Bray like I do. This was  _real."_

"It was a night terror, Dean. Remember how bad you used to get them? That's all it wa-"

"Would you just shut up and listen?" he snapped with annoyance. "This was different. Once he breaks you down, he can get into your head... Manipulate your mind. He can make you see things, can use it to wreak havoc on your sanity, but he can also use it to send a message..."

Roman could feel his anger rising. Dean was a private person, his innermost thoughts were not something he shared with just anyone, so the idea of Bray tearing into his mind as he pleased, made Roman sick.

"This wasn't a night terror. All the nightmares I've been having, Rome I think some of them are memories. And others... are exactly what he wants me to see."

A chill ran down Roman's spine.

"But why would he want to send that kind of message? He doesn't even know you don't want to be found. Right?"

"Well, no. At least, I didn't tell him... But I never said we had a healthy relationship. I mean, we're talking about Bray Wyatt."

Roman cursed quietly.

"Y'know, dismantling someone's mind to a point where they become a brainwashed, compliant shadow of themselves is actually  _not_  the best way to start any kind of relationship. Read why in the next issue of 'shitty teen magazine.'" He quipped with sarcasm.

Roman pretended the joke had lifted the mood a little as Dean had no doubt intended, but his mind was still buzzing.

"Well thankfully Bray won't even try to bother us for a while," Roman said because Dean needed any comfort he could get.

"Triple H said he'd keep 'im busy."

Dean's eyebrows drew together.

"Why? He hates us."

Roman shrugged.

"I told him we wouldn't cause any trouble if he did, but really I think he already had an agenda for him or something..."

Dean laughed, "You told him that? Just wait 'til we screw with his agenda anyway. Trouble is my middle name."

"Dean Trouble Ambrose? Yeah that's real catchy. Quite attractive actually." Roman teased sarcastically.

"That's what you get from a mom like mine, man."

Another joke. He'd almost forgotten about the tendency Dean had for making uncomfortable jokes. Seth had once told Roman that he thought it was a defense mechanism of sorts, pointing out Dean's fear of not having control when it came to his life. As Seth had put it, Dean was "twisting the situation into his control by making those jokes." If he made light of it, it was in his hands and he could do what he wanted with it. It was a way of grasping security in situations that held none.

Seth was always best at reading Dean, and Roman had no doubt he was right.

"That's awful, Dean." Roman laughed.

"You haven't met her," Dean's laughter joined along.

Roman's phone vibrated from the bedside table.

"What time is it?" he asked as he went to check it.

"Oh it's six. And that's AJ..."

Dean stood, pushing his hair out of his eye.

"We're watching her match tonight, right?"

"Of course," Roman smiled.

* * *

After getting dressed and eating breakfast, the two of them decided to spend the rest of the morning working out and sparring. It was important to stay in shape and it helped with Dean's restlessness. Roman would've taken him out somewhere just for the sake of it, but even if transportation were not an issue, Dean couldn't be spotted by anyone- fan or foe. Eventually they'd have to confront Bray somehow, but Roman really didn't want to risk anything so early on in the game. And there was no way they wanted to Bray to find them outside of the ring, it was clear his brutality lacked bounds and there was no telling what he might do.

So they played a few rounds of poker, moved some furniture into Dean's room, took a walk, and decided to cook dinner together, which was something they used to do when it was the three of them.

It had always ended in Seth flipping out over recipe details and sanitary precautions that Dean blatantly disregarded just to get a rise out of him. A lot of the time, Roman would have to practically pull the two apart before they really got into it, and by then, the food was burnt up and they'd just end up ordering takeout.

Now they stood by the counter, working on a stir fry and chatting as the kitchen filled with its delicious scent.

"So," Dean said as he munched on the ingredients before they could even make it to the pan. Another tendency of his that Seth couldn't stand.

"How long  _do_  you think we'll be here?"

Roman focused on a single carrot in the pan, rolling it back and forth across the heat

"I dunno... I mean, I don't really see that much of a rush.. And with both of us still recovering, I figured it'd be a good idea to take it easy for a while..."

Dean snagged Roman's carrot out from under the spatula, cursing when he popped it in his mouth. Obviously it was very hot.

"Just fucking tell me, Rome."

Roman sighed.

"A few months or so..."

Dean laughed loudly like it was a joke.

"Are you kidding me? There's no way I'm gonna just sit here 'taking it easy' for  _that long_  after what Bray did. And aside from everything he put me through after Hell in a Cell, he also cost me that match. I would've won if not for him!"

He paused, seemingly thinking about what he'd just said, and his eyes shot up to meet Roman's.

"You remember it now?"

With a swelling anger, Dean gazed at the floor before nodding.

"'S really disorienting actually..."

"It probably all just takes time to piece back together."

He shrugged before grabbing another steaming carrot off the stove.

"But anyway, I'm not going to hide and wait for Bray to find me. He fucked with me, he's not gonna get away with that."

"I know... We'll talk about it later." Roman said as he gestured towards the clock.

"For now, how about turning on the TV?"

Dean did so as Roman served the stir fry and got out drinks.

When he joined Dean on the couch, the match was Ziggler vs. Cesaro. By the time they'd finished eating, AJ's match was starting. She was up against Nikki Bella and she held her own for a good while, which didn't come as much of a surprise to either of the men, until Nikki went for a cheap shot that threw her off completely.

"C'mon!" Dean shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

And with that, Nikki won the match.

Roman rolled his eyes at Nikki's bragging exit before he left to clean up the food.

He could hear Dean ranting with frustration about Nikki, calling her several vulgar names as he did.

Roman thought to tell him he couldn't even hear all of what he was saying, but he knew that wouldn't stop Dean. He'd continue on regardless, just to get it out of his system.

Roman returned as the commercials played on. Dean had finished ranting for the most part but they were both still disgruntled.

When the show returned, the commentators were happily chatting away- until it happened.

The screen went black suddenly for a moment.

"Roman."

"I see it." He put a hand on Dean's shoulder from where he stood behind the couch.

Bray Wyatt flashed onto the screen, staring straight into the camera, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Dean... Ambrose."

His shoulders tensed as his name was slowly spoken.

"Just a lost little lamb. How many times will you lose your way before you realize it's no good? You  _know_  what happens when you stray..."

Bray had dangerous glint in his eyes and gave a quiet laugh before he continued.

"But this time you didn't stray did you? You were taken against your will... and as you listen to my words I hope you understand this. You were  _ripped away from my safety..._  that's not something you want to lose, is it?"

Bray shook his head and waved a hand in no direction in particular.

"Now maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're not even watching tonight... But I have a feeling you are. See Dean, another little bird told me that you are with Roman Reigns still..." A sick smile twisted across his face.

"And I  _know_ he's watching. I know because he's scared... He's scared I'm going to sneak up on him in the dark and steal you away again... He's watching right now in hopes that if any clues slip as to just when and where I'll appear, he'll be there to catch them."

He let out a small, wicked laugh before lowering his voice like he was just talking to Dean alone,

"You know better though, don't you? You know that there's no telling when I'll come for you... You know that he  _should_  be scared, because you know that even if I did warn him, it wouldn't matter."

Propping his elbows up on his knees, Dean leaned towards the screen.

"Nothing can stop ol' Bray Wyatt from finding his lost sheep... ain't that right, Dean? You couldn't do it. Ain't that right?  _No one_  can stop me. So here's a warning for you, Reigns...  _Run."_

The screen went black again.

Roman skirted around to sit next to Dean, who was simply staring at the floor, frozen in panic. Then his head jerked and he was looking at Roman with worried eyes.

"Give me your phone."

"What? Why?" Roman handed it to him but got no response.

Dean pounded a number in and held it to his ear.

"AJ, are you alright? What did he do to you?" his voice was urgent.

"I mean Bray. Are you alright?" He repeated desperately.

"You didn't? So you're safe?"

Roman wish he'd put it on speaker phone so he'd know what she was saying.

He knew there was no way AJ would've told Bray anything, but Dean seemed to assume she'd been forced.

"Good. Okay, just  _be careful._  We'll talk about it later. Bye."

Roman looked at him expectantly.

"She's back at her hotel. Didn't even see him." Dean said shortly, handing the phone back over.

"He's just screwing with us I guess... Wants you to worry about your friends or whatever."

Roman snorted. Dean was really his only close friend but he guessed Bray didn't know that. The only way he'd give Dean back was if Bray threatened Dean, so that was a relief.

"Why is he so bent on you I wonder?"

"I dunno, man. He honestly wanted to 'fix me' to begin with, but now it's like a game and I'm the fucking prize."

"Fuck him."

"Just wait 'til he hears I want out..." Dean brushed his hair back with one hand. "I can't just wait for him to find us."

"He's not going to. He's trying to play with our heads. I doubt he has any clue as to where we are anyway. I mean it's sort of a no brainer that we'd be together still... No one needed to tell him that."

Dean wrinkled his nose, "Well I'm still not waiting months. He doesn't deserve to even think he's winning his stupid game."

"Fine, but let's get it all planned out before making any moves, okay?"

"Deal."


	7. Find Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope that you are all well!  
> I'd just like to state that after having read more works in this fandom, any similarities I've written are purely coincidental. 
> 
> That's all, hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

The following week was full of questions, some were asked, while others were only in thought. Dean actually felt like he was doing a pretty good job, despite everything. He was trying to be helpful at least.

Though there were still things he hadn't told them, things he  _couldn't_ tell them.

AJ had returned for the time being, and had been helping the two men plan the attack on Bray.  
She and Roman had been so supportive and understanding of him even though he struggled. There were some days he just couldn't talk about any of it at all, and then there were other days when he needed to talk in detail about everything.

There were some things he held back, though. He knew it wasn't really right, and probably not healthy to keep things to himself, but how many times had he honestly done something because it was right or healthy?

He didn't want to even think about it, the way Bray had made him feel safe... He knew it wasn't right, but something in him couldn't let it go.

"So Dean, um... How will we know if he tries to get into any of our heads?" AJ asked a little hesitantly.

"You'll know." was all he said back, his defenses raising a bit. It wasn't something he wanted to talk about.

Roman looked at him, "Dean seriously. I know this is hard, but we need more details than that."

Dean didn't want to say it, he didn't want them to know he'd let Bray in willingly. He didn't want them to know Bray had made him feel that safeness.

He'd told Roman before, but since then he'd learned that Bray had been screwing him over. He shouldn't still feel any form of comfort from that man and yet it was there.

"You'd know it if he did." He answered simply.

"Dean."

"But he won't."

"Why do you say that?"

"'Cause I know he won't."

Roman was clearly becoming frustrated.

"He's crazy, Dean. There's no knowing what he'll do! How can you be  sure?"

"Because you're not gonna let him in." Dean practically shouted it because Roman just wouldn't let it go.

But now Roman was silent. And AJ was silent. And Dean, who was staring at Roman, and feeling absolutely shameful, was silent.

Great. Now they knew. He felt completely stupid for falling for Bray's trap in the first place, he didn't need an audience to watch him fall flat on his face. Especially when he was just trying to figure it all out for himself.

* * *

_"Come, I say, come back to me..." Bray's slow singing was gentle as it washed over the noisy swamp. Insects chirped and screeched, while frogs croaked and groaned. There was a soft breeze that played with Dean's hair and the moss hanging above them._

_"Little lamb, you can't be free..."_

_Dean closed his eyes and took in the feeling of the sun's warmth soaking into his skin. It was just warm enough outside for him to leave his jacket behind, though he almost hadn't. He had a hard time looking at the many deep scars that covered his arms; but Bray didn't mind them one bit and had encouraged him to leave the jacket off, so that's what he'd done._

_"I will take you to my home..."_

_Bray was so accepting of him. Even when he felt like everything about himself was all screwed up, Bray loved him. No one else had ever loved him like that, even at his best. Not his parents, not his foster families, not Seth, not Roman, not even he could love himself fully. But Bray, Bray Wyatt, the man who had rescued him, the one who promised salvation..._

_"Little lamb, I pray you come."_

_Bray loved him unconditionally. Dean didn't know how, but he did._

_Bray sat on a fallen tree and motioned for him to do the same._

_They were at one of Bray's favorite spots. It was a bit of a walk from the compound, but it was strangely beautiful. Trees surrounded them and some of the swamp, keeping them safe from the world. The endless chorus of wildlife added a touch of anxiety to the place for Dean. But much like with Bray, comfort and chaos mixed together and there was nothing to do but just take it all in. Really it was all he_ could _do, but something about that felt safe._

_Bray took his hand, looking him in the eye, and spoke,_

_"Dean, my precious little lamb. You've grown so much since Rollins hurt you..."_

_His thumb stroked over a dark scar on Dean's wrist._

_"You've learned well from my teachings. You've drawn so close to me, keeping safe in my protection... but, there's something she taught me."_

_Dean kept quiet, watching and listening to Bray._

_"See, we're close, you and me... But we ain't nowhere as close as me and Abigail. She still talks to me Dean," Bray tapped at his own head. "she's always with me. No one can take her away from me."_

_The man's giddy smile and the little laugh he let slip made Dean uneasy, so instead he let his eyes fall on a tree across the swamp, where a group of buzzards sat together. He watched one in particular as is stretched it's wings out._

_"But you, little lamb, have a wandering soul... You'll easily be led astray again."_

_Turning to Bray again, Dean frowned. He wanted this though, so why on earth would Bray think he'd try to leave?_

_"I'm not goin' anywhere." He stated quietly._

_Bray was quick to respond, as if he'd known what Dean was going to say and had already formed an arguement against it in his head._

_"That's what you thought before Rollins abandoned you, too."_

_It wasn't a question. They both knew he was right._

_Dean bit his lip while Bray continued._

_"I promised I'd protect you, but there's one thing I need you to do for me to be able to..."_

_Dean stared at him, completely puzzled. He'd stopped fighting some time ago... What else could Bray possibly need?_

_"Your mind... I can help you. Just let me in, Dean."_

_Bray took Dean's face in both of his hands, causing Dean to freeze nervously._

_Next his vision blurred, his body weakened, and there was a painful pressure in his head._

_"No, stop-" he jerked away instinctively, almost falling off his place on the log. "What are you doing?"_

_His breathing was heavy and fast and his head still held a ghost of the pain he'd felt a moment ago._

_"Please, stop." He repeated even though Bray was only watching him closely, making no move to touch him again._

_When Dean had caught his breath again, Bray looked at him sadly._

_"Sweet lamb, let me help you."_

_"I can't. It's too much- please._

_Dean felt pathetic, pleading like he was, but panic was outweighing his ego entirely._

_"Shhhhh," Bray put a hand behind Dean's neck, despite the way he flinched at first, and pulled him into his arms.  
"Alright, no more for today."_

* * *

Dean rubbed his face in his hands, not in the mood to be bombarded by memories at the moment, especially not  _those_  memories.

"He can't take full control unless you let him." Dean quietly reiterated, studying his shoes.

The other two stayed quiet, probably not sure what to say.

It was killing him though, and his head was aching something fierce. He stood up and stretched.

"I'm gonna go lay down if that's okay."

"You alright?" Roman asked, nudging him lightly.

"It's just been a long day." He replied, mostly to avoid the question, but also because it really had been. Maybe he should've known the entire week would be long.

* * *

It'd been almost two weeks since Bray had called them out, he hadn't shown up again since. No one was fooled though; they knew he had to be up to something.  
So they'd continued to prepare themselves, and they'd gotten a lot of work done, leaving them exhausted.

"I'm fine, bro. Leave me alone." Dean slurred, swatting at Roman who was trying to pull him towards the bedroom.

"You can't sleep on the table." He said flatly. "It's three in the morning... We'll get back to this tomorrow."

Roman gathered the papers they'd been using to plan their attack into one pile.

"The only reason I can't fuckin' sleep here is because you keep waking me up."

"Darn right, boy."

With a groan, Dean heaved himself up and slowly headed to his room.

They'd wanted to move to Roman's room instead because it was homier, but Dean's nightmares had been getting worse and he would've been more likely to hurt himself there as it was fully furnished.

They'd been working on plans until late in the evenings and Dean had adopted a habit of falling asleep with his head on the table every night. And just like every night, Roman woke him up to get in the bed, in hopes Dean would get at least a little sleep.

He desperately wanted Dean to have a peaceful night for once.

It didn't even have to do with the fact Dean had snapped at him on more than one occasion due to sleep deprivation, or because he wasn't as helpful as Roman knew he could be when more aware. He just hated that his brother had to go through psychological torture every time he closed his eyes. The things he saw grew darker each night and Roman could tell it was starting to get to him.

Though he'd wanted to wait to confront Bray, he was beginning to change his mind.

Every night started the same, Roman holding Dean close as the two fell asleep.  
Whether they stayed like that or not changed each night. Some nights Dean needed to be held safely and others left him needing space. He'd expressed feeling furious about being reduced to that but it was obviously completely out of his control.

He'd also tried to apologize for it but Roman wouldn't let him. It just brought more pain to hear him say it, because Dean was not generally an apologetic person, and it was only more proof that he'd been tampered with.

Roman didn't mind the sleepless nights so much, he only wished he could be more useful during them. They usually would talk it out after he calmed Dean with soothing words and sometimes gentle touch. That was about all he could do.

If Bray really was sending Dean messages in some of the nightmares like he thought, Roman prayed it'd end once they put him in his place.

For the time being though, he let the thoughts and worries fall away as sleep took him.

* * *

_He cried out in agony._

_How long had it been?_

_Weeks? Months?_

_Did it matter?_

_This kind of pain didn't keep up with time._

_His stomach ached with an awful hunger that was so constant; he couldn't remember what it was not to feel it._

_His screams were hoarse from his raw throat and the strain they took as they forced their way past his lips made him that much more exhausted._

_The restraints had been tightened to secure his thinning limbs. Not that he had the strength to pull out of them even if they'd been left loose._

_"So this is what it feels like... to be broken!" Bray's elbow slammed forcefully down on his broken ribs, knocking the wind out of him completely._

_"What was that?" Bray shouted over his coughs._

_"I'm sorry-_

_"I'm sure you are."_

_He yelped as his head was yanked up by his hair yet again._

_"But see... It's a little late for that, man. It seems your time is running out on you... sound familiar? Does it?! You know all about running out on those who need you!" He was thrown down again, the pain of even that mild impact shot through him tenfold._

_"Maybe I'll start with that pretty little mouth of yours... Such pretty lips to spill such filthy lies."_

_Calloused fingers traced his trembling mouth as he looked up with horror._

_A cruel laugh was let out at his involuntary whimper._

_Then a knife replaced the fingers and he tasted blood as intense agony set in._

* * *

Thrashing awoke him first as Dean unconsciously fought against his gentle hold. Then the fearful shouts came, "No!"

When he started pulling his hair violently, Roman sat up next to him and took both of his hands. With only what force was necessary, he uncurled Dean's clenched fingers and pulled his hands away.

He needed to wake up before he hurt himself.

"Dean," Roman tried.

"Please! Don't-"

"Wake up, Dean."

It was scary seeing him so afraid, even if it was in his sleep.

Dean fought hard to free his hands but Roman wasn't giving in.

"Dean, c'mon." He tried a little louder, giving his brother a good shake.

Suddenly with eyes wide open and body trembling hard, Dean looked around.

"Seth-"

Roman hushed him softly, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"Shh, remember? It wasn't Seth. You're safe..."

Dean was shaking his head frantically.

"No, Seth-" he couldn't seem to find the words.

"Neither Bray or Seth can get you here, okay-"

"No!" Dean looked him dead in the eye, and spoke with all the sincerity in the world, "He has Seth."


	8. Plan B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You people and your reviews are the greatest :') Thank you all!  
> Enjoy!

Roman was urgently knocking on AJ's door, the sound throwing Dean's concentration off completely. He tried to recall every detail about the settings he'd seen in his nightmares, sketching them out on paper under the yellow kitchen light. His shaking hand wasn't helping the situation. The task was already hard enough, having to remember it all without getting hung up on everything that'd happened to him and Seth there.

It was weird being scared for Seth. It wasn't that Dean forgave him by any means, but he couldn't leave anyone to go through what he had.

Shuddering, he tried to clear his head. Roman could be heard explaining the circumstances to AJ as the two came to the kitchen.

"Wait, have you tried calling him? How do you know it's not one of Bray's games?"

"Fuck, AJ does it matter?"

"Um, yeah. It does actually." She bit back, taking no shit from him.

"Chill Dean, she has a good point." Roman said, pulling out his phone and dialing.

Dean just wished he could stop the whirlwind in his head.

Roman was silent as the call rang through, making a face when he pulled it away from his ear.

"Reception should be fine... I didn't even get voicemail or anything."

Dean felt sick to his stomach.

Roman tried the number once more, watching Dean's struggle with the drawing.

"Dean, just stop." Roman reached a hand across the table, taking his. The violent trembling was causing him to do more bad than good to the sketch.

AJ gave him a worried look but he just grimaced and dropped the pen in agitated resignation.

"Its still ringing..." Roman said when the others looked at him expectantly.

* * *

Just when Roman thought the call was about to drop again, he heard it pick up.

"Hello?" Seth's voice was raspy and almost inaudible. Roman's heart sank at how weak it sounded.

Maybe he'd just been sleeping.  
Roman knew that definitely wasn't what Seth sounded like upon waking, but he didn't give himself the time to think about that.

"Seth! Thank goodness, are you alright?"

"Rome, I'm sorry, I- ahhh!"

"Y'hear that? He's  _sorry!"_  Bray yelled over the screams with a depraved laugh. "If I said I was sorry, would it make this any better?"

A gasping sound that broke into an anguished yell was heard in the background.

"Apologies don't change a thing. They're just more words from the mouth of a liar!"

It was painful just to listen to. Especially the way Seth alternated with struggling groans, and harrowing screams, with barely any in between.

"Pain knows no regrets. It's not a fire you can just put out once it's started. It burns and burns, out of control... and what's left? Once that flame does die, hmm? What's left?"  
Bray paused for only a moment before answering the question himself.  
"Ashes are left behind. Ashes that will cover you until they choke you out completely! Fire leaves ashes, pain leaves scars. You cannot control the fire you started, Rollins! You cannot hope to put it out! You hurt Dean! And now you're paying for your sins!" Bray hollered over Seth's cries. "Time is up! You can't run from this! Time is up, Rollins!"

"He's going to fuckin' kill him. Seth can't handle that much abuse." Dean whispered, evidently hearing some of the noise through the phone. He looked like he was going to be sick. AJ rubbed his arm softly.

"Bray, stop it." Roman kept his voice even and forceful.

"Reigns... Tell Dean I said 'hi.' I know he's there."

Roman's eyes darted to Dean.

"Deeean?" Bray dragged it out in the sing-song voice of a maniac.

"Shut up."

"Why? Afraid he'll run away from you? Deeean!" Bray teased, letting out a sickeningly playful laugh. "You know he will, Reigns. He'll return to me, right where he belongs. I healed him... Gave him something to hold onto! Who're you to take that away from him? You're a selfish man, Reigns. All he had with you was the pain of a broken so-called family. I gave him a home, a real family... And who're you to rip that from him, hmm? How dare you drag him back just to suffer with you in your misery!"

Roman stood and began pacing, trying to contain the welling fury inside him.

"I said shut up, Bray! You don't know anything!"

"Then ask him! He's right there isn't he? Ask him!" Bray jeered. "He'll thank me! This? This is all for him! And what did you do Reigns? You let Rollins go!"

"What you're doing is wrong!"

Bray gave a taunting laugh, "Don't you see? This is exactly what he deserves. Justice ain't always pretty."

A pained cry was let out in the background.

"I'm warning you Bray." He growled.

Bray continued on, ignoring him.

"It doesn't have to be like this, Reigns... You want Seth, I want Dean, Dean wants-"

"Don't you dare try to tell me what he wants! You have no right."

"I  _showed_  him what to want! He was a lost sheep and I  _found_  him. You know what I saw when I got to him? A lost little one with nowhere to go, no one to follow, nobody to show him the way... He was provoking wolves, directionless but not about to give up. A head full of rage but no cause to direct it to... Well, I caught the wolf that's been hunting him. The one who snuck in, wearing sheep's clothing for months until his attack. And you mean to tell me Dean doesn't want this? You're a blind man, Reigns!  _This_  is what justice looks like!"

Bray paused for only a moment before shifting into quiet laughs.

"See, Dean's like me in that way... He needs vengeance- he  _craves_  it! He's no saint. He's a monster just like me..."

"You don't know anything-"

"Then let him say it! If you're so sure, give 'im the phone."

"There's no way. Not after everything you did."

"Let him decide for himself, Reigns. If  _I_  have no right to decide for him, neither do you."

Roman sighed heavily, pulling the phone away from his ear.

"He wants to talk to-"

Dean was taking the phone from him before he could even finish.

"Hey."

He instantly stiffened.

"Seth-" he breathed, staring into nothing for a moment before suddenly blinking and then speaking evenly. He'd always been good at masking his feelings when he was driven by such strong determination.

"Hey. Yeah I'm fine, Bray. But back up, how?"

A pause.

"What?" he sounded genuinely taken aback as he side-eyed Roman. "No..."

He narrowed his eyes, looking away again.

"No, not true- it can't be."

A pained look came over him for a second and he took a deep breath.

"Fine. But what about Seth?"

His expression became unreadable as he listened.

He exhaled and stood, running a hand through his hair as he paced now.

"I don't know, I didn't think-"

He stopped dead in his tracks and cursed. His breaths became faster. He was panicking.

Roman stood again and made to go to him, but Dean instantly put a hand out, signaling him not to.

Dean swore again and continued slowly, "Yeah, I do... What's my next move?"

It was uncomfortable hearing him talk to Bray like they knew each other, but in reality they sort of did.

"No, no, no- wait. You need to slow it down. The rate you're going he'll be dead. Well no, but I need my own closure, y'know?"

Roman kept his eyes on Dean calculating what he was saying.

"Yeah, yeah I know, but he can be a bit of a pansy sometimes okay? It'll be no fun if he's so drained that I can't even get a reaction."

He looked Roman in the eye gravely.

"At least feed 'im something, would you?"

Ruffling his own hair, Dean leaned up against the counter with a heavy sigh.

"Yes, alright? I will. No, I'm in a different room. Yeah, I'll just tell him we're going to save Seth..."

He buried his face in his free hand,  _"I know, I'm sorry._ "

Hearing Dean apologize to Bray made Roman want to hit something.

Dean cursed, hanging up the phone. He then made to leave the room, evidently in a rage, but Roman stopped him with a hand on his chest to block him.

"Wait, where are you going? What'd he say? We need to talk about this."

Dean gave him a warning look and swatted his hand away.

"We're going to get Seth, just like you said."

Dean looked like he was ready to rip Roman's arm right off his body when he stopped him yet again.

"What, Rome? I can't do this right now, alright? I've gotta be alone."

He rammed his way through and went to his room, the door slamming behind him.

"That went... well?" AJ looked just as confused as Roman felt.

"I guess as well as could be expected. I shouldn't have let him have the phone."

"You didn't know…"

"I knew Bray fucked with him."

"Well you know Dean, he's not gonna let you baby him through this. Once he determines his limits, he'll be deciding everything on his own. He's probably just still trying to accept Bray's betrayal. He needs time, and maybe some space... Then he can decide exactly what  _he_  thinks of everything."

Roman nodded, knowing she was probably right.

* * *

As soon as the door was shut behind him, Dean broke.

_Unbelievable._

No, he wished it were. He'd seen them for himself though, without a doubt. Rollins' silly gloves had been sloppily hidden under some books.

How could this be happening again?

"I fucking trusted you!" He yelled, throwing a punch straight through the wall and scowling into the dusty hole that was left there, like even the wall had betrayed him. At that point he wouldn't doubt it.

Had Bray been right about people all along?

No one could be trusted.

_Well you were an absolute idiot for thinking anything different!_

He hit himself in frustration several times against the head. Had Roman been there he would've stopped him. Roman only seemed to want to help him, so why this?

Bray said Seth had left with Roman when they took Dean away.

He said that Seth had been there all along until he'd gone back with the Authority, who then turned him over to Bray. So Roman had been hiding him all that time. Dean would have tried his hardest not to believe it, but the gloves were undeniable proof.

He cursed, burying his face in his hands.

He'd have to decide. Who did he trust? Roman had clearly lied, and betrayed him. Bray had seemingly been more honest with him, aside from making him think the scars had been from Seth... But what if Roman had been lying about that too? Sure there were videos, but what about what wasn't in the ring? It must have happened elsewhere either way.  
With the alliance Roman apparently still had with Seth, it'd make sense for him to try to convince Dean it was Bray. It wasn't like Dean remembered everything one hundred percent anyway. That was something troublesome in itself. With Bray there were times he couldn't recall, decisions he couldn't remember making; the truth was that he probably hadn't. Bray had a certain influence when it came to his family. As scary as the idea was, it was hard to be worried when you knew he did it with your best interest in mind.

Now it seemed all Bray had ever done was help him.

He rubbed his hands up through his hair, exhaling heavily.

Roman had broken his trust, he knew that much for a fact. For the time being though, Dean wouldn't call his brother out on it. Keeping quiet would allow him to keep an eye on the situation; watch and keep things under control until he was ready to act on it.

A soft knocking sound came at his door. A moment of panic hit him as he looked up. Nevertheless, he told them to come in, relieved when he saw it was AJ.

"Dean?"

"What?" He replied abruptly.

AJ side-eyed the damaged wall for a second before focusing on him again.

"Let's talk."

"No, I'm fine thanks." The appreciation was sarcastic so she'd know good and well that he didn't want to talk.

Had AJ had been in on it too? Was there anyone who cared enough to actually tell him the truth?  
Bray never mentioned AJ though, so maybe Roman had tricked her too…  
Dean couldn't dwell on it in that moment. No, instead he pushed all of those thoughts into one of the many dark corners of his mind, a corner full of darkness and denial. At least with it there he wouldn't have to deal with it until later.

"Bray wasn't too upset was he?" AJ asked.

Dean wrinkled his nose.

"What?" he asked, not paying her much mind as he casually picked up the part of the clothes stack he'd unknowingly knocked over.

Maybe if he ignored her she'd go away.

"About you leaving."

Of course he knew she wouldn't. It wasn't like her.

"Uh, no I don't think- well no, he still doesn't know I want to be here."

_More like 'wanted' to be... I don't even know what I want now._

"Y'sure?" she asked as she sat cross-legged on the bed as if he'd invited her to.

"Yeah, he said not to worry... He's going to find me if we don't get to him first."

He paused before rolling his eyes in realization, and sitting across from AJ. She had a way of getting you to talk, even when you didn't necessarily want to. It was part of why their friendship worked so well. He wasn't one to share much about himself to people, and she was curious, and clever about it.

On days when he pushed everyone else away, she could slip in and get through to him. She did it in ways that were much like herself, small and could almost be easy to dismiss, but winding their way around you until she got what she wanted.

She was never unkind or prying about it though, she knew which lines not to cross. He was just a little annoyed because all he really wanted was to be alone for a while. Preferably forever.

Though, he should've been used to it by now. AJ had delt with him whenever Roman had been busy or out. He was extremely grateful for it, but that wouldn't stop him from feeling agitated with her sometimes.

"Okay look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but this is a big deal. To be honest,  _I'm_  nervous. And I never even liked that two-toned bitch."

"Gah, I hate 'im." Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly before throwing his hands up in frustration. "I mean, why'd he have to go and get himself mixed up in this? Everything was going fine, and  _of course_  he had to ruin it. He's such an idiot."

AJ nodded but Dean just continued as his anger rose.

"This isn't his thing. He's like that pesky fly in your house you can't seem to get rid of. Just buzzing and buzzing around in your business, digging in your trash, puttin' his ugly hands in your food. It's  _not his thing."_

"Well it is now."

He huffed out an exhale.

"Yeah, only Bray doesn't want him. Not for the family... he wants retribution."

"For you though, right? You told him to be careful, so what's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that he  _knows_  how to be careful- to a point. Once he decides exactly where your limits are, he'll push you to them and hold you there. It's how he has to get through sometimes."

"Is that how..." She paused, searching for words with a concerned expression.

"It's how he got me, yeah. But see, he don't care about Seth the same way he cares about me... I don't see this ending well at all. The quicker we get there, the better."

He absently rubbed at the scars on his arm. It wasn't something he liked to think about.  
In fact, none of those memories were. It wasn't only that not being able to remember was unsettling, he also tried to keep the parts he  _did_  remember as far to the back of his mind as possible. It was awful trying to imagine Seth  _or_ Bray holding that knife...

_But it'd been Seth, right?_

Those memories were far too foggy to tell.

_It was Seth._

_No. All of that was a lie._

_Sing little bird! Sing for me!_

_Fix me._

It was too much. Everything. His thoughts were overwhelming him again and he hated it.

 _"_ I can't stand this." He kicked the corner of the bed.

"We're going to beat him." AJ replied with determination.

"Well so what? We win at hide-and-seek, then what? I'm still fucked up. That's the thing about it all, y'know? Justice can't fix me. No amount of retribution, no matter how good it feels, will fix anything. I'm just sick of dead ends everywhere I turn."

He rubbed his head, hoping to aid the ache that had formed there thanks to stress.

He was frustrated and torn and really just... lost.

He laughed to himself.

Was Bray ever wrong?

_"Trust in me Dean. Obey me. Follow me. You will be safe with me."_

_What the fuck am I doing?_

"Dean, we're going to save Rollins... That's not a dead end. That's what you need to focus on right now, okay? Recovery is something you only have so much control over. It's going to take time... But this is something we can control right now."

She flashed him a small smile, "Besides, getting your hands on Seth Rollins is kind of your thing.

AJ winked, and he couldn't help but laugh a little.

She had a good point. If anyone could do it, it was Dean Ambrose.

And why waste energy on fretting over other things in the meantime?

Sure, loyalties would determine everything, but he could tell if he continued going about it the way he was, he'd just end up an emotional wreck. It was just something that was part of his life now. Whether he liked it or not, it was. Like the scars that marked his body, anxiety and panic marked his mind.

But AJ was also right about Dean's ability to get at Seth.

"Yeah, that's one thing that will never change." he said with a smirk.

"See, you're gonna be just fine." AJ chuckled, not with dismissal but with encouragement as she gave him a thumbs up.

"Is Roman mad at me?"

Honestly he didn't know why he should care what Roman thought of him, but he did.

"Eh. I don't think so. He's just stressed out... He's still working on plans."

Dean nodded in understanding.

"I think he feels guilty for letting Bray talk to you after seeing what that did to you." She frowned.

Dean let out a long, annoyed groan.

"I love Rome, I really do. But I'm capable of doing this on my own. Yeah it's fuckin' hard, but that's life y'know? I've lasted this long, I'm not backing down now."

Besides, Bray had taught him to be even stronger than before. Fixing Dean had taken a lot, and his health had suffered greatly. He could remember feeling broken bones beneath his skin, he was sickly and pale but covered in dark scars and gashes that were attempting to heal, only to be inflicted again.  
He was weak and lethargic. There was no way he could last a minute in the ring if they even let him in at all.

Bray had forced him to eat, even when it'd made him nauseous. If he was unable to keep the food down, he was forced through the process all over again.

Eventually he'd gained weight back, and through brutal training, muscle. Bray would push him all day long, mocking him and screaming at him if he slowed at all. They'd keep going until his muscles gave out and he physically couldn't do anymore.

The struggles all throughout his life had always made him strong. And now thanks to Bray, he could endure even more, physically  _and_  mentally.

That was why he'd get through it all and thrive. He had to.

* * *

"Hear that? Dean's comin' for you." Bray grinned devilishly.

Seth wanted to retort, he would've too, had his mind been fully functioning and if the effort it'd take were worth it.

Instead he stayed silent, attempting to catch his breath while he could.

"He's on his way. Just wait 'til he gets here. It's been so long… Dean, my sweet little lamb."

Seth couldn't let that slide.

"Fuck you. Don't touch him-"

Without warning, Bray slapped him across the face with all the force he had, causing Seth's head to whip the other way with a burning pain.

"Who are you to tell me what to do- you  _broke_  him! You threw him away like he was nothing! I was the one who found him and fixed him! I clawed deep into his mind and healed him. I  _saved_  him. Dean belongs to me!"

_He doesn't belong to anyone._

He wanted to scream in Bray's face, to punch and kick him, to beat the words into him.

_Dean Ambrose belongs to no one._

But he was weak, and bound, and his thoughts were fuzzy, and Bray was so much bigger than him, and he knew it'd be hopeless anyway.

_Dean please, don't._

_Don't come..._

_Save yourself._


	9. Following Buzzards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we go! You might all hate me soon enough because, if everything goes as planned, I will be posting chapter ten next week and then I'll be away for a bit.. so yeah, heads up about that.  
> (please dont hate me too much!)

"You're  _sure_  we're going the right direction?" Roman asked for the third time since they'd left.

"I don't know, man. Look at your fucking GPS, which I don't know why you even  _have_  'cause you insist on asking me directions every five minutes."

Dean was in a bad mood. He'd been irritable ever since the phone call and it seemed like a bit of a wall had come up between them which worried Roman.

He'd become less open about his nightmares and he only let Roman touch him when things got really bad. It was like he was turning inward again instead of letting them help him. And maybe it was a defense mechanism, if he didn't let people get to him then they couldn't hurt him, but it left him isolated which was the last thing he needed during that time.

"Don't be a jerk, Dean." AJ said firmly from the backseat. Out the corner of his eye, Roman saw Dean agitatedly turn his head to look out the window. When Roman glanced his way he saw that the hand that wasn't now supporting his head, carelessly tangled in his hair, was clenching his leg just above his knee, fingers digging into the material of his jeans tensely.

"Whatever, just get us to Louisiana first, then I'll give you the fucking directions."

Dean had gotten directions to where Bray was because Dean had convinced him that he was coming back to stay, under the pretense of saving Seth.

Roman caught AJ's eye in the rearview mirror and gave her an apologetic look for Dean's mood. Though he knew Dean wasn't really his responsibility, that never kept Roman from feeling like he was.

AJ simply shook her head and shrugged, showing she wasn't bothered by the other's snappiness.

After that, they traveled in silence for a while. Roman went over Bray's old matches in his head. He'd really studied them to get a good feel for the man he'd be up against.

Though that was Bray Wyatt  _inside_ the ring. Outside he'd proven to be merciless.

_Seth I'm so sorry... this is all my fault._

It was probably good that Dean didn't feel like talking because Roman wasn't sure he'd be able to hold back the questions burning in his head.

What should they expect when they arrive? What might be useful for aiding the rescue? Would they be able to tell if Bray had gotten into Seth's head? What might Seth do if so?

Would Dean even know the answers?

Roman guessed the receiving end of Bray's control wasn't one you really remembered later...

He side eyed his brother yet again, noting the way he was bouncing his leg and anxiously chewing gum.

He couldn't stand it any longer. Dean's fidgeting was making  _him_  nervous.

"Dean, talk to me."

"Don't feel like it."

Roman turned to look at him a moment but the other man just gave him an exaggerated  _"what?"_ face.

"Dean."

"I'm cool, man. Don't worry about it."

"No, you're not 'cool.' You're a fucking wreck."

"Oh, thanks." Dean remarked sarcastically after throwing out an obviously fake laugh. "I needed that. Y'sure know how to make a guy feel good. Do you use that charm on everyone or just special people?"

"Dean."

_"Roman."_

"What's bothering you? And before you say it, 'nothing' is a bs answer."

Dean glared at him, clearly fed up.

"It's fucking  _everything,_  okay?"

"Okay... So explain."

"What part of 'I don't feel like it' do you not understand?" he snapped, throwing a hand out with frustration, as if making a point. "It's Seth, it's you, it's Bray, it's the headaches, the anxiousness, the fact I can't even escape when I sleep, it's fucking  _everything!_ "

"What did I-"

"Nothing." Dean agitatedly interrupted with finality. "And yeah maybe that  _is_  bs, but if you have a problem with that, fuck off 'cause that's all you're gonna get."

"Fine." Roman shot back, his hands tightening on the wheel.

He was angry, concerned, and hurt all at once. What had he done to Dean? He honestly couldn't figure it out. Though maybe it was the pressure getting to him, Roman needed to keep in mind how close to the situation Dean was. He was probably firing out of fear and desperation.

 

"I just worry about you." Roman finally said in a softer tone.   
"We went through a lot of trouble to get your cranky little ass here." he joked.

Dean gave a little smile but turned to look out the window again.

* * *

 _"I had to go through a lot of trouble to save you, Dean. Salvation ain't free._ Nothin' _is free in this world."_

_Bray's hands trailed up Dean's thighs, making him squirm inside but not without guilt. He belonged to Bray, and he owed him everything he had._

_Evidently sensing Dean's unease, Bray grinned devilishly and continued._

_"You though, you were worth it."_

_He took Dean by his jaw and kissed his forehead before gently forcing him to meet his own stare._

_"See, in those eyes_ I see myself. _I was once desperate and alone like you... Not anymore, Dean._ Not anymore!  _No, now we have each other, Dean. We are_ brothers _in this crazy world. They think we're the crazy ones, ha. They don't know anything. If this is what_ sanity _is- this world, these people-_ I want nothing of it."

_He ran his fingers through Dean's hair, not bothering to slow when met with tangles. Dean winced slightly but didn't pull away._

_He let himself be led by Bray's hand as it took a handful of his curls and pulled him to lie against the other man._

_"He won't get you. That traitor... we'll take him out before he even knows we're there."_

_Dean nodded softly against Bray's shoulder, taking in the scent of burning leaves, and sweat dampened soil. In a way, it comforted him now. In the beginning it'd been a sign that the man was close enough to harm him, but as weeks passed, he started to notice the little mercies Bray's presence would bring._

_It wasn't just that he wasn't as rough as he could be, it was also the way he brushed his hand across Dean's skin- the only positive sensation he'd felt in days, it was the kisses he left there as well- reminding Dean through the delirium that he wasn't alone, it was the water he spilled into Dean's dry mouth- showing him there was someone who still needed him alive, it was all the little things that Bray did that kept him grounded._

_"Though, the other one... Reigns. Now that he's forgotten all about you, he might just join Rollins too..."_

_"He would never-"_

_"My dear sweet Dean, don't be an idiot. He_ left _you."_

_"He was injured, he couldn't-"_

_Nails dug hard into Dean's side as a warning of Bray's rising temper._

_"Where was he before that, Dean? Where was he on those long nights you spent alone? Or the days you spent, bottle in hand, wallowing in your own pathetic misery? Where was he when you needed him most, Dean? Where was he?"_

_Dean squeezed his eyed shut tight wishing it weren't true._

"Where,  _Dean?" Bray practically shouted in his face._

_"I don't know." He made to lean into Bray's shoulder again but was quickly wrenched away so that Bray could face him._

_"What did you say?"_

_"I don't know where Roman was."_

_"That's right. And do you know why?"_

_"Because he doesn't care about me." Dean repeated what he'd been told so many times before, it brought an ache to his heart but the words were only getting harder and harder to argue with._

_Bray finally embraced him again but Dean didn't feel much comfort in it. There was always some level of control in Bray's affection; this time more so than usual._

_"My precious Dean, don't you know we're not like them? We're not fit to be loved by them. He was only using you for his own benefit. You're just lucky I came for you before he really hurt you..."_

* * *

Seth's head was spinning from either lack of nutrients or blood, he wasn't sure.  
Bray had just hung up the phone and grateful didn't even begin to describe how he felt when the man had left the room, evidently at Dean's suggestion that he feed Seth something. Not only was he past the point of starvation, he also needed the time to even out his breathing as best he could.

How had he gotten himself into such an awful situation?

 _"No matter what happens, please don't take it out on him, alright?"_  He remembered Roman saying.

But Seth knew him too well and knew that there was no way Roman would've willingly turned him over to Bray, not after what Dean had gone through. Yes Roman hated him, but his heart was much too big for that.

He'd obviously made some sort of deal with Triple H though.

What was it Hunter had said to Roman that night?

_"Wyatt will be out of your way for quite a while..."_

Hunter had planned it all along, and Roman must've just thought they wanted Seth back for their own gain, but what they wanted was to put him in his place.

_They snatched him roughly by his upper arms, practically dragging him away from the scene. One last glance as Roman turned a corner, and feeling hit him again._

_He needed to keep it together as long as possible._

_Desperate to save any amount of dignity that was left after having been used as a pawn, he ripped his arms out of Kane and Orton's hands._

_"I can walk on my own," he snapped, being sure to match their pace even through his pain._

_"For now." Orton muttered with a chuckle._

_Seth initially wanted to run, even with the injuries, he knew he could tough it out. But then what? Where would he go? Obviously he could just go home, but in doing so he'd be burning his final bridge. At least someone wanted him even if it wasn't for the best reasons._

_They got to the car and Kane practically shoved Seth in, between himself and Orton._

_As expected, it was an extremely uncomfortable ride to the hotel. No one spoke, which Seth was relieved about, but that changed as soon as the room door shut._

_"Would you like to explain yourself, Rollins?"_

_Hunter's tone told him he'd be better off not trying. Of course, bad decisions were sort of his thing as of late._

_"It was a momentary lapse of judgment, sir."_

_"Like hell it was!"_

_Seth knew as soon as he'd spoken that he wasn't getting out of it. He shifted his weight, wishing he could at least sit down, but that would only give Hunter that much more power._

_"I_ point blank _told you what would happen! And your response was to defy me_ yet again _and take off with those two ragtag wannabes!"_

_His hands were balled into tight fists and Seth knew he'd needed to talk him down fast if he wanted to avoid another beating. He'd have to tell him what he wanted to hear, the problem was that Seth wasn't exactly sure what could possibly make it better._

_"Yes sir, I know it was a stupid mistake and-"_

_"Oh that doesn't even begin to cover it! And on top of it all, you have the_ nerve _to show up here wearing that!"_

_Embarrassment flooded through him when he realized his shirt was what Hunter referred to._

_When Seth had first joined the Authority, Randy had made a habit of ridiculing him for having been with the Shield. From picking apart the other members, to calling Seth "their little bitch" because apparently he was the "pretty boy" of the group._

_In those days Seth would laugh along just to get in a good place with his new teammates, but the constant degradation really got to him._

_He was glad that Orton and Kane weren't joining the argument, though the relief was short-lived once he saw Orton's phone in hand, no doubt getting it all on video._

_"It was all we had, I-" Seth stumbled with the weak argument._

_"Do you even understand the problem here, Rollins?" Hunter interrupted angrily before shaking his head, showing he was fed up._

_"Never mind, I'll deal with this tomorrow. You two, teach Rollins a lesson."_

_Fear ran through Seth, landing deep in the pit of his stomach._

_Hunter left the room as the others stepped closer to do as they were told._

_Seth backed up, cursing when his back was met with the wall._

_When they were finally finished with him he all but collapsed into a chair, curling up pathetically to sleep. It was humiliating and painful, but nothing compared to what he'd face the next day._

_After waking early to them yanking him up, he found himself being forced back to the car. He slept most of the ride as he hadn't gotten good rest the previous night. If only he'd known where they were taking him, he could've paid attention to direction._

_Once they stopped the car, Seth awoke and saw where they were. The Wyatt compound. He instantly realized their intentions, and fought tooth and nail to escape. They only got him inside after knocking him out._

He couldn't remember a lot of the rest... Only that Bray held a grudge against him, for turning on Dean, that he quickly made known in marks upon Seth's body.

He thought surely any day now Bray would end it. Whether on purpose or by mistake, his life would end in relentless torture.

However, it had not.

In a way he wished it had, then at least Bray couldn't lure the others in. He was being used as a pawn yet again and there was nothing he could do to warn his brothers.

He had no choice but to wait for them to slowly fall into the spider's web he was hopelessly caught in.

* * *

Roman couldn't help but notice every move Dean made as they pulled up to the compound. Maybe if he could just sit still, it would help. His fidgeting was at an all-time high and he kept letting out heavy breaths through his mouth to calm himself. He'd obviously given up on keeping composure in front of the other two at that point and seemed to be trying his hardest just to keep himself together at all.

"Dean, how're you holding up over there?" Roman asked gently, putting a hand on his best friend's knee.

"Terrific, man." he sarcastically grumbled through clenched teeth.

Not a minute later Roman felt him tense up.

"Shit. Pull over, Ro."

Their destination was merely feet away from them but before Roman could question Dean, the man was opening the passenger door and leaning out, violently retching.

Roman stopped the car as carefully as he could, and softly rubbed Dean's knee.

Dean gagged a few more times before grabbing a bottle of water from the console, rinsing his mouth, and then cursing heavily.

"Yeah, I'm great." he reiterated, clearing his throat. "Just great."

It wasn't the first time Roman had seen him get physically ill with anxiety, but that didn't make it any better.

Roman frowned, brushing Dean's hair back and gently pulling him into his own shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Dean allowed himself a moment to stay there, leaned up against his brother, before plainly adding,

"Yeah, that's all I got. Let's go."

"You sure you've got this?" AJ asked a little worriedly.

 _"Please._  I'm Dean fuckin' Ambrose. Of course I got this."

 _And there's his tendency to hype himself up when faced with a challenge._  Roman thought, and he couldn't help but smile a bit to himself despite the dire circumstances.

They parked by a large tree, Roman not wanting to leave their only means of escape anywhere too close.

Luckily the plan wasn't a sneak attack, Dean had said that if he hadn't told Bray they were coming he'd probably just end up killing Seth, so stealth was one less thing they had to think about. Though that also meant that every move mattered.

They would go in looking for Seth, and Dean would act like he wanted to go back to Bray, while Roman and AJ would act like they thought he wanted to rescue Seth. It'd allow them to get in easier but there was still the whole part about getting back out that they'd have to improvise on for the most part. It wasn't even close to being a good plan, but they were pressed for time and it was all they had.

They just had to figure out where to start.

"I swear if Bray doesn't kill 'im, I'm going to." Dean said begrudgingly as he glared at his surroundings.

They stood in a field wrapped in thick patches of mossy trees that separated them from whatever lurked in the swamp on the other side. The grass below their feet was wildly overgrown with weeds, and in the hazy afternoon air hung the faint scent of a fire that'd been long since put out, and wild jasmines.

Ahead of them stood an old white house with two large porches, one on each level, covered in boxes and an odd array of dirt coated junk.

To the left was a rough looking, wooden barn and a row of dilapidated sheds.

"Got anything, Dean?" AJ asked, looking around.

Dean had told them that having a connection with Bray wasn't completely one sided. Evidently when you let someone that far into your mind, there were feelings and sometimes thoughts or memories that slipped through with them in the process.

Roman looked at his brother, wondering if anything had come to him yet, now that they were there. He had previously stated that he'd only seen the inside of the place where it'd all started, but that he could tell it was too drafty to be a house. He'd later been taken inside, but had been far too broken to remember getting there.

Now Dean stared at the house with wide eyes, taking it in. Then he let his gaze drift to the barn and sheds.

"Over there," he pointed a shaky finger to a shed near the barn, "That's where he had me."

Roman gave him a small look of encouragement.

"So that's probably where we'll find Seth."

"Then let's go, we need to make this quick." AJ prompted, gaining a nod from Roman.

"Hey Dean, if you're not up to going in, you can watch the door," Roman offered, turning back to Dean.

"Dean?" he spun around, eyes searching franticly.

His brother was nowhere to be seen.


	10. Stray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hello all! Just a heads up, things get a little more gory than usual in this chapter.  
> Side note, any advice on what genres/themes you think this fic falls into would be much appreciated! :)
> 
> Thanks, and enjoy!

  
"Dean!" Roman yelled out as panic spread through his veins, pulsing faster and faster. He met AJ's eyes with a look of horror, and swore, shaking his head as he tried to gather his thoughts.  
  
"Not again- we can't lose him again!"  
  
He forced himself to take a deep breath as AJ put her hands on his shoulders and looked up at him.  
  
"Listen to me- Roman! Listen. We're not losing anyone, not tonight."  
  
He met her determined stare.  
  
"I'll go find Seth, you find Dean. If either of us runs into Wyatt, Dean will help us. Got it?"  
  
"But-"  
  
"Got it?" she repeated in a commanding tone.  
  
He hated to split up but it seemed like their best option if they hoped to escape with both of the men.  
  
"Got it." he nodded.  
  
She patted her hip, where her phone was, as she turned towards the shed, "call me if you find anything!"  
  
"You do the same."  
  
He took off for the house, trying the door as soon as he could reach it. It opened and he quietly stepped in.  
  
The entryway was narrow and rather dark, most of the light streaming through dirty windowpanes. There was a single bulb that lit the end of the hall with an orange hue.  
  
There was a small staircase to his left and doors along the wall to his right. It was eerily still, empty, and silent aside from a voice that sounded like it came from an old crackling record.  
_  
Little Bo peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them..._  
  
The voice of a young child sang slowly. It sounded soft and innocent and yet, not completely right, it was a bit off key and strangely sorrowful.  
  
Roman hesitated, looking for the source, but it must've been in a different room, and he wasn't about to waste time finding it.  
  
He slowly closed the door behind himself and called out, "Dean?"  
  
_Leave them alone and they'll come home, wagging their tails behind them..._  
  
When he got no response, he tried the first door. It led to a room filled with junk, not unlike the porch.  
  
_Little Bo peep fell fast asleep and dreamt she heard them bleating..._  
  
Making sure no one was there, he continued to the other doors one by one, by one.  
_  
But when she awoke, she found it a joke, for they were all still fleeting..._  
  
They were each very similar, all filled with little light and anything from old, broken toys, to rusty saws and chains.  
_  
Then up she took her little crook, determined for to find them...  
_  
A claustrophobic feeling was creeping up in him, pushing its way through his defenses.  
  
He had to find Dean soon.  
  
_She found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed, for they'd left all their tails behind them._

* * *

 

  
Dean hadn't known what was happening, one minute he was standing next to his friends, the next minute there was a hand tight over his mouth and he was being ripped away. He instinctively bit at the palm but all it got him was dull nails digging into his cheeks more.  
  
A strong arm across his shoulders and chest was holding him up against someone. He knew it was Bray.  
  
For a moment his mind went blank of the plan and his own feelings as a new panic filled him. He stumbled along, not wanting to lose what little control he had of the situation, but next to his ear was a dark voice that whispered to him.  
  
"Obey, Dean."  
  
And that was when everything in his head had gone fuzzy, and now he was in a room upstairs alone with Bray Wyatt who was eyeing him with contempt.  
  
"How  _dare_  you doubt me.  _I_   _saved you, Dean!_ How _dare_ you!"  
  
Dean cursed internally. He'd been hoping the connection had been lost after being away so long, but it became clear that Bray had just been in his head.  
  
He stood his ground despite the knot in his stomach.  
  
"Bray-" he pleaded, knowing there was no use lying about it now.  
  
"How  _could_  you, Dean? I showed you love and mercy, I  _healed_  you!"  
  
Bray's words sent guilt running through Dean, who looked away for a moment. His eyes landed on a dark scar on his hand.  
  
"I'm not sick or broken... I don't need you to 'fix' me."  
  
Dean's words were so quiet, he didn't know if Bray would actually hear them, but he couldn't bring himself to say it again.  
  
He felt an odd sense of guilt and fear in saying it, even though he had every right to.  
  
"Did  _he_  tell you that? Did Reigns tell you that?"  
  
When Dean didn't answer, Bray gave him a sad look.  
  
"Dean?" Roman's voice suddenly called through the house, causing Dean to startle, instinctively looking to Bray in panic.  
  
The bearded man put a finger to his own mouth, and Dean obeyed by keeping silent.  
  
Bray spoke again this time, quietly.  
  
"Where was he when you needed him, hm? They abandoned you, Dean. Remember? Your so-called brothers abandoned you. Your father abandoned you. Your mother might as well have abandoned you. Everyone leaves eventually, don't they?"  
  
Bray took a step closer to him, but Dean barely noticed. The problem was that everything Bray was saying was true, how could he argue when he knew he'd lose?  
  
Bray was always right. Always, always, always. Bray was always right, and no matter the game, Bray always won.  
  
"See Dean, you aren't an easy one to love. You're just not worth it."  
  
The back of a hand stroked his cheek and then moved roughly to his jaw, forcing him to look at Bray.  
  
"Remember how alone you were?"  
  
  
_It’d felt like an eternity. Bray had left Dean there after he had refused to submit to him.  
  
The memory of that even felt distant.  
  
He'd been alone for so long. Not a sound or a touch to keep him company. He could physically feel his sanity slipping.  
  
He'd tried calling out for help but it was no use. He was utterly alone.  
  
_  
Dean's mind wandered at the words and he nodded slightly.  
  
Bray smiled, looking not unlike the way you'd look at an injured animal, it was a smile full of degrading pity.  
  
"You just aren't meant to be loved. Part of it is inborn, and the rest is your own fault... You're the reason they all leave."  
  
Dean clenched his teeth, trying to think of how to respond or even take that. It wasn't much use though when he knew Bray was just being honest.  
  
"Fretting about it will do nothing." Bray took his trembling hands and held them tightly in his own.  
  
"But see, that's the beauty of it, Dean. You are worthless and yet I'm still here. Can't you see I love you? Why would you leave the only one who never left you? Why would you leave me, Dean? Why would you do that?"  
  
  
_Time had continued to pass. On, and on. His thoughts didn't make sense anymore and he desperately craved human contact.  
  
The hunger was something he could ignore for the most part, but this solitude was driving him up the walls.  
  
What little sleep he got was haunted by nightmares and waking brought no relief. He was living a nightmare. At least in his dreams maybe someone would actually come when he screamed their name. _  
  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Was all Dean said and it was hardly even audible.  
  
"I knew you would be. You just had to come to your senses and see. You owe it to me, but more than that you need it, Dean. My love? It's all you've got. I was the one who saved you from your own sick mind, not him."  
  
  
  
_He was completely delirious and barely hanging on.  
  
He'd heard the sound of that door opening so many times in his mind that this time he didn't even bother to look up.  
  
Someone crouched over him where he'd been left with his wrists bound tight.  
  
A hand pushed his hair out of his face and he gazed up to take in the sight of Bray Wyatt.  
  
"My sweet Dean, I'm here now. There's no need to worry your fragile head."  
  
Dean froze as the man bent even closer to kiss the top of his head. In any other circumstance he would've resented the touch, but he just couldn't. In fact, he was grateful for it and almost leaned to it.  
  
"That's right, you need me. You are a lamb easily led astray, but I will lead you. You need me, Dean."  
  
He knew Bray was right. Dean needed him and owed him his allegiance.  
  
No one could love him. No one would stick around. Bray had done both. Bray had shown him mercy and compassion and he couldn't simply ignore that.  
  
He lifted his head as much as he could to see Bray's face.  
  
"Thank you," it broke as Dean said it but it didn't matter. Bray lit up, a grin slowly spreading across his face. _  
_  
“Don’t stray.”_

 

* * *

  
  
  
Roman was feeling more uneasy with every empty room he entered.  
  
_It happened one day, as Bo peep did stray, into a meadow hard by..._  
  
He was beginning to doubt anyone was even there but him.  
  
_There she espied their tails side by side, all hung on a tree to dry..._  
  
"Seth?" He called, praying that if Seth didn't respond, it was because he wasn't in the house. He wouldn't put anything past Bray, and with his weird obsession with Dean, he'd probably do just about anything to anyone who hurt him.  
  
_She heaved a sigh, and wiped her eye, and over the hillocks went rambling..._  
  
A creaking sound came from overhead. Someone was upstairs.  
  
_And tried what she could, as a good shepherdess should, to tack again each to its lambkin..._  
  
He darted for the steps and made his way up, wishing he'd taken something from one of the rooms for a weapon.  
  
At the top of the stairs were more doors, all closed.  
  
Suddenly Roman's phone buzzed against his leg and he pulled it out to read the text.  
  
-AJ: found seth. responsive but banged up-  
  
Roman tried to take a deep breath. Seth was going to be alright. He just had to find Dean.  
  
-Roman: get him to the car. still searching house-  
  
He moved to the closest door, about to open it when his phone when off again.  
  
-AJ: cant. hes deadweight-  
  
Roman cursed. That was going to complicate things.  
  
There was a hard crash and a thump.  
  
"Dean?" He yelled.  
  
"Roman!"  
  
Roman's eyes widened at the sound of Dean's voice, and he turned to the door it had come from.  
  
Opening it revealed the cause of the sound.  
  
Dean was in a heap of crates on the floor, cursing under his breath as he pulled himself up.  
  
"Dean, you alright?" He looked the man up and down as Dean examined the new scrapes across his arm with more agitation than concern.  
  
"Where's Bray?"  
  
Dean jerked his head in the direction of what Roman now saw to be an open window.  
  
Roman swore in a growl and grabbed Dean’s arm, tugging him along. Dean yanked his arm back but continued to follow regardless, which didn't faze Roman at all, it was a pretty Dean-typical move.  
  
“Did he hurt you?" Roman asked as they made their way down the stairs, and through the house.  
  
"I’m fine.”  
  
"What'd he say to you?"  
  
"Nothin’ worth repeating."  
  
_At least he knows Bray's full of shit._  Roman thought as they approached the sheds, headed straight for the one by the barn.  
  
"Wyatt! Get out here!" Roman yelled out over the racket of crickets and cicadas.  
  
The sound of something slamming against the shed wall and a pained yelp from AJ were heard.  
  
"Bray, please-" Dean started while Roman dragged the door open without hesitation.  
  
"Boys, don't move!" AJ gasped out as they stepped inside.  
  
They quickly saw why. Bray had one arm around Seth's dirty frame, holding the smaller man up against himself while the other arm had a knife positioned at his throat. They were backed up against an old table that’d been pushed to the wall, pinning AJ tightly by her middle.  
  
Seth was covered in dirt and blood, a lot of it dried where it'd spilled, his eyes were full of horror and he was motionless.  
  
"I'll kill 'im!" Bray screamed, keeping the knife dangerously close to Seth’s skin.  
  
Roman instantly put his hands up in surrender and side glanced at Dean.  
  
Dean looked pale as he stared at Bray and Seth with wide, unblinking eyes. Other than his shaking hands, he was entirely still. Roman wished Dean hadn’t come, it was now clear that even with all the steps he'd taken towards recovery, he hadn't been ready for any of this. Roman was dying to give him any sense of comfort he could, but he looked to Bray again instead, knowing any move he made, especially towards Dean, would be disastrous.  
  
A devious grin spread across the twisted man's face as he took in just how much control he had over the situation.  
  
He then spoke slowly in a hauntingly sing-song voice,  
  
_"Safe at home in the fold, free from danger and cold; while it follows the shepherd and does what it’s told, little lamb is home to stay..."_  
  
He was hungrily eyeing Dean who didn't budge.  
The look Bray was giving him would've made anyone in their right mind want to run but, Dean Ambrose wasn't exactly known for being in his right mind. Or maybe it was just because he knew Bray so well. Regardless of the reason, Dean didn’t just back down.  
  
He put his hands out towards Bray slowly.  
  
"Bray... Don't do this."  
  
Bray seemed to consider him for a moment before laughing darkly.  
  
"Oh? You don't want me to?” He nodded towards Dean. “C'mere, little lamb."  
  
 "Dean, no! Don’t-" Seth desperately yelled.  
  
Bray swiftly moved so that the knife was between Seth’s quivering lips. It clearly wasn’t the first time the blade had met them, as trails of dried blood showed where they’d been heavily slashed up and down before.  
Now it was digging deep into the corners of his mouth, causing fresh blood to run down his face as a mangled cry escaped him.  
  
"Dean!  _My little lamb!"_  Bray shouted wildly over the sound, dragging the weapon further with each word, "Come to me!"  
  
Without hesitation this time, Dean walked straight to him.  
  
The whole situation was going downhill faster than Roman had ever imagined it could. Bray had Seth right where he wanted him, AJ was trapped behind them, and Roman was dead in his tracks near the door. Dean was the only one who could do anything other than Bray.  
  
The problem was that Dean wasn't acting right. Even standing by Bray’s side, he made no move to attack. There were many ways he could've disarmed Bray, all of which Roman knew had to be rushing through Dean's mind because his brother's thoughts seemed to naturally work that way. But still he made no move. Bray was getting to him.  
  
He glanced at Roman with a mix of emotions, as Bray pulled him close with his other arm to kiss his head.  
  
What scared Roman most wasn’t the terror or pain in his eyes, it was the hopeless resignation.  
He felt sick watching the scene but had no choice to do anything else. Bray moved to Dean's ear, whispering something to him, gaining a sharp intake of breath before he moved back again to look at Dean’s shocked expression.  
  
Dean looked down at the knife that had just been placed in his hand.  
  
_"While it follows the Shepherd and does what it’s told, little lamb is home to stay..."_  Bray was practically singing now, looking not unlike a giddy child.  
  
Dean squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head violently.  
  
Roman pleaded, "Dean, don't listen to him. He’s messing with your head!"  
  
_"For the lamb had been hurt, brutal snares had entwined, but the shepherd has healed it, how loving and kind! Little lamb is home today!"_  
  
“Fight, Dean! C’mon, fight!”  
  
With a look full of shame and guilt, Dean made to return the blade to Bray's hand, but before he could pull his arm back, Bray curled his fingers down around the handle again so that they both held it.  
  
"Dean, why would you listen to those liars? Don't you trust me?"  
  
Dean squeezed his eyes shut again and bit his lip, nodding slightly.  
  
Obscenities filled Roman's mind and he could tell the same went for AJ too. They'd overestimated the situation. Dean was slipping into Bray's grasp and there was no backup plan. They'd have to think fast.  
  
"That's right."  
  
Bray moved Dean's hand to hold the tip of the knife to Seth's back.  
  
"He stabbed you in the back, Dean. Show 'im what it feels like."  
  
Roman watched carefully, and while Dean hadn't moved the knife away from Seth's back, he hadn't plunged it into him either. It was painfully clear that Dean was warring with himself on the inside.  
  
AJ looked like she wanted to say something, but never did. What could she possibly say? What could they do? Roman didn't know. Anything could startle Dean, and if they came off as a threat in any way at all, it'd be the end of Seth.  
  
He stood there helplessly, and time felt like it stopped for a moment before everything happened at once.  
Bray had Dean's hand again and the knife was shoved forward, causing Seth to scream out and tense against the blade before it was ripped back out, AJ took that moment to shove hard against the table, taking Bray by surprise and knocking him to the ground.  
Dean stumbled, and then just stood there gripping the knife still, staring down in horror at the blood that was now pouring from Seth's back.  
  
AJ was yelling something about hurrying, as she lunged at Bray, but Roman couldn't concentrate on anything other than Dean's violent gasping, repeated shouts of "no", and the profuse bleeding from Seth's back.  
  
Dropping the knife as if it were on fire, Dean lost all stablity, but Roman just pushed him out the way with barely enough time to catch Seth as he fell.  
  
AJ shrieked obscenities, raining down on Bray with endless punches.  
Roman knew she could only hold him so long and they'd have even less time to stop Seth's bleeding. He scooped up his brother as gently as possible and turned to Dean.  
  
"C'mon!"  
  
Dean was wide eyed and motionless.   
"This is my fault..."  
  
_"Dean!"_ Roman snapped loudly, rattling Dean from hysteria. "We don't have time, come on."  
  
An unreadable expression crossed Dean’s face for a moment as he stared at Roman, but he followed nonetheless as Roman ran to the car.  
  
Seth moaned a little as the movement jostled him.  
  
Even through the urgency, Roman couldn't ignore the similarities of how he was now laying Seth in the backseat like he'd done with Dean the day they'd rescued him. Dean slid in on the side by Seth's head, adjusting him so that he was elevated just a little against his lap, keeping Seth from choking on his own blood.  
Dean quickly pulled his jacket off and put it over Seth's front, and then took his shirt to put pressure on Seth’s back. Even still he must have been losing a lot of blood, Roman could tell by the look of dread on Dean's face.  
  
Roman spared no time in getting to the driver's seat and pulling around to the shed.  
Locking the car and dashing back inside, Roman found AJ slashing at Bray with the knife as he attempted to make his way to the door. It was obvious by the way he kept shoving AJ off, despite the wounds she was inflicting on him, that there was only one thing on his mind; getting Dean.  
It wasn’t until she ran and pounced on him, pulling him down from behind, that he really reacted to her attack. That time she’d stabbed the knife right into his shoulder, which only seemed to make him furious. He wanted Dean and they were standing in his way.  
  
“AJ!” Roman shouted as Bray finally threw her to the wall.  
  
 Bray barely even stood before Roman charged and speared him back down.  
Not missing a beat, he heaved Bray up and threw him straight through the table. At least that’d slow him down a bit.  
  
“You good?” Roman asked as AJ appeared at his side.  
  
“Yep, let’s go.”

* * *

  
  
It wasn't long before Roman and AJ were back in the car. Dean had been trying to comfort Seth between deep breaths. Seth's skin was clammy, eyes were shut tight, and soft whimpers escaped his lips.  
  
_His lips,_ Dean thought, wondering how many stitches he’d need. There wasn’t much he could do to stop the bleeding from Seth’s face, but it seemed minor compared to his back. Dean could feel warm blood starting to seep through the wadded up shirt in his hand.  
  
If they didn't get him help fast he was going to bleed out in Dean's arms.  
  
"C'mon, Seth. Don't you fuckin' leave me." He couldn't control the way his voice quivered as he spoke, but somehow saying something felt less helpless than nothing at all.  
  
"I know running from fights is sort of your thing these days," a short laugh escaped Dean but it was more of a gasp for air than anything, "Not this time Rollins. Don't do it this time."  
  
He kissed Seth's head softly and spoke into his two-toned hair.  
  
"I need you. Don't you dare leave me again. Please, I need you."  
  
Seth didn't respond and Dean immediately noticed how shallow his breathing had grown.  
  
He had already lost too much blood, and it wasn't stopping.  
  
"Where's the closest hospital?"  
  
This was way over their heads.  
  
AJ was already looking it up on the GPS as they sped away from the compound.  
  
"Thirty-five minutes." she said gravely when she saw.  
  
Dean swore loudly.  
  
"Fuckin’ useless! If you're gonna have a place for emergencies,  _at least_  put it nearby!"  
  
He could feel himself slipping into panic again. What he'd just said was totally unreasonable, he knew that, but he didn't care.  
  
There was absolutely no way Seth would last long enough to get him the help he needed. Unless...  
  
Dean thought fast, slipping his belt off and leaning a little towards the front of the car.  
  
"AJ, look in the glovebox, there's a lighter. Give it here." he urged.  
  
"What?" AJ questioned as she began digging through the glovebox.  
  
"Just trust me."  
  
Roman made a frustrated sound when AJ retrieved the lighter.  
  
"Dean, I thought you quit."  
  
"Yeah. I did but somehow being betrayed by my own brother didn't sit very well with me, okay? Now, want me to save 'im or do you wanna sit here and argue about my bad habits?"  
  
He took the lighter from AJ and forced himself to take a deep breath.  
  
"'Ey Seth, this ain't gonna feel good, okay? Here," he folded the jacket sleeve tightly and stuck it just between Seth's teeth, "Bite."  
  
Seth's bleary eyes grew a little wider but Dean just sat him up and pushed him forward so that he folded onto himself, his back facing Dean.  
  
"Breathe, Seth." He reminded as he flicked the lighter.  
  
AJ turned at the sound and shook her head quickly as she took in the sight of Dean holding his belt, with the buckle in the flame.  
  
"No, don't you dare.“  
  
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Dean replied flatly.  
  
She stared at him, unsure and then silently turned to take Seth's hand.  
  
Once Dean was sure the belt was hot enough, he dropped the lighter to his lap.  
  
"Bite down."  
  
And with that, he put the metal to the wound.  
  
He had hoped the shock from the injury would've been enough to spare Seth most of the pain, but judging by the awful sounds that filled the car, it was not.  
  
"I know, just a little more..." he spoke softly as he repeated the motion.  
  
"Rome, turn the heat on, he's freezing."  
  
Dean looked over the now seared skin, making sure it looked well enough.  
  
It looked as good as possible, all things considered.  
  
He gently laid Seth back down but in a way that kept the area from contact with anything.  
  
Seth had passed out, which wasn't really a surprise, but whether the cause was excessive pain or blood loss, was something Dean didn't want to think about.  
  
At least now the bleeding had stopped, even there still was no promise that Seth would be okay.  
The damage was already done, now only time would tell.  
Time was what they didn't have. No time. No certainty. Nothing but a desperate plea with fate.  
  
He brushed Seth's hair out of his unconscious face, and pressing another kiss to his head, Dean whispered,  
  
"Please don't leave me again."


	11. Rectify

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I hope you are all well! I've returned from my trip out to the middle of nowhere, and I made it back alive! Ta-daaah!  
> But back to business, I've made a few changes within this story. Nothing plot changing, I just tweaked part of chapter one.  
> Enjoy!

Slipping.

Seth was slipping.

_No._

He had to hold out for them. For Roman and Dean.

Didn't he?

But the pain was all consuming. It was  _everywhere._

It was everything Seth felt, it was the air that rattled his lungs, the dull thoughts in his head, the ever-fading lifeblood through his veins.

And it was fading.

His life was fading.

Bray had it all in his hands. He had everything down to a science it seemed. He'd broken Dean, he'd broken Seth, and he was surely breaking Roman. Roman had been trying so hard to keep Dean together. Dean, who had been through so much. Far too much to throw it all away for a traitor.

That's all Seth was. A traitor.

Bray had seen him for what he was since the beginning, he'd seen and even  _he_  had tried to give Dean more than Seth had.

Bray knew it. He knew Seth was selfish and he'd been slowly taking him out.

Everything so precise.

Bray had been a row of sutures holding him together. Whether Seth wanted him to or not. But slowly,  _carefully_  they were ripped out, one by one, causing pain as they went but not quite bringing the reprieve of death. Not yet.

_Slowly, slowly, slowly,_

Fading.

He was fading.

Mind, soul, body.

Slowly fading.

And now he was cold, so cold.

So weak. Heavy.

Dean was begging him.

No, Dean was...  _hurting._

Dean was hurting, and he was the one causing it.

Fading.

_"They'd be better off without me."_

_"Don't you dare leave me again."_

Everything echoed in his mind.

_"Seth Rollins, my brother, you are scum."_

_"I need you."_

_"You stabbed me in the back, you son of a bitch!"_

_"Please don't leave me again."_

Fading.

Darkness.

* * *

 

Dean had stayed with Seth the entire time. By his brother's side until they'd arrived at the emergency room and Seth had been taken away for treatment. Forced to stay behind, Dean became an absolute wreck. Bray had been his crutch for so long that he still hadn't quite gotten a handle on emotional regulation, and it was showing.

Roman had hardly said a word as they waited, and AJ had been taken to get her own wounds tended to.

Eventually Dean gave up his hopeless struggle with his nerves and wandered the place, looking for anyone who might have a cigarette.

 _Fucking stupid hospital. We're all dying anyway, might as well enjoy yourself._  he thought, annoyed that no one around looked at all like they'd have what he was looking for, or would even be approachable on that kind of subject.

The judgmental looks the staff kept giving him were enough to tick him off on their own. It didn't help that he'd gotten scuffed up during everything. He didn't give a shit about it really, he had cuts down his arms but he'd refused to let them touch him. He was wearing his jacket again, now zipped up to hide his bare torso. Underneath, he still had Seth's dried blood all over him. Sure, he needed to clean himself up, but that didn't matter to him in that moment. He wasn't going to be able to focus on anything else until he had some sort of fix. Anything to take his nerves down a bit.

He finally found what he wanted when he made his way to the entrance. He could hear the lady at the front desk on the phone, talking in a raspy voice.

 _Chain smoker,_ Dean was willing to bet.

When she hung up the phone, he casually leaned against her desk and made sure to smile with his dimples, laughing flirtatiously as they talked.

He then told her that he was worried about his brother's critical condition, fabricating a bit after asking her if she happened to have a cigarette, saying that he wished he could go pick some up for himself but that it would be too risky to leave the building with the state of his brother.

He normally didn't care too much for using the sympathy card, but he wasn't afraid to either.

Next thing he knew, he was outside, cigarette between his lips and half a pack in his back pocket.

Momentary bliss.

He'd known how to work his charm for years. He didn't get why but there was just something about dimpled cheeks and that "just rolled out of bed" look that people liked. He honestly didn't get it, but it'd gotten him what he wanted on multiple occasions, so he didn't put much thought into it.

For the time being he'd try not to put much thought into anything, which was sort of a joke, but that wouldn't stop him from trying.

He was almost done with the cigarette but he didn't want to go straight back inside, not unless Seth was out. It wasn't just that he'd smell obviously like smoke, which Roman wouldn't be happy about, but also he couldn't stand the silence between them.

He was still angry and confused about Roman hiding Seth before, but he couldn't think about it at the moment. He couldn't handle hearing whatever Roman had to say for himself, he knew it was childish, but he just couldn't.

So he locked that thought away for a while, instead thinking about his own sins.

He felt like he'd let everyone down. He was ashamed that he'd been too weak to stop Bray, and everything that'd happened was his fault.

Roman had been so good to him and he'd ruined it. And maybe this was it, maybe Roman would finally leave him just like everyone else.

It was all his own fault.

* * *

 

Seth had been moved to a private room, Roman and AJ left to find a hotel nearby, and though Seth was still unconscious, Dean had absolutely refused to leave. They'd reasoned that he'd be safe in the hospital with its security. Dean couldn't leave his brother's side though. He wouldn't do that.

So there he was, lounging in a chair in the corner of the room, watching a battered Seth Rollins' chest rise and fall with each breath. He looked awful but Dean was just thankful to have him there at all. And now that he was clean, Dean could see every mark Bray had inflicted upon him.

Deep gashes covered him, similar to what had been done to Dean, only instead of words they were meaningless and erratic. Dean had seen one word however, TRAITOR was carved across his chest in jagged lines that overlapped each other like it'd been written and rewritten over and over.

Dean hadn't really let himself dwell on the subject though because it made him incredibly uneasy...

Instead he noted the stitches all over Seth's lips, and the bandages over his cheeks that hid the damage there.

Dean hadn't seen the spot on his back yet... They'd told him his actions had saved Seth's life, but what they didn't know was that he was the one who'd almost taken it.

He frowned.

Actually they didn't ask much about the incident at all, which seemed totally out of character for those kinds of places. It was clear there'd been a crime, but where were the prying authorities? It was like any mention of the Wyatt Family had people turning their heads or pretending they hadn't heard. People were just that scared. Dean knew why... Bray Wyatt was not one to mess with, he knew that better than anyone.

He buried his face in his hands, trying to push the memories from his mind.

When he lifted his head again his eyes were met with a weak, brown stare.  
Utter relief washed over him at the sight of Seth,  _alive._  Maybe not alive and well, but alive.  
Neither Dean nor Seth moved or said anything, they simply looked at each other. Dean didn't know  _what_  to say, he hadn't actually thought about it. He hadn't talked to Seth as a brother in so long... All the things they'd said and done to each other, they were horrible. But he didn't feel angry now.

He'd all but taken Seth's life, and it'd come so close to that. So close to Seth dying right there in his arms. So close to everything they'd been through together being thrown away for good. Dean had thought all of that was gone already, Seth had trashed it all when he left them, but as Seth was drifting from the world, Dean could see that maybe there was still something to hold onto... a small shred of what they'd had before, and with that, maybe they could repair their relationship.

He watched carefully but couldn't read Seth's expression.

Neither of them dropped their gaze.

"Dean..." his name was spoken fondly.

For the first time since everything had fallen apart, Seth was addressing him with actual kindness.

Dean was overwhelmed with emotion and unable to help himself, he hopped out of the chair to wrap his arms gently around Seth,  _his brother._

There was a quiet hiss from the two-toned man but he hugged back all the same, softly burying his face in Dean's shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry, Dean. I'm so fucking sorry..."

"Shh Rollins, shut up you idiot." Dean joked, trying not to break at Seth's words. It was sort of ironic that of all the things Seth had done to break him down in the past, all he'd needed were two simple words.

But Dean quickly realized he wasn't the only one who was affected by them, because when he pulled Seth away so he could look at him, he saw tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Damnit Seth, I hate you." he laughed shakily, wiping away his own tears now before they could spill.

Seth gave the smallest of smiles before looking away.

"I mean it though... Everything I did to you, and all that I put you through with Bray..."

"I fuckin' stabbed you in the back."

"That was Bray-"

"I almost killed you."

Seth didn't try to argue, he just looked at Dean a moment before speaking again,

"Dean, if Roman hadn't been there for you, what I did would've killed you."

Dean was taken aback. It wasn't something he wanted to admit to, but it wasn't exactly something he'd deny either.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and climbed onto the bed, helping Seth scoot to make room.

"Well we're both still here, so let's just call it even, okay?"

"A draw?" Seth smirked.

Dean smiled back, knowingly.

"A draw."

* * *

 

It wasn't long until the nurse came to check on Seth and give him more painkillers. She gave the dirtiest glare at the sight of Dean on the bed, simply acting like that was where he was supposed to be. Though her annoyance was almost amusing to him, he got off shortly so she could examine Seth's back.

Dean watched as the bandage was removed, and right away he could tell there'd be a nasty scar there later.

He hadn't asked what all they'd done to the wound, it didn't matter much to him as long as Seth was okay.

They just had to make sure he stayed stabilized and that he healed without infection.

Dean only hoped the word wouldn't scar too much...

 _"Traitors are just desperate and strategic cowards who hold fear over morals. Now, I'm not a man of moral value... At least not by the standards of most people... But I'm not one to be controlled by fear either. In fact,_ I have control over fear. _I can send it into the minds of others, to torture them until they're ruined._

_Tell me, are you afraid now?"_

Memories of what Seth had been through made Dean feel sick to his stomach.

Trying to shake the thought from his mind, he stepped out of the nurse's way to go call Roman.

Not a moment later, Roman and AJ were driving to the hospital. Roman was filled with many emotions, mostly all good, but there was a bit of nervousness too. He'd be facing the man he'd carelessly sent off to be torn down. Of course he didn't know the Authority would hand him over to Bray, he still felt like he should've known better.

He knocked lightly before pushing the door open.

Dean waved from his spot on the corner of the bed, and Seth gave as much of a smile as he could manage at the sight of the two visitors.

"Hey, Seth how're you feeling?" Roman asked as he took the other corner of the bed.

"Eh. A little better, still really weak and sore."

"Can you ask for more meds?"

"Nah, I'm on the most they'll give me."

"Ah. Well then I guess it's just a waiting game now..."

"Yup." Seth nodded.

"Hey, AJ."

"Hi, Sethie. Has Dean here been keepin' you in check?"

"Oh always," he laughed gently at the irony.

"Yeah, little skunk here has been a  _surprisingly_  good patient so far." Dean teased.

Seth shook his head, trying to hide his smirk.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys-"

"Oh sorry I forgot, Pepé Le Pew."

Dean grinned at him and Roman tried to hide his amusement.

"Ugh,  _Dean."_ groaned Seth dramatically.

"'Ey, he's allowed to call you whatever he wants after what he did." AJ laughed.

Seth looked confused.

"What?"

Had Dean really not told him?

"Dean?" Roman looked at him questioningly.

"It ain't that big of a deal," Dean shrugged.

"What did you do?" Seth asked, brows knitting together as he looked at Dean and then the others, "Guys?"

Roman answered finally,

"He saved your life."

"I didn't do much."

Roman saw a light blush creeping across Dean's cheeks.

"Like hell you didn't!" AJ laughed in disbelief. "Seth, you were bleeding out... Dean cauterized your back using only things we had in the car. The nurses said you would've died if not for Dean."

Seth's mouth dropped open a little as he looked at Dean with astonishment and gratitude.

"Don't make a big deal out of it," Dean looked to the floor, "I wasn't gonna just let you die."

Roman looked at Seth.

"Do you really not remember?"

"I remember bits and pieces... I remember being in the car, I remember Dean talking to me... and then pain... burning and... Holy shit, Dean."

"It ain't that big of a deal." He repeated.

"Dean."

He looked up at Seth.

"Thank you."

Dean gave a small smile, "Sure."

* * *

 

They chatted a while longer and then AJ took Dean to go find food, leaving Roman alone with Seth.

"Really though, how are you? After seeing how Bray affected Dean..." Roman's voice trailed off, as he thought about it.

"I'm alright," Seth said, considering it for a moment before sighing and correcting himself, "I'm handling it."

"Look Seth, when I gave you back to the Authority, I was just doing what was best for Dean... I didn't know- I never meant for this to happen to you."

Seth shook his head a little.

"I don't blame you at all, Rome."

"Not only that though, I rejected your apology... That was a huge deal for you and I just pushed you away."

"It's fine, it's not like I really deserved it." Seth said with a shrug.

"I sent you through hell."

"Well what do you wanna call what I did to you and Dean?"

Roman frowned, wordlessly.

"See my point? I say we just pick up the pieces and try to move forward... How's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan." Roman smiled.

When AJ and Dean returned with their hands full of vending machine items, because apparently neither of them felt like eating hospital food, Roman looked at Dean closer.

"You look exhausted, man."

He knew at some point they'd need to discuss what'd happened at the compound, but not in front of Seth.

"What'd you expect? You know I hate these places."

 _Right._  Of course he wouldn't get good rest in a hospital. Not to mention if Dean ever let himself fall asleep around someone, it was an enormous sign if trust. People he didn't know, coming in and out the room as they pleased, surely made it next to impossible for him to get any rest. Especially with the way he startled at any unexpected noise or touch ever since Bray.

"I know you do, but you need rest. You're coming with us to the hotel tonight." Roman said it kindly, but he made sure it was a command.

Dean would buck him, he knew it. But Roman knew he needed to do what was best for him, because it seemed he might not be ready to make all of his own decisions quite yet after all.

"I can sleep when he gets out." Dean said, turning to Roman.

"Dean."

"I'm not leaving."

 _"Dean,"_  it was all Roman could do not to snap at his brother's adamancy. "A word please."

Obviously aggravated, Dean stepped out to the hall, Roman close behind.

"What?" Dean said as soon as the door was shut behind them.

"What do you mean 'what?' You've been slipping ever since Wyatt called! You've been moody and difficult, and I'm sick of it to be honest."

Some other visitors walked past quickly, only eyeing them for a moment before scurrying away.

"I don't need this. It's my own thing, and I'm dealing with-"

Roman's voice rose louder than he'd wanted but he wasn't exactly in a position to care, "Stop it! Stop fucking acting like you have everything under control!"

"It is under control!"

"You fucking  _stabbed Seth!"_

As soon as those words left Roman's mouth he knew he'd gone too far.

Dean stared at him furiously for a moment before turning down the hall without a word.

Roman instantly followed, only a step behind.

"Dean, listen I didn't-"

"No, you're right. I tried to fuckin' murder him. But y'know, it's whatever, man. Just some classic Dean Ambrose for you, always losin' it and going nuts on people. I get it, it's fine."

"Stop, Dean. I didn't mean it like-"

Dean stopped and whipped around suddenly.

"Then what the hell  _did_  you mean Rome?"

His mouth twitched a little when Roman couldn't answer.

"You meant it. I know you did because it's the truth." he snapped, "Just spare me the lies already."

Why did it feel like there was more to Dean's words than the accusation?

"What are you saying?"

He put a hand on Dean's forearm but it was quickly jerked away.

"I need some air."

"Dean, don't run away like this. We need to talk."

He tried again but Dean lashed out, shoving him to the wall.

"I can't do this right now, okay? I'll go with you tonight, whatever, but I can't do this now."

And with that Dean was gone.

Roman groaned and went back to Seth's room.

 _What am I gonna do with him?_ he thought, mind still on Dean as he opened the door.

"Everything okay?" Seth asked with concern when Roman sat again.

"Yeah, he's just... Being Dean."

Seth raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that an improvement?"

Roman thought a moment.

"It is, and I want him to be his own unpredictable self." Roman sighed, "It's just that he's on edge, and he seems more closed off... It's like day one all over again."

"Rome, his trust was broken twice, he's been used, manipulated, brutalized... Most of what little love he's ever given has been used against him. There's no short or easy fix for any of that, he just needs time."

"Not to mention he's probably overwhelmed with everything right now. Facing Bray again, having Seth back, and still just trying to get back to regular life." AJ added.

"I know, I just worry about 'im."

"We all do." Seth replied sadly.

Roman nodded.

"He started smoking again."

"What? No." The younger man groaned.

Roman nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah apparently he'd been doing it since you left..."

Seth swore quietly.

"We'd better talk to him and make sure it doesn't become a habit again now that his life is back in his control."

"Yeah, good luck with  _that."_ Roman rolled his eyes, no doubt recalling how much it'd taken the first time.

Sure enough, when Dean returned just before the end of visiting hours, he smelled faintly of a cigarette he must've bummed off of someone.

Roman gave Seth a meaningful look.

"Dean, why do you smell like smoke?" Seth asked slowly.

The other merely shrugged like it was nothing, acting as if they should've known.

Roman figured he might just be right about that.

"We'd just gotten you off of that shit." he complained.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow with obvious skepticism.

"Cool it, Sethie. It's just a special occasion thing. Y'know, birthdays Christmas, a best friend bleeding out in your arms, stuff like that."

"I'm being serious here."

"So am I, man. You fucking scared me, you stupid piece of trash."

"How about this, no more near death experiences for me, no more smoking for you."

"Oh wow, I dunno Seth, you'd be giving up a lot. Are you sure you wanna do that?"

Seth rolled his eyes at the snide remark, but was suddenly distracted by a nurse who popped in with a business tone in her voice.

"Excuse me, visiting hours are now over, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave."

Dean wrinkled his nose but Roman spoke before he could argue.

"Thank you ma'am, we're leaving."

They said their goodbyes and made their way back to the hotel for the night, knowing Seth was safe and sound at last.


	12. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact- I revised this chapter while on a plane. haha (felt like the guy next to me kept trying to see what I was doing tho ...awkward)
> 
> As always, thank you all! :)  
> Enjoy!

Dean was instantly filled with suspicion when AJ dropped Roman and him off at the hotel before leaving for the store. He was sure Roman was going to try and talk to him. Honestly, he wasn't in the mood unless "talk" was another way to describe yelling and probably breaking things.

The choice wasn't his however, and Roman was up front about it.

As soon as Dean flopped out over one of the beds, Roman spoke.

"Dean, we need to talk about what happened."

Dean groaned a little.

 _Called it._  he thought bitterly.

He opened his mouth to protest but Roman cut him off,

"Don't start. We're doing this whether you want to or not."

"Wow Rome, who died and made you king?" he murmured into the mattress.

"Look, I just want what's best for you, and you stewing in your own head is the opposite of that."

Dean rolled over onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows so he could look at his brother.

"Please, Dean."

"I'm just sick of you bossing me around like I'm a stupid kid again. 'M fuckin' sick of being bossed around in general, actually. "

Roman looked away a moment.

"Well, after things went the way they did at the compound..."

"Gah, is  _that_  what this is about?"

"Sort of..."

_"What?"_

"I just don't know if you're as okay as you say you are."

As annoyed as Dean was by the comment -which was a lot- he wasn't actually sure that Roman was wrong.

"So you don't trust me."

"No, I do. I just don't get it... How did he get back in your head?"

Dean shrugged, aware he was no longer looking at Roman. How could he? He'd told Roman about the cooperation needed for Bray to do what he'd done.

"I mean, you didn't let him in, did you?"

Dean met his eyes wordlessly.

Thoughts raced through his mind, what was he supposed to say?

Roman started slowly again after the silence dragged on for an eternity.

"Y'know, I'd get it if he still had his claws in you, obviously that would be out of your control. But... why would you let him in  _willingly?"_

Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

"Right. So this is  _my fault."_

Dean felt everything trying to rise up in himself all at once. He desperately bit his lip, trying to keep from snapping completely.

"All I'm asking is for an explanation... I just need to know that I can trust what you're telling me."

That was when Dean let out a laugh so bitter that it even took him by surprise.

 _"You_  don't know if you can trust  _me?"_

Roman looked utterly baffled.

"Don't you trust me?"

It felt like a joke, only Roman was dead serious and no one was laughing.

"I mean you took me in, patched me up, helped me recover- you'd think I'd have the highest trust for you by now. But it's because of people like you that I can't."

Dean was trembling with rage.

"When were you gonna fuckin' tell me?"

"W-"

 _"When, Roman?_  You thought you'd just keep Seth a little secret? Did you all figure you'd get away with it and I'd never know?"

"Please, just listen-"

"No, I'm done."

"Listen to me!"

"You've been lying to me ever since you took me from Bray! Why would I listen to a single word you say now? Fuck you Roman!"

"What the hell, Dean? Everything I did was for your good."

Dean froze.

He didn't know why but those last words struck up something within him. Something that rendered him paralyzed in mind and body.

But why? His thoughts were going everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"Hey... are you alright?" Roman stepped slowly forwards, gently brushing hair away from Dean's eye.

_"This is for your own good."_

Dean squeezed his eyes shut tight until the thought cleared. He felt a slew of emotions overwhelm him, and he was still shaking despite the fact that his anger had been washed away.

 

He motioned for Roman to stop, feeling a million miles away.  
  
"Talk. Distract me."

* * *

 

So Roman sat and explained everything, making sure to cover all the details and not leave anything out that Dean would want to know.

Dean took deep breaths and listened quietly.

"I promise you I never wanted to keep things from you, I just thought it'd be better for you if we did. I guess I figured it wasn't going to come back up, so it wasn't important... I was wrong though and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry we hurt you, I'm sorry for keeping secrets, I'm sorry for going behind your back. I never meant to hurt you, and I just ask for forgiveness."

Dean thought on it a little while, chewing his lower lip, before nodding.

"Just don't make me regret this."

He looked so weary.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I- I dunno..."

Roman simply looked at Dean, patiently waiting for an explanation.

Dean shrugged and sighed,

"It was just so easy to give in, y'know? I was so sure I was free... But I guess not."

"It's not your fault."

"Then why can't I shake the feeling it is?"

Roman thought on that a moment before answering.

"Because that's how he wants you to feel. He may not be actively controlling you, but that doesn't mean his ideas aren't still in your head."

A sickened look came over Dean at that. Roman felt guilty for pointing the fact out, but he thought it was probably better for Dean to be aware.

"Great. Because I totally needed even more reason to doubt my screwy mind..."

"'Ey now, I love that screwy mind of yours. C'mon man, you'll beat this, I know you will."

He ruffled Dean's hair a little, gaining him a slightly agitated look.

"So... Do you think he got to Seth like that too?"

Dean shook his head.

"Nah. It would've been obvious... It's not the easiest thing to go through unless you're actually willing. Bray wouldn't have taken the time to coerce him, so there would be serious effects on Seth mentally if he'd tried to force it."

"Oh." Roman didn't know what to say, it wasn't something they'd really talked about yet and it was clear that Dean knew what he was saying, no doubt from experience.

"But he still put Seth through hell."

Roman nodded, looking at Dean who seemed preoccupied with the thought.

"Dean?" he spoke gently, "Did he try to force you?"

Dean's eyes locked with Roman's before he looked away like he was trying to figure it out for himself first.

"I'm sorry, that's personal"

"No no, it's fine. I just..." He took a deep breath before sitting up again on the bed. "I haven't really told you my side of things yet have I?"

Roman shook his head.

"You don't have to."

"No I should, you need to know. I just- don't judge me okay? And please don't be mad."

"Of course not."

"I guess it really all started after Seth bailed... I couldn't stop myself from questioning everything, y'know? Like I wasn't in my head, everything just became about getting back at him, making him pay. And you had your whole 'one versus all' thing goin' for you, and I had my own things goin', so I just tried not to let it get to me. But, I missed you... and him. I dunno, I became this sort of lone wolf, lashing out at people, keeping to myself... So anyway, Hell in a Cell happened, y'know, all  _that_  went down." He waved his hands around to imply everything that'd taken place in the ring.

"And after the cameras were off, things went bad. I dragged myself backstage, blah blah blah, you know how it goes. So anyway, I'm goin' out to my car and like no one's around. Next thing I know, Bray's up on me. And then I'm waking up in the back of a car, bound in fishing line or some shit, and like I fucking know how to get outta most stuff easy, cuffs, zip ties, ropes, whatever. But fucking fishing line is a new one for me...and he wasn't messing around with it either, he knew what he was doing. So I'm lying there, fuckin' tied up, and he notices I'm awake, which is terrible because then he starts with all this 'lost lamb' bullshit, like I'm his fuckin' pet."

* * *

 

 _"_ There _we are! Sleep well, little lamb? You were out a long time." Bray asked in a pleasant tone as if there were nothing wrong with the situation._

_But it was so wrong._

_Dean was bound and gagged and thrown in the backseat of Bray Wyatt's car. He was on his way to who knows where, blindfold over his eyes and no hands to pull it off._

_Everything was wrong._

_Normally he'd have been able to get out of binds around his wrists easily without a problem, but the line was so tight that it felt like it was cutting into his skin even without him tugging at it, and the position he was tied in didn't help the situation at all._

_He managed to move himself against the seat a little so he wasn't flat on his stomach, but he still felt uncomfortably vulnerable without his sight._

_"Don't fret, now." Bray said softly at Dean's squirming._

_A million escape plans ran through his head as he tried to wiggle against the binds, but soon the gentle shaking of the car stopped and a door was thrown open near him._

_Feeling Bray's hands run up him, he panicked and immediately started bucking as much as he could manage, his only defense in that moment.  
It didn't matter. Bray still yanked him out of the car, and he was thrown down onto concrete, where he inched himself away as fast as he could. His back hit a wall not long after and his stomach was quickly kicked repeatedly._

_He made a desperate attempt to distance himself from the blows, but it was no use._

_His bad shoulder was stomped down on roughly and ground against the floor._

_"You'll thank me for this." Bray muttered darkly before Dean heard steps and the sound of a door being shut, leaving him there alone._

* * *

 

  
Dean explained how Bray had left him there for weeks on end. He recalled the dark quiet that felt like it was just waiting to consume him into its deadly nothingness. The only breaks from the awful void were when Bray would bring him food, which was rare. He became weak and Bray made sure to keep it that way so that Dean couldn't fight him.

Eventually things got more intense. Bray could see he was getting nowhere with Dean's state of mind and something needed to be done. That was when knives were introduced and things went from bad to worse. He'd tried to fight it, he really had. And after the fight had left him, he'd done his best to hold on. No matter how hard he tried Bray's words kept finding ways to slither to his very core, and slowly dismantle him piece by piece.

It should've been horrifying, and it had been to begin with, but didn't Bray want to help him?

There came a time when Bray stopped coming all together. Bland meals were set out for him while he slept and even those were showing up less often, not to mention they seemed to get smaller day by day.

It was then that he swore he was slipping for good. Darkness and solitude, no will to go on. He refused to eat, could barely sleep, and even breathing was a burden he resented having to bare.

"They say it's always darkest before the dawn... I experienced that for myself, at least I thought so. I hate it, the way I fell right into his grasp, but I guess when all hope seems lost you start lookin' for a savior in anything."

Dean laughed humorlessly.

"I'm no stranger to that. Y'know, you can turn to alcohol, drugs, crime... Bray was no different. I practically came crawling to him, desperate for anyone's help."

He looked down at his fidgeting hands, ashamed.

"I guess when you really hit rock bottom, anything looks better than what you've got."

Roman gently put a reassuring hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean took a deep breath and looked to Roman again, continuing.

"You know, it really wasn't too far from any of those things either... I think at that point, part of me still knew I was making an awful mistake, but y'know, you trade that for a rush or a high, maybe a night you're not alone with your thoughts anymore... Yeah it's a shitty idea, but everything else is shitty so what's it matter?"

"Even then he was already in my head in a way. He knew exactly what I longed for and he knew my darkest fears. He knew what it took to break me down and exactly what it'd take to put me back together, he knew that well and he used it all against me."

He paused, trying to read Roman's expression because what he was about to tell probably wouldn't be easy for his brother to hear, no matter how big of a detail it was. But it was a very big detail; it was the point at which everything started to change... So he continued on with his story.

"Somewhere along the line, he became... Protective almost. I guess it was more of a possessive thing, but he played it so well. It was little things like the way he would comfort me or the way his touch became loving instead of harmful. Then he brought me into the house, cleaned me up, nursed my wounds, fed me, held me close at night... He made me think he really cared."

* * *

 

_"Dear sweet Dean, you need to eat." Bray was seated next to him, stroking the back of his neck softly._

_Dean hadn't felt much like eating for the past few days. It seemed like every time he tried, he ended up eating too much, too fast and he felt awful at best, or lost the contents of his stomach at worst. Normally food was a comfort to him, but ever since being literally starved half to death, his body refused everything he tried._

_He poked at the meat and potatoes in front of him with his fork, lost in the thought. Though, he was fully aware of Bray watching him still and he knew he wasn't leaving the table without eating at least a little, no matter how that happened._

_He sighed and took a small bite, not wanting to repeat what had happened the last time he'd completely refused. Food was even_ less  _appealing when it was being roughly forced into you._

_But Bray would do what was best for him no matter what._

* * *

"There's a certain uneasiness he gives off... Not just that he does eerie like nobody's business, more like this... Essence that you feel almost radiating from him. You'd think it'd ease up after staying with him for so long, but it only got worse. It was different though, I wasn't anxious when he was close by, but the further he was from me, the more nervous I felt. The distance began getting shorter and shorter. I could hardly go anywhere without him unless I wanted to break into a panic attack. He became the only only one I called out for at night. He became everything to me. He was the one that kept me safe from the world. I trusted him with my all, and in my mind, I owed him just as much."

Dean put his face in his hand.

"It happened one night... We'd had an argument about something earlier that day and I remember yelling at him. I asked him why he didn't just leave me."

Biting his lip, Dean looked at the floor.

"I couldn't have told you why I said it then, but I think know now... It was a test. I was afraid to lose him. I don't think it was just that though, I think I was scared to death that if he gave up on me after everything, if this delusional freak that I  _somehow_  related to, the very man who called me his own, could be pushed to abandon me... Then I'd know I was nothing but a lost cause."

* * *

 

_"Why don't you just leave me?" Dean viciously shouted from where he stood in the yard._

_Bray, who was seated in a rocking chair on the porch, simply stared at him, calculating eyes glaring just beneath the brim of his hat._

_The slow rocking didn't stop, he didn't stand, Bray simply stared before quietly speaking._

_Two words._

_"Get out."_

_Everything in Dean went numb and his eyes widened._

_"What?"_

_"Get out of here, Dean! You heard me! Leave!" Bray stood suddenly and moved to put his hands on the porch railing, leaning as his words took the most venomous tone._

_"You think I need you? You think you're actually_ worth _something to anyone else out there?" Cruel laughter spilled from Bray and he shook his head._

_"Go on, you'll see! I'm not stopping you. Run along, little lamb! Run along!" He laughed again and waved his hand in the air as if mimicking some erratic path he imagined Dean taking._

_Dean opened his mouth to speak but was sharply interrupted,_

_"But know this_ Dean Ambrose, _when you are lost and hurt and all alone, no one's going to come for you... No one. Not even me. I will haunt your dreams and revel in your nightmares, I will violate your every thought, I'll lurk in your shadow but I'll never seek you out, everyone will see my touch on you and they'll stay that much further away, Dean. You'll always be mine, no matter what. And though you can't escape me, you'll never be by my side again. Not until we're both where we belong, Dean! Side by side, rotting in Hell!"_

* * *

Roman wordlessly pulled Dean into a one armed hug, rubbing his back gently.

"Thanks." Dean leaned his head against Roman's broad shoulder, taking comfort there until he finally spoke again softly.

"Basically he told me that either I should fall in line with his will, or get going. ...I was so scared. If I'd been thinking clearly, I wouldn't have done it, but-"

He shut his eyes and shook his head.

"Hey, slow down, it's okay now."

Roman hugged him a little tighter and Dean took a shaky breath.

"I did what he wanted the rest of the day, no questions, no input whatsoever. Everything seemed okay again until that night..."

* * *

 

_Dean was met with a low humming as he came out of the bathroom where he'd just bathed and thrown back on his jeans._

_Following Bray's voice led him the bedroom where the man was seated on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on him._

_Whatever Bray wanted wasn't anything Dean was personally interested in, he only wanted to go to bed, but he had a familiar feeling he wasn't going to get to just yet._

_He made to stand across from Bray, but the man gently took his hands and pulled him to sit close, singing to himself instead of humming now._

"You would like to have your way,

On the lonely hills to stray,

Where the hungry lion hides,

Where the fiery serpent glides."

_There was a loving and kind side to him that most would never know existed. Quite often he'd play that way to get what he wanted, but this was different. This was a Bray that was caring and kind. The basis of his motives was probably questionable, but Dean figured at least it was something._

_What wasn't surprising was the man's singing. It was a fairly regular occurrence and Dean had for the most part gotten used to it. The next few lines in particular were what caught his attention however, giving him an idea as to what Bray wanted from him._

"I would have you lie at rest,

Little lamb, upon my breast;

You shall be my sweet delight

All the day and all the night"

_He sang softly, in a low voice._

_Dean listened, warily watching him._

_"Dean, do you trust me? Do you trust my love for you?"_

_His hands moved to cup Dean's face._

_"Of course I do... I just-"_

_Bray pulled him so that their foreheads were pressed together._

_"Then let me in. After everything I've done for you, and all I ask is for a simple act of trust in return... That's all. What do you have to lose, Dean? Tell me, what is it?"_

_Dean held his gaze, thinking about it before looking away._

_"I can't-"_

_Bray's eyes narrowed dangerously, and he pushed Dean away._

_"I know exactly what you have to lose. I know it because I gave it all to you."_

_"Bray please," Dean went to rest a hand on Bray's but he was swatted away sharply._

_"I can take it all away Dean, I can rip it right from your desperate grasp. Without me, you have_ nothing."

_"Please..."_

_"Little lamb, would I ever hurt you?"_

_Dean didn't actually know how to answer that... Or maybe he just didn't want to._

_"Bray-"_

_"Don't you see this is the only way for me to help you? I'm trying to heal you, Dean."_

_Dean bit his lip. It was such a bad idea. How could anything good come from letting Bray Wyatt have access to his mind?_

_"This is for your own good."_

_Bray took Dean's hands and gave them a squeeze, singing again as he did._

"Though you have a wayward will,

Little lamb, I love you still;

Come to me and be forgiven,

I will bear you safe to Heaven."

* * *

 

"I let him in that night. It was an awful decision and I was an idiot to fall for it."

He rubbed at his shoulder and then dug his nails roughly into his collarbone but Roman stopped him.

"Dean no, you thought it was your only choice."

"And when has that ever stopped me before?"

"This is Bray Wyatt we're talking about here."

Dean nodded a little.

"Look, it happened, okay? That's all there is to it. It happened and now you're going to stand tall and decide where to go from here."

"Yeah, only it was my fault. I agreed to it. He had every right to-"

"Stop it. No he didn't. It wasn't your fault at all, he fucking manipulated you."

Dean shrugged.

"But see, to begin with I was fine with it... I mean, it wasn't something I really wanted, but I went with it and I was okay. But little by little he was breaking me down. He would go a little further each time, he started delving into things  _I_  don't even like to think about... I asked him to slow down, but it was pretty clear I'd lost control. There were days when I didn't have it in me to push back and keep him away, I just submitted because it felt easier at the time. Those days started becoming more and more frequent up until he knew all of the ins and outs of my mind and gained the control he'd been waiting for."

Dean raked his hands through his hair when his voice faltered at the end.

"He always wins, Ro. What am I gonna do?"

"Nothing."

"What?" Dean was taken aback.

"You're not doing anything alone. If there's any good that's come from all this it's the fact that it's brought us all together again. The Shield's been repaired, and Bray Wyatt's gonna have to face all three of us."

Dean smiled a little and Roman put an arm around him.

"Thanks, Rome."


	13. Hell and High Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for your kind words and continued support!
> 
> Enjoy!

That night was full of tossing and turning. Dean's mind was plagued yet again by unspeakable things, causing him to wake more frequently, and that was if he was lucky.

Roman seemed to be doing his own stirring here and there but nothing bad enough or lasting long enough to wake him.  
Towards dawn, the two brothers ended up on the couch watching something mindless on the TV at a low volume.  
Dean was sipping a cup of hot tea AJ had made for him in hopes of soothing him, and Roman had fallen asleep again leaned up against Dean's shoulder.  
It really was reassuring for both of them and Dean silently wondered what he'd done to deserve the kind of patience and understanding that Roman kept showing him.  
He stroked Roman's hair lightly and smiled a little.  
Though he was happy, he wondered what he could ever do in return. He knew Roman would never ask for anything, or even expect it, but he still felt guilty because he couldn't even seem to keep himself out of trouble. Not to mention that was already something that worried him all on its own. Why did Bray still have him?  
He had an idea but it made his stomach churn just thinking about it.  
During the argument he'd told Roman about, Bray had told him that if he left, they would never be the same again... Maybe it was as simple as Dean flat out denying him.  
But "simple" was not the word Dean would use to describe it. He was having a hard time just avoiding Bray's hold, how on earth was he supposed to tell the man to his face that he didn't want anything to do with him anymore. And even worse, how was he supposed to tell Bray that and fully mean it?

_He gave you everything. He healed you._

_No, that's not true._

_You need him._

_He took everything I had and made it his own._

Hadn't he? Bray had selfishly twisted everything around for his own good.  
Dean just prayed that he could not only put things back how they were, but that he'd be able to keep them that way as well.  
At least now he had his friends on his side. To him, that was more than enough.

* * *

The next couple of days were spent in and out if the hospital so that if they weren't all visiting Seth, at least one of them was. The way they were becoming so close again was a pleasant surprise. Not to mention how AJ and Seth had even taken to each other in their own friendly teasing way.  
He was going to be released soon and that meant it was almost time to hit the road and put some distance between them and the compound.  
Things were far from over though. As much as they'd have loved to put it all behind them and move on, he knew Bray wouldn't let it go so easily.  
In his eyes, they'd stolen from him. Not only did he want to make them pay, he also wanted what he claimed was his... Or rather who he claimed was his, because in this case that was Dean.

"Seth, are you alright?" Roman asked him, pulling him from his thoughts.

He nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"'Bout what?" AJ prompted, leaning on her elbows.

"Our next move."

Roman sighed a little, "You're supposed to be resting, not planning your next near-death experience."

"Hey, let him talk." Dean said over Roman, gaining an annoyed look.

Seth flashed a quick smirk to Dean alone before speaking again,  
"Well I don't have a plan yet but we're going to have to act faster than we were thinking... If we don't move first, he will."

Dean nodded in agreement.

"Look, I agree with you Seth, I do. I just think we need to be careful. Maybe just a little more time." Roman argued.

Dean rolled his eyes before turning to Roman.  
"We've  _tried_  that, look where it got us." He motioned to Seth propped up in the hospital bed.

Seth could see that Dean had just hit a nerve when Roman's eyes darted to him.

"You think I don't know where the hell we are, Dean? Do you think I just  _overlooked_  the fucking part where Seth almost  _died?_  You think I didn't take into consideration the fact that I damn near lost  _both of you?"_

"Roman, easy." AJ said putting a hand out.

He took a deep breath, catching the worried yet defensive look Dean was giving him.

"I'm sorry, okay? I can't lose you guys again."

Seth swallowed, unable to look at them anymore.  
Roman was right. He  _had_  already lost both of his brothers once before.  
Seth to vanity and a lust for power, and Dean to shadows and darkness.  
While one was lifted high, into the spotlight, the other was buried low beneath his demons.  
And where had that left Roman?  
Seth hadn't really thought about what must've been going through Roman's mind those weeks before Dean's rescue.

All he knew was that they really owed him for holding them all together again.  
For the time being they'd just have to plan as carefully as they could with what little time they'd have.

* * *

Seth's release day was somewhat tense. They'd all gone to pick him up which had evidently embarrassed him for reasons unknown to them.  
Pride had always been more of a big deal to him than his brothers. Roman could be proud but knew when not to care, while Dean on the other hand had pride in himself and ignored any one who thought badly of him; In fact, Roman sometimes got the impression that Dean fed off of that sort of thing. There were many times he could recall Dean doing things just to get a rise out of someone or just because he could and he felt like it.  
It was nice though, seeing him be so sweet to Seth. Maybe it was purely out of guilt, or fear that Seth would abandon him again, but no matter the reason, Roman couldn't help but smile as Dean pulled the younger man carefully to lean against him in the backseat.  
Seth hesitated but then complied, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist, ignoring Roman and AJ in the front seats.  
Sure maybe Seth was annoyed at them all but he didn't let that stop him from being held.

Roman remembered the screams he'd heard through the phone not so long ago. Seth was harboring all of that... Clearly what he'd gone through had been horrible, but he hadn't said a single word about it, probably for Dean's sake.  
They'd eventually need to talk about it but Roman wouldn't push him.

No one really spoke on the ride home, they'd gotten their initial excitement out and now Roman swore he could literally feel a cloud of dread over everyone in the car. They'd won the battle, but the war wasn't over yet.

When they got back to the hotel, Seth left to take what he said would be a "real shower" while the others set out the food they'd picked up on the way. They were all mentally exhausted by that time so they ended up at a fast food joint, ordering a load of miscellaneous items to share.  
Dean had eaten a whole box of french fries before they were even able to get everything on the table.

Seth was out rather quickly and returned to them, his battered torso still exposed. He turned his back to the big mirror outside the bathroom so that he could look at the damage, his face unreadable.  
Roman tried not to stare, but Dean was completely preoccupied with the sight.

Seth lightly brushed his fingers around the spot and then winced a little, unaware of the eyes on him.  
AJ looked up a few times but like Roman, she was clearly trying not to.

"Where'd you guys put the TV remote?" She asked, looking at Dean.

No answer. Dean was still watching Seth, who had turned to face himself finally. His eyes went to his face next but quickly moved on. With the same lightness as before, he traced the cuts across his chest.  
Roman looked away again, pointing to the bed.

"It's over there. Dean can you get it?"

Dean wasn't even that much closer to it than AJ but Roman felt it'd be better for Seth not to see him staring.  
Dean nodded and did as he was asked, getting up and tossing it to AJ.

Instead of sitting down again though, he grabbed something from his duffle bag and moved to stand next to Seth.  
He caught the other's eye in the mirror and held his gaze for a moment before Seth looked away.  
Dean's eyes fell on the word TRAITOR again before he held out what must have been a shirt to Seth.

Seth turned and looked at him then to which Dean gave a small but genuine smile and nod.  
Seth muttered his thanks but it wasn't until he pulled the shirt down over his head, that he really reacted.

"The Hounds of Justice" it read.

It was one of the old Shield t-shirts Roman had given Dean.  
Clearly Dean had chosen the shirt specifically for Seth, and there was no doubt that Seth understood exactly what was meant by it.  
Dean patted his shoulder but was quickly pulled into a full hug by Seth who buried his face in his brother's shoulder.

Roman smiled slightly at AJ who was pretending to pay attention to the TV as she flipped through the channels.

Dean ruffled Seth's hair playfully before they went and sat with the others.

"You losers ready to see a sprinkle factory?" AJ asked, leaving on How It's Made which was probably the safest bet as far as TV went.

"Why would anyone wanna know how that shit's made? Ruins the illusion." Dean said, grabbing a burger and slumping into the couch.

Roman laughed, "How did you  _think_  they got there?"

"I dunno, magic fuckin' butterfly fairies or some shit."

Seth practically snorted at the ridiculous explanation, and Dean's dimples showed as he joined the group's laughter.  
Roman really had missed Seth's stupid laugh and just having his boys together in general.  
He'd die before he let anyone tear them apart again.

* * *

_"Dean! Please, I'm begging you!"_

_Dean was leaning over Seth's body which looked frail and weak._  
_Seth was pleading with him but he wouldn't listen. His body didn't want to. His mind was a mess and he couldn't tell if he actually wanted to do the things he was doing, or if his body just demanded it._

_He knew better though. He knew it was no coincidence that he was carving into Seth like a pumpkin._

_"Please just stop..."_

_The fight was leaving Seth and his breathing was slowing._  
_Seth was fading and Dean was the one responsible._

_"No! No no no no no!" Dean was trying to stop the bleeding but it was just too much. It was everywhere, covering both of them like there was no end to it. And Seth was screaming in agony. Dean had stopped touching him but he just kept screaming._

_He couldn't take it, he had to get help. He ran from Seth and slammed straight into Roman full force._  
_He wanted to tell Roman he was sorry, and that Seth needed help, but Roman was covered in blood now too and he just started yelling at Dean._

_"This is your fault, Dean! I can't keep fixing things for you! You're nothing but a screw up! You don't deserve any more chances!"_

_"I know, but Seth needs us!"_

_"No one needs you, Dean! Don't you see? You killed him!"_

_The panic was growing worse and worse in Dean._

_"No! Please! I never meant-"_

_"You let Bray do this! You let him have you! You killed Seth!"_

_Roman disappeared and AJ was in front of him now._

_"Don't you see you're nothing but a burden? You're killing Roman just like you killed Seth!"_

_"I didn't-"_

_"Don't lie to yourself, you know the truth! We all know the truth! You're broken beyond repair and it's time you let us move on. Go back to Wyatt. At least he wants you around."_

_Suddenly Dean was alone._  
_He was surrounded by mossy trees, and waist deep in swamp water. There was an odd smell in the air; not the usual swamp smell, but something else he couldn't put his finger on._

_"My sweet little lamb," Bray was standing in a tree that hung over the swamp._

_"Bray-"_

_He couldn't ask for help, not from Bray._

_"What's wrong, Dean? Hm? Tell ol' Bray what's wrong." The man's words were almost teasing like he knew the answer already but wanted to make Dean beg._

_"Nothing. I'm fine."_

_But the water began rising slowly and he couldn't move._

_"Oh I bet you are."_

_An evil laugh laugh._

_"After you killed your friends. They tried to tell you, Dean._ I _tried to tell you. But you just couldn't listen couldn't you? That's one of your problems, you never listen to what's good for you."_

 _Dean shook his head frantically._  
_"Stop it."_

_Bray laughed longer at that._

_"Look around. I don't see them, do you?"_

_Dean was trying his hardest to block Bray out, putting his focus on struggling against the water that was almost to his shoulders now._

_"You know what I do see though?"_

_No answer._

_"I see their blood. It's on your hands Dean. You killed them. Their blood is on your hands."_

_Copper. the air smelled like copper._

_Dean's eyes widened with realization to which Bray started laughing maniacally._  
_He didn't smell swamp water or copper... it was blood._

_"I can heal you, Dean! Just take my hand!"_

_He was neck deep in it._

_"No, don't touch me!"_

_"Only I can save you! You_ need _me!"_

_Dean was sure he was going to be sick._

_"No, Bray! You're wrong! Get away!"_

_Bray stared at him for a moment before turning his back to Dean._  
_"So be it."_

 _The swamp rose, slowly drowning Dean in the blood._  
_He wanted to yell for help but he was already suffocating. He had just turned away his last chance of survival and now he would drown in his own sins._  
_There was so much blood, and he couldn't breathe, and all he could hear was Seth screaming-_

Dean jolted awake to the sound of Seth screaming. It took a minute for him to realize where he was and who he was with. He felt sick to his stomach as he remembered the nightmare.  
He was covered in sweat and trembling slightly, but he ignored everything he was feeling so that he could comfort Seth.

"Seth, Seth. It's okay Seth, it was just a nightmare. You're safe with us now." He moved to where Seth could see him before rubbing the man's arms rhythmically. Seth had goosebumps along his skin and he was breathing too fast, while muttering something unintelligible.

Roman sat up too, but didn't move to Seth like Dean had. Probably so as not to crowd and overwhelm him.  
Both Roman and Seth had experience from calming Dean when he had nightmares, while Dean had the firsthand experience from being on the other end of that.  
They'd put Seth in the middle of the two of them because Dean had suggested he'd probably feel the safest there.  
AJ had a bed to herself as usual. She had been woken by the screams as well, but she still looked out of it.

"C'mon man, you need to breathe. Deep breaths," Dean said and then took his own deep breaths, mostly meaning to encourage Seth, but also calming himself in the process.  
At least focusing on his brother was keeping his own nightmare from his head for the time being.

Feeling the chill of Seth's skin, he pulled the comforter up and wrapped it snugly around Seth's shoulders.

Seth took the edges of the blanket and held it there tightly, as his breathing slowed back down. With an exhausted look on his face, he leaned to lie against Dean who held him against his own chest.

Once Dean could tell Seth was asleep again, he slowly lowered him to his pillow once more.

_This is your fault._

_No one needs you._

_You killed them. Their blood is on your hands._

_I can heal you Dean._

Dean's mind was racing. The images were creeping back up; and the  _smell_.  
All of it made him feel like he was drowning again.  
He needed to get out.  
He needed the night air to fill his lungs.

_You need me._

_No._

He rubbed his face in his hands and pulled at his own hair before getting out the bed.  
He couldn't stand it, he felt like he was going insane.

_You need me._

_I can heal you, Dean._

He slipped his pants and shoes on but didn't bother with a shirt. He wanted to clear his head as soon as possible.  
The others would be mad if they found out he'd snuck out while they were sleeping, but he was in a hurry, and honestly a little sick of being treated like a kid.  
  
_Dean..._  
  
Quietly stepping outside, he violently shook his head.

_Come to me little lamb._

_You don't have to be lost any longer..._

He thought about going out to the car but he didn't have the key and wandering just seemed like the better option. He was restless and walking at least helped with that, and was usually helpful to clear his head as well.

 _Oh where, oh where has my little lamb gone?_  
  
Usually.

 _Oh where, oh where can he be?_  
  
He wandered down the sidewalk, the old, buzzing lights from the awning above him as his only light.

 _Deeean..._  
  
Panic was rising in him. He knew it was irrational but he felt vulnerable and needed to get out of the open.  
Turning the corner led him to the side of the hotel where the only light was what little reached from a streetlamp in the parking lot.  
He retreated into the alley there, between the graffitied brick building and a tall wooden fence.

"My sweet little lamb..."

Dean slammed a fist against the wall, over and over. Nightmares had become a regular occurrence for him, why was this one getting to him so badly?

"Come here."

He hit harder now, childishly hoping it'd help shake the thoughts out of his head.

"Get out!"

"What are you talking about, dear?"

"Get- out- of- my- head!"

With each word he punched the wall harder. He could feel his fist bust open but it didn't matter. Maybe it would at least distract him.  
He continued until he was sharply grabbed by the wrist.

"That's enough now."


	14. In Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: You are all lovely, you know that? I had a pretty difficult week, so thank you for brightening it with your reviews :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dean's breath caught and his entire body felt nonexistent. It was like he had suddenly ceased to be, which was what he'd have chosen if it were something humanly possible, but it wasn't, and despite how he felt, he was still trapped in an alleyway with the man he feared most.

"Wouldn't want to open old wounds now would we?" Bray said as he pulled Dean, still by the wrist, to face him.  
  
The damage had obviously already been done to Dean's knuckles, he didn't get what the weirdo was on about.  
But Bray looked him straight in the eye, wiping the blood from Dean's hands with his fingertips, and trailing them across Dean's bare chest.  
  
Dean bit his lip and somehow with a flash of courage, or either panic, managed to jerk his throbbing hand away from Bray. In the same motion, he stepped further into the glow of the streetlight. At least there he'd be able to see the man fully.  
  
Bray smirked slightly which sent a chill through Dean who, until then, had thought he'd just gotten the slightest bit of an upper hand.  
But the smirk was sick and it scared him, so he looked away. The last thing he wanted to do was show weakness, especially when nothing had even happened yet, but there were a lot of things he'd only done because Bray wanted it so; this was no exception.  
  
His eyes moved to where Bray had touched him, just beneath his collarbone.  
LOST had been traced over that very scar in the blood from his fist.  
  
Opening old wounds... was it a threat?  
Regardless, Dean knew he needed to get inside with as little words spoken as possible, but he also knew Bray better than to think he'd get that.

"How could you do this to me, Dean?" Bray asked sadly shaking his head.

Dean opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.  
He probably should have run away the second he'd gotten his wrist free, but like his voice, his legs didn't seem to be very willing.

"After everything I did for you, everything I gave you..." Bray took a step closer.

"How could you choose  _them?"_ His voice sounded genuinely hurt but this wasn't the time to question the man.

"Bray... I didn't choose-"

"Don't." Bray shouted, making Dean flinch. "Don't you dare. You can't lie to me, little lamb. You're mine remember? I know you better than even you do."

Dean simply stared at Bray, even as he stepped closer.

"You know you really shouldn't have given yourself to me if you didn't mean it."

That hit a nerve.

 _"Give myself to you?"_  Dean laughed mirthlessly. "You fucking manipulated me! Not to mention, I dunno, the kidnapping, beating, downright torturing, and whatever the hell else you did that I don't even remember because of the  _brainwashing_! And now you have the  _nerve_  to stand here and blame me for that shit?"

Bray raised his eyebrows at Dean's outburst.

"How are you so blind? You need me, Dean. There's no rest for people like us. You need me. I can help you, just like she helped me."

"Don't give me that Abigail bullshit-"

Dean was instantly backhanded across the face with enough force to make him stumble back a little.

"Don't you dare talk about her, you hear me?" Bray roared before shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. When he looked at Dean again, his face was sad, like a father who'd just punished his child.

"Don't do this, Dean. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

That was definitely a threat.  
A threat that left Dean no other choices. Bray would do what he wanted as always; it was only a matter of if Dean would let him or if he'd have to force his way.

Dean felt helpless, be he made himself speak in the best threatening voice he could muster in that moment.

"I'm not afraid of you." he growled.

Bray only laughed softly, gaining a glare that could cut through to his soul if he'd let it.

"Oh no my precious lamb, it's not me you need to fear..." He made to cup Dean's cheek with one hand but Dean jerked away as if the hand were covered in acid.  
In a way, it might as well have been. The way Bray spoke to him and touched him ate away at his defenses with no way to stop it.

"Bullshit." Dean retorted, speaking just to hold some form of control.  
  
Bray only smiled slightly like Dean had just said something sadly charming, before he spoke again.

"Say what you want, but I know you Dean... I know the real you. I know all of the parts of you that you hate. The ones you keep hidden, the ones you fight everyday..."

Bray was close to his face now and ordinarily Dean wouldn't have let him even half that close, but he was being disarmed by the words being spoken breathily across his face.

"Your demons, Dean."

He hadn't even noticed Bray backing him up to the brick wall until his body met it in the shadows.

"Now I told you that you could use 'em, but I didn't tell you the reason why... You weren't ready to hear it back then."

Dean's eyes darted back and forth between Bray's. He hated the apparent power Bray had over him that kept him silently frozen.

"I don't wanna hear-" he tried, but Bray quickly took each of his hands, pinning him against the wall roughly as a clear sign of control.

"I know you don't little lamb, but I wasn't asking. I'm telling you."

He stared Dean wildly in the eye for a long moment, daring him to say another word.

"See Dean, most people have demons that follow them. Demons that prey on them from the shadows..."

Dean listened and didn't even fight the hold, though the backs of his hands were beginning to throb as Bray ground them harder into the brick surface. Something about the way Bray spoke to him kept him hanging on each word.

"But don't you see? We live in those very same shadows. You and I, we belong here in the darkness..."

And that was when he got closest yet, overwhelming Dean with panic as his lips barely missed Dean's skin and he whispered,  
"We  _are_  the demons."

He left a light kiss on Dean's jawbone before pulling away to look at him again.

Bray only spoke again when Dean opened his mouth in attempt to reply. He clearly had been enjoying simply watching Dean squirm. He always did. It was why he was always taunting him and pushing his boundaries. Though some of it had been genuine care -or at least in a messed up Bray Wyatt way- other times he just liked watching how incredibly uncomfortable he could make Dean.  
This time was a little of both.

"See, those demons inside of you? They  _are_  you, Dean. They're a part of you you've denied for so long you don't even recognize yourself there... But I do. I see you for what you are. And I see myself there as well. We are one and the same, little lamb. You cannot run from this simple truth."

"Dean! Where are you?"

Bray slammed his hand over Dean's mouth hard enough to split his lip at the sound of AJ's voice.

Dean's eyes widened and he struggled against Bray who had him pinned to the wall again. He desperately needed for AJ to find him before Bray made that impossible.

He bit at Bray's hand as hard as he could, tasting blood he wasn't sure belonged to who, but Bray just pushed against him harder.

"Dean?"

He gave another hard bite and a quick twist of this head, pulling Bray's flesh with the small motion.  
Bray cried out and yanked his hand away.

"AJ! Over here!"

"I'll see you again soon." Bray whispered before yanking Dean by the hair to plant a kiss on his head. Soon after, he disappeared into the shadows, escaping down the alley while humming softly.

"Dean!" AJ was at the other end of the alley now, running to him.  
"What are you doing out here? Is everything okay? You sounded like you were in trouble."

He wanted to move, to not look as scared as he felt, but he couldn't. It seemed Bray was always controlling him whether he meant to or not.

"Dean?"

"Smoking. I need to- I was- smoking."

His words weren't coming out right, he didn't really know what he'd wanted to say, but that wasn't it.  
He didn't know why he was lying about Bray either... Maybe out of fear that the man was still in earshot? Or maybe he worried that AJ would be mad, like it was his fault Bray had come, like he'd wanted him there? He didn't trust himself when it came to the topic of Bray Wyatt, but he was 99.9 percent sure their encounter was the  _last_  thing he'd wanted.

"Are you alright? What happened?" AJ's eyes were wide at the sight of Dean up close.

"I'm fine. I was smoking." He repeated the lie because his brain couldn't make up any other words just yet.

AJ raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

"I know smoking is bad for you and all, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't leave you looking like  _that."_

"Can we go sit down?" Dean was breathing heavily and he just needed a moment to process things.

"Yeah. We're not keeping this from the boys, but Seth's trying to calm down from another nightmare, so we'll at least clean you up some before going back in. Just so we don't cause mass hysteria."

Dean nodded, following her lead to the other end of the parking lot, where the ice machine stood.  
He sat on the curb as AJ payed the machine.

"Here," she handed him the bag of ice and sat next to him.

"How bad is it?" He asked in a still quiet voice.

She wrinkled her nose.

"Just go ahead and ice it. The sooner the better."

Dean grunted and did as he was told.

"Soo, we gonna talk about this or what?"

"Bray Wyatt is a psychopath. End of story." Dean replied, pulling out a cigarette from where he'd stashed it in his pocket before leaving the room. He hadn't really intended to smoke it, not right after promising Seth he wouldn't, but it was just comforting to know he had it and could if he needed to. Running into Bray Wyatt was on the top of the list of things that made him need to.

AJ stared at him, obviously waiting for him to elaborate on what'd happened.

He lit the cigarette before doing so.

"I had to step out for some air, Bray snuck up on me and rambled a lot. I spoke badly of Abigail," he pointed to his swollen cheek.

"And the hand was my fault." He said simply, taking some water off of the ice bag with his clean hand and trying to wipe away the blood on his other. Then he did the same thing with the word on his chest. He wished he could wipe himself completely clean of it, scar and all, but Bray had a lasting affect that wouldn't be that easily forgotten.

"So he was here? How do you know he's not like, watching us now?"

"Because Bray don't miss opportunities. If he'd come here to take me, I'd be gone already. We're safe at least 'til morning."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, positive." he threw what was left of his cigarette across the parking lot, and stood up. "So if its dark enough inside to get away with it, can we just wait until then to tell them? They need their sleep, and we can't even leave tonight anyway or he might follow us."

AJ got up too, sighing.

"Okay. But only until morning."

Dean nodded, dropping the half melted ice in the trashcan along the way.  


* * *

 

"Where  _were_  you, man? Fucking scared us all to death." Roman said as soon as they were in the room again.

"Sorry. Um... I stepped out for a smoke."

He could feel the look of disbelief and annoyance Seth gave him, even in the dark.

"Look, it's been a rough night okay?"  
Dean crawled back into the bed.  
"You're not the only one with messed up nightmares, remember? Hell, I should have taken you with me."

"Okay boys, can we all just drop it and go to sleep? Preferably  _before_  the sun rises?"

"Yeah," Roman said. "You two can squabble in the car tomorrow."

Dean smoking would be the least of Seth's worries by then, but Dean tried not to think about it, staring at the ceiling.

Seth turned over so that he faced Dean, and wrapped his arms around the older man, muttering sleepily,

"I just worry about you."

Putting his arm around Seth as well and turning to nuzzle his hair, Dean whispered back,   
  
"I know Seth, I know."


	15. Call to Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient and bearing with me, seems like there's just always somethin' going on..  
> But anyway, here you go! Hope you enjoy it!

"Dude, what the hell happened to your face?" Roman's voice startled Dean and Seth awake. His hand brushed the hair out of Dean's eye, making him jolt with fright.

When Dean saw it was just his brother, he closed his eyes again.

"Shit Rome, don't do that." he groaned.

It really had shaken him. He didn't blame Roman, but he wished it were easier for people to remember things like not touching him while he slept.  
Seth was asleep across his chest, but it didn't bother him because it'd happened overnight and he'd gone to sleep knowing who was by his side.

He'd just gotten sort of used to not being considered by Bray, and it bothered him when the ones who  _did_  care made him feel the way Bray had.

"No seriously, Dean. What happened?" worry was rising in Roman's voice.

"Can I wake up fully first?"

Dean knew he was being a pain, but he felt far from rested and didn't want to start the day with demands.

"No."

He groaned again.  
The topic of Bray Wyatt was one he'd rather put off forever, but that was impossible and wishing wouldn't do a thing, so he scooted up on his elbows, gently moving Seth to rest on his stomach.

"I went outside to get air, ran into Bray, aaand he hit me." Dean had tried to say it fast and like it was no big deal, but Roman stared at him in shock.

_"Bray?"_

"Yeah."

"AJ," Roman called to her as soon as she stepped into the room with her arms full of breakfast foods she must've picked up somewhere nearby. "You knew about this?"

She stopped and looked at Dean's face before looking at Roman again, "Oh. Yeah about that..."

"Why didn't anyone say anything?" Roman asked with a mixture of disbelief and anger.

"Cause I knew you'd flip the fuck out like this," Dean said, moving his gaze to Seth who was just barely waking. "He just wanted to screw with me and-"  
  
"Like  _hell_  he did! Dean, we're talking about the psychopath who took you  _hostage_ to _brainwash_ you."

Something in what Roman had just said caused Dean to feel defensive. It was hard to say whether it was because it felt like Roman was saying he didn't understand what they were dealing with, or because Roman wasn't listening and probably thought Dean was giving a skewed opinion because of said brainwashing. Regardless, he felt like he wasn't being listened to and it was frustrating.

His mind  _had_  been tampered with and was still damaged to a degree, but this was something he was sure of and he needed Roman to understand that.

"Roman trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"What's wrong?" Seth slurred quietly, peeking his eyes to look at Dean. "Your face..."

"Thanks guys. I  _know_  I look like shit. Do you gotta rub it in?"

"Sorry. What happened?"

Dean looked Seth in the eye. He had to tell him despite not wanting to. Seth already had enough to think about and was already scared out of his mind.

"Dean?"

Slowly Dean could see it dawn on him. The look of terror that spread over his face made Dean's heart sink.

"He was here?" Seth whispered as Roman moved to rub his arm comfortingly.

Dean nodded, "Yeah."

Seth cursed quietly to himself.

"What did he do? Are you okay?"

Dean remembered how close Bray had gotten. The smell of burning and soil, he could almost smell it just thinking about it.

"Dean?"

The things Bray had said were swirling in his head again, the guilt, the blame, the threats...

"Nothing. He ran his mouth and hit me but that's all he wanted."  
  
Seth sat up, "Back up though, are you okay?"

"Yes Seth, I'm fine."

"He's gone?"

Dean thought about that a moment.

"He should be by now. Either way we can't stay here forever."

"We'll just be super cautious and make sure no one follows us." AJ said as she sat down on the edge of the bed, coffee in hand.

Seth nodded but didn't look too convinced.

They just decided to settle with that though and enjoy breakfast for the time being.

* * *

 

Dean's face was worse bruised than he seemed to want to admit. Roman didn't know if he was being defensive for Bray, or if he was just being Dean. But it had to bother him, right? Roman desperately wished he'd heard the conversation that'd gone on between them. He knew even if Dean decided to go into detail, which was highly unlikely, he would probably even play that off like it wasn't as bad as it no doubt was.  
He seemed okay though, maybe he was just putting up a front, but he was at least able to do that.

Seth was holding up alright too. He was asleep, leaned up against Dean in the backseat. He was still pretty worn out, physically and mentally, but he was getting better.

AJ was at the wheel now, humming quietly with the radio.  
She'd wanted to let Roman rest in the passenger seat, but he wasn't getting much rest at all. His mind was buzzing with worry. He had a feeling Bray wasn't going to just drop his obsession with "saving" Dean so easily, even after he'd told him off.  
It made him furious. And now Bray had gotten to Dean  _and_  Seth.  
It also made Roman wonder if Bray would be angry at Dean for taking Seth back in, especially over him.

They were all ready for it to be over. Ready to just bury the hatchet and be rid of Bray Wyatt once and for all.  
The task would be much easier said than done though.  
For the time being he'd try to just relax, watching out the window as they passed rows of trees and turned onto an exit.

_An exit?_

They weren't supposed to take one for another few miles.

"We low on gas?" he asked AJ.

"Nope, we're goin' to eat."

"Not hungry." Dean mumbled from the backseat.

"When was the last time you ate, Dean?"

They all knew it'd been a while.

A short grunt was what she got for an answer.

"Fine, just no Cracker Barrel."

"Why not?"

They pulled past the building and Dean gave her a pointed look.

The exterior was surrounded by rocking chairs, and lanterns could be seen glowing through the windows.

_"Oh."_

It had elements, outside and in, that were just far too reminiscent of the Wyatt compound for even Roman to be comfortable eating there at that point.

"Okay, any objections to IHOP?"

"Still not hungry."

Now Dean was just being a pain.

"IHOP it is." AJ chimed, ignoring him and driving into the parking lot.

* * *

 

"I don't get it. I come in here to  _give them my money,_  and they won't even make me a fuckin' smiley pancake." Dean said, looking at the menu again after having just been informed by the waitress that he couldn't order off of the kids menu. "I don't get it. "

"Technically it's Rome's money." Seth pointed out, gaining an annoyed look from Dean.

 _"Technically_  you're a twenty nine year-old, grown-ass man who doesn't need a pancake with a face." Roman casually reminded him.

"It's got chocolate chips though. And I tip really well man, if I want a pancake face they oughta give me it."

"Still Rome's money." Seth reminded.

"Ugh, you guys are  _all_  kids. They should let you all get it." AJ said, rolling her eyes.

"Dude, just order chocolate chip pancakes like a regular fuckin' adult." Roman interjected.

"'S not the same."

Roman couldn't tell if he was trying to be a pain yet again or if he actually wanted the kiddy pancake. Weirdly enough, it felt like the latter... But he'd learned long ago not to question Dean's whims.

"Look I'll get 'im the damn pancake, just everyone please calm down." Seth interrupted, obviously recognizing that the argument that was growing wouldn't be worth it.

Not long after, Dean was happily snickering at the sloppily thrown together pancake, that according to him, looked like Brock Lesnar.

Seth had ordered the regular size and just requested a face be added to it. Roman didn't even know if that was something they offered, but the waitress clearly didn't care at that point. Besides, she didn't look so sure of them in the first place; probably from the muscle mass of the group and the wicked looking scars Seth and Dean both had.

Despite the boys trying to cover most of them with clothing, marks were still visible on their faces. Seth more than Dean, but still so.  
AJ said she'd overheard the staff whispering about them being in a gang, but it was better than getting recognized for the time being.

Seth was looking a lot better though. His color had come back mostly and though he'd thinned significantly while with Bray, he was slowly gaining again.

His mouth still looked pretty bad, but the cuts were no longer open and the stitches seemed to have helped a good bit.

Roman hadn't asked him about the deep scars that ran up and down his lips, but Seth had to know it brought up questions in the others. Though they remained too afraid to ask, and he remained reluctant to tell, so everyone sort of just ignored it.

Roman watched the man as he stared warily at his soup, eating only a little at a time. He'd all but gotten sick after their fast food run; his stomach still wasn't used to eating again just yet.

Dean had given him advice about how to start getting back on track, but Roman could tell Seth was frustrated by his newfound limitations. Even still, he'd heeded the advice and had ordered a simple chicken noodle soup, now slowly sipping on the broth.

Dean however, seemed to be eating well most days, though the little habit he had fallen back into was not lost on Roman at all.  
Dean was keeping food stashed all around. It wasn't something he consciously planned out, it was just something he did.

Survival was naturally programmed into the man. He'd had to fight all his life, so it made sense he'd have those tendencies. It made Roman feel bad for him though.

When they'd first started living together, Seth would get annoyed because they would always run out of things quickly, only to later find that it was because Dean had left them in the glove compartment, or in his bag, or somewhere like that.  
Eventually Seth realized it was more of a compulsion than anything, so he took to just buying things in double instead of hounding Dean about it.  
But Dean had really tried to get better, knowing it was irrational at that point in his life.

He'd made progress and the habit became something he did less often, but now it was clear to all three of the men that the habit was presenting itself again, thanks to Bray.

No one called Dean out on it though, if it brought him any amount of comfort, no one would say a word.

Suddenly Roman's phone went off, pulling him from his thoughts.  
When he saw the name of the caller, he knew it was someone he didn't mind interrupting the meal for... Not with so much to say.

"How the  _fuck_  could you do that?" He growled as soon as he picked up.

Triple H didn't even get a chance to respond before he continued.

"You  _saw_  what he did to Dean! How could you send someone there  _intentionally?"_

"Reigns." Hunter started, only to be cut off again.

"You sent him off like an animal to the fucking slaughterhouse!"

"Rome, people are looking." Dean said, slumping down in his seat a little.

"He almost  _died_  because of you!" Roman shouted into the phone, not really listening until AJ stood and pulled his arm, to guid him outside.

"Roman, that's enough. Outside,  _now."_

He gave Dean and Seth an apologetic look before stepping out with AJ.

Hunter took the time to speak, "Rollins is none of my concern anymore-"

"You almost had him fucking murdered!"

Roman's free hand balled into a fist. The man's nonchalant attitude was unbelievable. How could he act as if nothing had happened when Seth had been an inch from death.

"We had a deal, Reigns. You'd give me Rollins and I'd keep Wyatt busy. Thats exactly what happened. If anything, this was  _your_  doing. I may have planned it, but you were the one to put it all into action."

 _"You threatened me with Dean!"_ Roman yelled with rage.

"Oh, because he's your responsibility now? Tell me Reigns, do you tuck him in at night?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Why? You're afraid he'll get his fragile little feelings hurt?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Roman wished he could hit something. How  _dare_  Hunter mock Dean like that, making light of everything Dean had been going though.

"Look Reigns, I'm gonna cut to the chase here. I personally don't give a damn what the hell went on with Bray Wyatt. But the fans do. They want Ambrose back, they want you back- hell, some of them even want Rollins back. They want all of you and they want the full story."

Roman thought about what Hunter was implying. Telling literally  _everyone_  what'd happened?

"No way."

"I mean, guess if you'd rather be suspended as well... Or I could just fire all three of you."

Roman tensed at that.

"I'm just trying to do what's best for business here. Either the Shield makes a comeback, or stays gone for good... Your call."

There was a long pause. Roman honestly didn't know what to think.

He watched AJ who was sitting on the curb, picking grass as she listened.

He needed to talk to the others before anything else.

"All three of us?"

"All three of you."

"Let me talk to-"

"Now or never, Reigns."

Roman pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes In thought.  
He didn't really have a choice if he didn't want to get them all fired...  
They'd absolutely hate him if he threw away their careers because he was worried they couldn't handle it.

"Fine, okay? We're in."

"Good. I'll see you at Payback."

* * *

 

"So what was that about?" Dean asked Roman, while poking Seth's arm with a knotted cherry stem until Seth acknowledged him and looked at it.

"He wants me back at work."

It wasn't a full lie...

"Dude, he has to let you recover first."

"No, it's been months remember?"

Dean bit his lip and nodded, "oh, right."

"Yeah. You can only fake a long recovery for so long before they stop believing you."

Seth had a look of concern on his face.  
"You didn't get in trouble over me did you?"

He couldn't tell them about about the match the three of them were now apparently going to be a part of at Payback, not in public. He had no clue how they'd react but he had a feeling neither of his brothers would be calm.

It was no secret that "best for business" meant just that, and that alone.  
Roman knew what Triple H had planned. It was obvious that the fans were wanting a Wyatt vs. Shield match, and he'd give them just that.  
It made Roman sick just thinking about it.  
And while they all were dying to get their hands on Bray, he wasn't sure Dean would be able to actually do it. Things had gone horribly at the compound, and it hadn't sounded like the hotel incident had gone all that well either. Payback was in a matter of weeks... How could he possibly be prepared by then?

"Not really..."

"Would it even matter?" AJ added.

"We had to rescue you from Wyatt. There was really no other option."

Seth nodded.

"Yeah, I guess." he said, as he watched Dean take the second cherry stem, which he'd just knotted also, out of his mouth and drop it in front of him.

"You're so weird." Seth said, squinting at the little knot.

"You're just jealous 'cause you can't do it."

"Why would I want to?"

"Definitely jealous," Dean laughed.

"Whatever, Dean." Seth responded, laughing too.

Despite the more playful mood that the others were able to keep up, Roman couldn't help but worry the whole ride home. He'd wanted so badly to have the Shield back together again, this just wasn't how he'd wanted it to happen.


	16. Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Again, sorry for the delay... I haven't had it in me to update for the past few weeks or whatever. But it's late, I have a headache, and I need sleep, so I'm just gonna leave this here. :P
> 
> Enjoy!

It was late by the time they got back to the safe house. Dean had tried not to seem nervous as they crossed the forest through the dark, but it still had him on edge.  
Once inside, he flopped down across the couch, exhausted.

AJ ruffled his hair and wished them goodnight before leaving the room.

He could tell she'd been trying to give them some space to work out whatever they needed to with the bad blood from their past.

He was glad she was sticking around though. The list of people he considered his friends was a rather small one, but he loved them all the same, and it was nice being surrounded by them.

He watched his brothers.

Seth stood for a moment and Dean could tell he was wiped out, but he didn't actually have a room as far as Dean knew, so that was probably why he then dropped down into the closest chair.  
Roman sat as well, studying his hands.  
He had to be stressed about the call from Hunter. Dean knew  _he_  definitely would've been, though he had his own reasons for that... But Bray's focus was still on him, so at least Roman probably wouldn't have to worry about that so much in the ring.  
But why did he still look so worried?

"Rome, you alright?"

Roman nodded, giving a small half smile. "Can I talk to you two about something before we turn in for the night?"

"What's up, bro?" Seth asked gently.

Roman waited for a nod from Dean before continuing.

"Well, Triple H wants me back at work... that's not all though," he took a deep breath. "He wants all three of us."

Dean bit his lower lip and sat up a little, his back pressed against the armrest of the sofa now.

Seth nodded next, "I mean I guess we sort of knew he would..."  
  
Dean thought about it, knowing more than likely he'd be put up against Bray.  
There was only so much the man could do in front of cameras, but what Dean feared was what he'd do after. There'd be others around, but Bray was best at keeping to the shadows, and not only that, what if he got into Dean's head again?

Or worse, what if Dean went willingly?

 _Well,_ he thought.  _not willingly. But sort of... after some manipulation..._

He absolutely hated that he couldn't seem to fight Bray like he thought he should. For some reason the man was always able to creep in, leaving a trail of poison in his wake that would eat away at Dean, making it that much easier the next time. Maybe that was it; Bray was always taking him apart. No matter how much he'd pushed for Dean's recovery after, there where scars, inside and out. His body looked bad but his mind was even worse.

"We'll be okay," Seth tried to reassure them. "We'll look out for each other, stick together between matches, watch our backs..."

"Seth-"

"We'll be okay."

"Seth." Roman tried again. "He doesn't want Seth, Dean, and Roman."

Dean met his eyes, there was  _no way._

"He wants the Shield."

"No." Dean said without filter.

Seth visibly tensed and glanced his way.

He just shook his head.

"No, I can't."

"Dean-"

"No." he rolled himself off of the sofa and stood.

"Can we talk about it at least?" Roman asked gently, while Seth motionlessly stared at his lap.

Dean looked between the two of them and shook his head again.

"No."

He made for the front door but stopped with his hand on the knob as fear washed away the impulse. Instead, he huffed a deep breath and went to his bedroom, closing the door harder than intended behind him.

Head in his hands, he sat on the end of the bed. He hadn't wanted to storm out like that, but everything in him was shouting and he didn't want to stick around and talk about it. He was panicking just thinking about it already. The whole thing felt like a trap, and the last thing he needed was to be manipulated yet again for someone else's benefit.

The sound of a soft knock on the door came with Roman's voice,   
"Dean?"  
  
The gentle tone of the man's voice only reminded him of how kind Roman had been to him through everything. The man must've had the patience of a saint because even Dean was getting fed up with himself at that point.

"Come in."

Roman did so, closing the door again, and leaning with his back against the dresser.

Dean broke the silence when Roman didn't.

"Look, I'm sorry to freak out about the whole..."

 _Shit._  He couldn't even say it.

"The whole... thing." he settled with.

"You don't have to apologize. It's a huge step to take, getting back together..."

Dean grimaced.

"Yeah well, count me out. I'm not doing it."

"We don't really get a choice." Roman said it as if it were simple.

"I can't _."_

"Is it about Seth?"

"No. It's not, okay? I just don't like Triple H pulling us around like dogs on a fuckin' leash."

"Trust me, I know. But there's not much we can do about it..."

"It's out of control. Everything is fucking out of control, and I don't know what to do- I just... what are we gonna do, Rome?"  
  
Roman pulled him into a hug and he pressed his forehead against Roman's shoulder.  
"First, you're going to take a deep breath."

"I can't. I can't do this again. I want things to be the way they were, I do. But I can't trust him... not again. He broke what we had and I don't think I can pick up the pieces from that."

So maybe it was  _partly_  about Seth. Did it even really matter though?

Roman sighed quietly in thought.

"Y'know Dean... I think you're right. I don't think we can be the same again. We each have memories and emotions, and things like that last. They're like scars, you can't just get rid of them... But they don't have to define you either. Things are going to be different, but it doesn't mean we should give up on it..."

Dean considered it all, unsure whether he believed Roman completely or not.

A lot was different. What if it was just too much to hold onto. Was it even worth the fight?

He'd been fighting all his life. Honestly he wished just once he'd get a break, just once.

But there was something to Bray's words... It seemed like there really  _was_  no rest for people like him.

And even if they  _did_  put the Shield back together, there'd still be cracks in it. Just like him, after everything, there were some parts that just couldn't be fixed.

He wanted to believe that they actually could embrace the new Shield, scars and all, but he wasn't sure. Just like with anything that'd been that badly damaged, it was bound to break again at any moment. Just like he was bound to break again. Any moment and everything could fall to pieces; everything around him and inside of him. It could all be gone in an instant.  
He'd always held a strong belief that there was no other way for him to go but through self destruction. It was just his nature.  
He'd never imagined it'd all fall down like this though.

* * *

  
Seth never did go to bed with the others. He decided that staying on the couch would be more respectful after Dean had sort of lost it at the mention of the Shield. He couldn't blame him, though it did hurt to a degree. Dean had expressed wanting to be brothers again, but when faced with the idea of putting the Shield back together, something in him seemed to snap.

Seth knew it was his own fault. How could things ever be the same after what he'd done to them?  
Roman had tried his best to reassure him that it was only because Dean was made to think Seth had harmed him instead of Bray, but Seth knew better than that.  
He knew Dean and he knew how damaging betrayal and abandonment were for him.  
He knew it was because he  _had_  harmed him, and Seth knew Dean's reaction to the current situation was all his fault.

If it came down to it and Roman couldn't convince Dean, Seth would just act like he was the one who'd refused to do as Triple H had ordered. Then at least the other two would be safe from the repercussions.

What that plan could mean for him was not something he wanted to think about before bed. He was already reliving horrors every night as it was, not as bad as Dean, but still not good either.

He honestly didn't know how Dean was recovering so well. After everything Bray had described doing to him...

Wyatt played mind games even without access to the mind. Seth couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to have him doing so from the inside out.  
He shuddered and curled up onto himself on the couch.

_No more thinking for tonight._

* * *

 

Roman awoke early the next morning. Dean hadn't slept completely peacefully, but the couple of times Roman had been woken by him, he'd brushed off all concern.

So while he felt bad for Dean, he was left with more sleep than he'd gotten in quite a while.

He watched his brother's scarred face contort slightly, and thought about waking him, but he knew that despite the faces and the quiet noises he was now making, it might be the best sleep he could hope to get.

Roman must not have been the only one up though, because he could smell breakfast wafting through the house.

He looked at Dean again, wondering if he'd be okay alone, but decided that even if he wouldn't, he wasn't taking to Roman for comfort either.

He wasn't really bothered by the fact that Dean had wanted that kind of space ever since finding out about the Shield, but he did worry.  
Figuring it'd be okay for him to leave Dean by himself for a little while, he got up and made for the kitchen.

Seth had stayed on the couch all night. Roman had told him he could take his bed, but for whatever reason he hadn't.  
He must've woken up early too because there was only a blanket in his place, and Roman soon found him in the kitchen.

"Morning." he said, stirring some eggs he had going on the stove.

"Well look at you, Mr. Homemaker!" Roman teased with a smile.

Seth always used to get up early before the others to run, but he was never one to cook for everyone. Maybe it was partly because they liked to make fun of his cooking, but it just didn't seem like a very Seth Rollins thing to do in the first place either. The times he had cooked for them, the food had been good, really good actually. What they'd gotten onto him about were his "hippy shit" recipes. At least that's what Dean had called them.

Roman still remembered the ridiculous argument between his brothers about the banana ice cream recipe Seth had tried once when they'd first gotten together.  
Seth had been trying to convince Dean to eat it but he was clearly fighting a losing battle. His reasoning was that it was more natural and much better for them.

Dean had refused to even give it a chance, stating that ice cream's natural state was to be "full of chemicals and whatever else it is Seth's too scared to tarnish the integrity of his body with."  
Dean later admitted to Roman alone that the reason he wouldn't try it was because he was allergic to the cinnamon he'd put in it, but also because it was Seth's "hippy shit."

Seth was pissed the day he finally did find out, and of course Dean thought it was hilarious.

It seemed the two just needed to be at odds about something at all times. Didn't matter what, it just kept them off each others throats. He guessed as long as they had each other close enough to hit and claw, it was enough to keep them from taking it any further.

Roman didn't know with those two.

Though he and Dean hadn't always seen eye to eye, he at least felt like their relationship had been more... normal.

"Hush up and try one of these for me." Seth held out a plate of waffles.

He'd obviously located the waffle iron AJ had insisted they'd need for the house, the heart shapes were a bit of a giveaway.

Roman did as he was told, munching away at one of them as Seth watched him expectantly.

"It's overcooked, isn't it?"

Roman laughed a little, "No Seth, it's great."

"Are you sure? I think I burned them a bit."

"Seth. It's really great. Did you make anything for yourself?"

He knew Seth wouldn't be able to handle waffles just yet.

"Yeah, Dean said juice, and maybe some fruit or nuts if I'm up to it."

He pointed to said things on the counter before turning back to Roman.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" he asked suddenly.

Roman should've known his fretfulness wasn't just about the food.

"He will be."

Seth nodded slowly, taking the eggs off the heat and moving them to a bowl.

"I'm gonna talk to him again today and see how he's feeling about what we talked about last night." Roman added.

Seth only nodded again.

"Did Wyatt give you any insight to what exactly he did to Dean?"

Seth looked away.

"He did... But I don't really feel comfortable sharing anything without Dean's permission, y'know?"

Roman nodded in understanding.

"Did he tell you what he wants with him?" Roman asked instead.

An awkward silence fell between them again before Seth answered,

"He told me that he'd healed Dean, separated him from the world... he said that you and me are like poison to him." Seth looked distant as he spoke. "Said we pull him in with sweetness, just to destroy him... he told me Dean didn't need that. Said Dean doesn't need  _any_  of it. So he tore Dean from it for his own good, stripped him of it all, and then rebuilt him. He told me that we're selfish and cruel to try and pull him back down with us... he said that all Dean needs in this life is him."

"That's such a load of bull."

Seth startled a little at Roman's outburst, but then an unsure look came over him.

"That's what I thought too, but what scares me is how much truth there is in all of it."

Roman's fury went on hold for a moment.

_"What?"_

"We've both hurt Dean."

"So has Wyatt," Roman was quick to retort. "At least we're trying to make it right again."

"So is Wyatt." Seth argued now.

"Holy shit Seth, do you even  _hear_  yourself right now?" Roman asked in total disbelief. "Wyatt's done a hell of a botch job with 'helping' Dean!"

"And what do you wanna call what we've been doing, huh?" Seth snapped.

"We're doing the best we can." Roman glared back until he caught the fear in Seth's eyes and the quietness of his voice when he spoke again,

"What if our best just isn't enough?"

He was desperate for an answer that Roman didn't have. Roman wished he had it for Seth  _and_  Dean's sake, but he just didn't, and there was no getting around that fact either.

"I don't know."

Seth bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to say something, but it never came. He just moved to set the table instead.

"What the hell are they going on about so early in the morning?" AJ's voice came from the next room over.

"Who knows." Dean groaned as he entered the kitchen. "Fucking loudmouths."

"Good morning to you too." Seth laughed softly. "When'd you get so sociable?"

"Probably happened overnight. Y'know, when I  _wasn't_  sleeping." he shot back. "Like when you woke me up."

Roman rolled his eyes.

_Yep, there they go._

He wasn't even the slightest bit concerned about their "hostility." He knew them well enough by now to know it was generally just playful arguing. He'd probably be more concerned if they  _weren't_  doing it, actually .

"Dorks." AJ laughed, shaking her head and taking a seat at the table. "You made the waffles!"

 _"Seth_  made the waffles." Roman corrected, laughing.

He didn't have a problem with them, he just hadn't thought they'd have time to make heart shaped food in the midst of rescuing Dean.

"I want like, fifteen of them." Dean said, stealing one with his fork.

"Dude, you can't even eat fifteen of them." Seth laughed.

Dean smirked, "That a challenge?"

" _Hell no._ 'Cause I know you, you'll actually do it, and the rest of us will have to hear you bitch about it the rest of the day."

"Aw. You're no fun, Sethie." Dean grinned, dimples showing. "Whatever, they're probably weird hippy shit waffles anyway."

Seth just shook his head, laughing.

* * *

  
  
They'd had a nice meal together, but something had been nagging Dean from the back of his mind the whole time.

He was pretty good at shoving things down until he could properly deal with them. It was sort of a survival tactic of his. Take a hit, hit back. There was no time to stop and assess the damage.

He was generally all fight, and no flight. It got him into trouble sometimes, but he didn't really care.

Sometimes he liked trouble.

He never liked to spend time doubting himself though, he had enough other people doing that for him already.

Apparently he could add Seth and Roman to the list.

He knew he shouldn't have listened in on them, but when he'd heard his name as he was walking towards to kitchen, he couldn't help himself.

Trouble. Maybe that was his problem, he had a tendency to seek it out before it even had a chance to make its way to him.

He'd thought he'd been doing a great deal better though than before. Evidently he was wrong to trust his thoughts there, too.

What was it they had called it?

_Oh right,"a botch job."_

He was a botch job.

_No, fuck that._

They could say it behind his back, scream it in his face, shout it on TV, tell it to the doctors, whisper it in his ear, carve it into his skin, but the one thing no one could ever do was make him truly become what they said he was.

Waste of space, troubled youth, broken soul, lost lamb, sick, worthless, lunatic, botch job. The list went on and on.  
It didn't matter, he was Dean motherfuckin' Ambrose. He didn't need a label, he  _was_  his own label.

Fuck anyone who tried to stand in his way. He was going to beat this, and if his friends wanted to help, then great, but if they didn't then he'd make it out on his own.

He was sick of being dependent. It was time he stood up and fought for himself. It didn't matter what happened now, he knew he could take it.  
  
Bring on betrayal, bring on Bray Wyatt, bring on Sister Abigail herself. He could take it all, and beat it.


End file.
